Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

FORUMS > Addiction
Replying to Topic: ...
Created On 10/3/11 8:42 PM by tryin2behopeful


Username:
Password:

Remember my login


[ Forget your login information? | Join the forums ]




tryin2behopeful
Supporter

Posts: 30
Joined: May 2011

10/3/11 8:42 PM
User is offline

...


Edited: 7/7/13 at 11:07 PM by tryin2behopeful
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

10/4/11 1:30 AM
User is offline

Maybe try aiming for one day at a time.

So you can try to make an effort to avoid it Tuesday. Just Tuesday.

Then, when the next day comes along, you can deal with that day at that time. But for now, you can congratulate yourself that you were victorious on Tuesday. And that you made G-d happy; because to Him, every effort is precious. And even one less bad thought, is important and precious to Him.

Hope to hear good and happy news.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Aba
Senior Supporter

Posts: 546
Joined: Jul 2008

10/4/11 2:21 PM
User is offline View users profile

I just came across a flier for www.guardyoureyes.org
Hotline: 646-600-8100

I didn't have time to check it out but the flier carriers Rabbi Feldsman and Rabbi Dr Tweski's names.

Good Luck and Kol Tuv.


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



tryin2behopeful
Supporter

Posts: 30
Joined: May 2011

10/4/11 4:38 PM
User is offline

...


Edited: 7/7/13 at 11:07 PM by tryin2behopeful
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Ineedspace
Supporter

Posts: 106
Joined: Aug 2011

10/4/11 5:27 PM
User is offline

According to what you describe it does seem that you are likely to suffer some form of porn addiction resulting from your depression. i believe that this is an extremely lonely and frustrating experience for you. You dont have to suffer from your sufferings;fortunately there is help out there. it does require an enormous amount of courage and trust though to expose oneself and I applaud you for that. Professionals today are very educated with these types of addictions and the treatments available. A good therapist will not judge you; it is not your fault. in the meantime i give you all my support, i admire your willpower, and i pray that hashem should help you out of this very soon. turn to us for support whenever.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

4/3/12 2:19 AM
User is offline View users profile

Hi, I struggle with such issues, too. With all due respect to the people at Guard Your Eyes (who are well-meaning people), that website did not help me an iota. What I needed was to understand what was driving me emotionally to look at these images. I spoke about this to my therapist a number of times, even though it was very hard for me to talk about it, since I'm so ashamed of it. Here's what he told me that i found helpful:

The fact that we find these aveiros so embarrassing is because we think were are the only ones doing it. The truth is that it's just as common as loshon hora, it's just less acceptable to talk about so you don't hear so much about people doing these aveiros.

It's not just a physical drive, it's mostly an emotional drive. If you think of it that way, you'll eventually find it easier to substitute one emotional commodity (such as viewing pornography) with another. As an example, I might feel a need to look at certain video online, but i decide to first try going onto frumsupport and to see if that will fulfill my emotional need. It often does help tremendously. Using your strengths to help others in need can go a long way in helping you feel fulfilled.

Realizing that it's just an emotional need may also help you feel less desperate to look at pornography when you feel the urge.

You need to gain an understanding of what you are missing emotionally. A good therapist is invaluable in that area, someone who makes you feel understood, who tries to understand your choices instead being critical of your choices.

I suggest you read this article by Dr. Sorotzkin, a frum psychologist with haskomos from rabbonim. http://drsorotzkin.com/psychological_factors.html
It's very insightful, and may help you understand yourself a bit better.





Fighting the addiction


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



crazykid
Senior Supporter

Posts: 248
Joined: Oct 2011

4/17/12 11:30 PM
User is offline

shtark, I can't thank you enuf for that link you posted! It helped me a great deal in clarifying things for my own self!! Right now, I'm struggling alone and with no support. I sent it to my T and he also agreed how amazing it is. Some factors rly pertained to me and I felt that this article just describes my own situation! It was rly awesome!! Can't thank you enough!! Tizka lemitzvas...

ur so right abt mentioning that it's most of the time the strong emotions behind this urge!! I've seen it for myself! I claim that no person would ever want to do such things. There must b a serious underlying reason that causes the person to do what he's doing. The same applies with acting out s-xlly. I'm so not judgmental especially when it comes to these things. A. Because I've went through this myself and B. Bc we can never know what exactly drives a person to do it. Most of the time it's a lack of a healthy emotional structure. I wud never blame anyone for giving into their lusts simply bc that person is not in control over that, or rather over their emotions. AND THERE IS NO POINT IN TREATING THE ADDICTION IF You DON't TREAT THE EMOTIONAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSES THE ADDICTION!!! I can't emphaisze enough on this!! When s/o just uses that 12 step program what Guard your eyes offers, for porn/sex addictions, it's like putting a band aid on a dangerous infection!! It will never heal that way, it might get worse bc the more time elapses without treating the problem, it gets worse. Porn is like salt water. You know that it's not healthy but you feel thirsty and you need it. It's a killer, but the drive for it is so much stronger than logic!! It takes a TREMENDOUS amt of effort and strength to resist that urge!! And anyone that resists is rightly entitled to be called a Tzadik/Tzedaikes......

I hope that the ones struggling will get the help they need!!
I wish you all lots of Hatzlucha specifically in this area!!


-------------------------
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it "shake well before using". That what GD has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

5/6/12 11:15 PM
User is offline View users profile

I just want you to hear some of my thoughts about the Guard your Eyes website. Here it is: http://nuchemrocks.blogspot.com/2011/04/guard-your-eyes-handbook.html


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



moshe
Supporter

Posts: 104
Joined: Jul 2005

3/13/13 5:24 PM
User is offline

hi crazykid,
AND THERE IS NO POINT IN TREATING THE ADDICTION IF You DON't TREAT THE EMOTIONAL PROBLEM THAT CAUSES THE ADDICTION!
very good point, however after reading from above http://drsorotzkin.com/psychological_factors.html, how are planning to work on inner problem?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



moshe
Supporter

Posts: 104
Joined: Jul 2005

3/13/13 5:26 PM
User is offline

hi tryin2behopeful,
I am basically curious are you a male or female? If you are female then it is strange to have PA.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

FORUMS > Addiction

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.