Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

FORUMS > OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Replying to Topic: FRUM PEOPLE WITH OCD
Created On 8/16/12 2:58 PM by his8sm


Username:
Password:

Remember my login


[ Forget your login information? | Join the forums ]




his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/16/12 2:58 PM
User is offline

Hi
Does anyone frum with OCD want to discuss this condition and give chizuk- I have had it under control for some years but relapsed recently and its very tough
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/16/12 10:18 PM
User is offline

How are you doing? Are you back from Israel?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



ayelet_hashachar
Supporter

Posts: 104
Joined: Aug 2011

8/19/12 10:25 PM
User is offline

I have some OCD tendencies...When something bothers me, my mind cannot let it go; it torments me 24/7... energy and thoughts wasted on obsessionality, paralyzing self-doubt...self-deprecating thoughts intrude and stop me from thinking clearly...hard for me to throw things out, embarrassed at being such a "pack rat"...

Ha-shem created me with this neurochemical imbalance. He could have easily created me without it. So there MUST be a very good reason- I see my OCD, anxiety etc. as my life's nisayon- because, you and I know dealing with these conditions is a life's work. As it says in Pirkei Avot: We are not expected to complete the entire job, but neither are we exempt from trying. As long as we are trying, working on ourselves, we are doing our job.


-------------------------
Let's just say G-d knew I had a sense of humor.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/20/12 12:43 AM
User is offline

I also tend to obsess about things. I used to doubt myself and check everything too much, but I've worked on that a lot in therapy. Sometimes during a panic attack I get this feeling of, how do I know that I'm really here, and that I'm supposed to be here, and that this is real and I'm not imagining things, and so on.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/20/12 2:50 PM
User is offline

hi
thank you both for your honest comments
yes, i am back from israel and it was a very stressful time, family wedding, a flat tyre, a blowout on the highway, hot weather and in the midst of my worst ever attack of ocd in 12 years but I survived somehow, and even though the week after was also hard i am slowly getting there

my therapist who i had a four year absence from and who isnt the sympathetic type (prob what i need) said something interesting and showed me a video from a guy called syd Banks. My therapist is charedi and said anything emes is simple and straightforward, look at the gedolim simple in their approach and outlook- these thoughts are sheker, totally complicated and twister- but thats all they are, thoughts, they arent reality, he then showed me this dvd which surprised me as it was goyish person, but he essentially said its just a thought...... i dont know why only the therapist seems to calm the thoughts down

so anyway, today i ve tried to think (and ive had loads of obsessive thoughts) its just a thought.....and let it run over me, because all obsessions have a life span (normally till the next one comes about!! seriously!) so maybe that can help you both
medication definetely helps, ive come to that conclusion because its only when ive come off it that ive had this relapse! ive finally accepted i have a proper illness which i shouldnt be afraid of..nor should i be afraid of my medication or the stronger medication i was once offered but turned down cos i was scared (even though its for use for my ocd off-label and not for other conditions)

.but i sure do wish society wouldnt be so prejudiced because last week i felt as ill as someone who had say, g-d forbid, a physical illness, but i couldnt bring myself to call into work sick..

as for hashem giving this to me, that i have trouble with- last two weeks ive hardly been able to daven, learn, and i cant understand why hashem would want that, but ive got to accept it
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

8/21/12 12:02 AM
User is offline

hope to hear good news soon
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/21/12 12:17 AM
User is offline

Mazel tov on the family wedding! Those can be very stressful, though. Glad to hear that you're feeling better!

Yes, recognizing that they are just thoughts and letting them wash over me like a wave is what I did in CBT also.

Maybe Hashem is giving you a test. If you're unable to daven and learn as usual, do you miss it? Do you feel sad about it? Like the Gemara about goyim kicking the sukkah because it was too hot.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/21/12 3:12 PM
User is offline

hi
the problem with this darn obsessions is sometimes I wonder, is G-d playing with me.
My therapist told me I dont need to take extra measures to protect myself, but then Im walking in town and feeling good, not looking at anything and then I see something out of the corner of my eye which I have a trigger to- why o why i wonder!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/21/12 9:27 PM
User is offline

Not sure if I understand what you mean, but if you see something that triggers you it's not your fault. The Tanya says that when a person experiences an unwanted thought he shouldn't blame himself because he doesn't have control over his thoughts. Instead, he should rejoice at the opportunity to let go of the thought, to not focus on it, which is an act of doing Hashem's will. Don't push it away, though. It will only make it worse. Just let it wash over you and leave.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/22/12 3:32 PM
User is offline

i guess in a nutshell i have contamination fears and sometimes i notice things red marks, etc...not rational, but OCD isnt
anyway, ive been told about the three principles school of thought and thats the video I told U I was shown by my therapist, essentially saying what you say, its just a thought, let it wash over you, well people have good and bad thoughts too, maybe I have more, but the thing is well people dont react to the bad thoughts, thats the key

I hope you are well
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/22/12 3:41 PM
User is offline

btw, i read your struggles on the other page and I sympathise. interestingly, here in Europe, in 12 years,ive never once been offered anything like Xanax or a tranquiliser, its not the done thing.

ive taken in the past 12 years at different times Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, Luvox, Escitalopram, Venlafaxine, and certainly in OCD, one tablet can work when another doesn't for someone else but there are plenty of options especially if Side effects occur- ie PAXIL worked for me, but side effects, so I changed to Zoloft, which did not work at all for me...so now im on Luvox, which does help when it kicks in.
i wish you well.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/23/12 12:15 AM
User is offline

Thank you for the sympathy. That's interesting that Xanax is not prescribed in Europe. I didn't take it today. I'm hoping that I won't need it too often.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/23/12 1:03 AM
User is offline

I hate that CBT refrain of "everyone has these thoughts, but healthy people don't react to them." When I was in CBT, I was young and vulnerable, and it just made me feel that it was all my fault. It's just not true. Healthy people don't feel such intense emotions around those thoughts.

By the way, the Rambam says in Shemone Perakim that we're not responsible for our thoughts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/23/12 3:34 PM
User is offline

Hi
its not they don't prescribe such drugs its just I reckon I would have to beg for them, I think the idea is they would rather anti-depressants work long term than short term drugs which can be addictive, but I reckon they do offer them to severe patients, I just never did get offered any
They tend to prescribe very conservatively here unless you go to a Psychiatrist, who I went to a few times, who tend to be more flexible and willing to mix and match.

 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/23/12 3:40 PM
User is offline

yes, I am not doubting what you say, i just think sometimes i take comfort from such theories
remember, your talking to someone who has been plagued by intrusive thoughts for years and even as a young child, I remember things really bothering me.
Ive never told anyone this but I had this compulsive prayer I said in bed when I was maybe 8 I would have my door open a certain amount and look at the stairs in my house and say, hashem,please let me live till 100-120, please let me live till tommorow!!- I cant believe I did that because Compulsions dont affect me as much as pure obsessional fears. anyone I would then turn over and go to sleep, but i remember always doing it.

my grandmother passed away on Yom Kippur and I remember being about 8 and looking up at this huge aron hakodesh in a big traditional shul and imaging when someone dies ,its eternity they are up there for, and clearly, I couldnt get my head round that mind blowing concept, who could!!!

so whilst I wasnt clinically ill until I was 21, the background was there for obsessional thinking. I remember Chemistry classes at aged 11 when the teacher said whatever you do, dont get acid on your hands, and I remember being terrified and thinking,how can they allow kids to do these experiments!!!

so there is the background, ive suffered even today intrusive thoughts and I am a bit miffed that these things bother me and dont bother other people- what im learning those, is to stop seeking reassurance because the tablets help me fade out the obsessions- again, i know another one is just around the corner so why worry about this one, lol- seriously, those tablets put seretonin into my head which is clearly lacking, so i can function alot better- it proves to me its a chemical illness and not my fault! I just wish hashem would give me a break with the triggers! ive had about 5 this week!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/23/12 5:28 PM
User is offline

You sound like you're the only one in the world with these issues. You're not . I've had similar issues for as long as I can remember myself, and so did another sibling. Runs in the family. When I was maybe two or three I had this recurrent nightmare that there was a huge button in my mouth, and i was almost choking. For most of my childhood I refused to wear clothes with buttons. Even now, I still feel like washing my hands, and usually do, after buttoning mine or kids' clothes. I know it makes no sense whatsoever. I'm sharing this just to show that you're not alone.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



his8sm
Supporter

Posts: 195
Joined: Oct 2006

8/24/12 5:30 AM
User is offline

Thanks for being brave enough to share that
I don't think it matters what the content is and I certainly don't judge on it
My condition is not rational and I also have a hard time understanding people with other types of ocd like tapping turning the lights on four times say
What matters is the dynamic and the fact it makes us give it a credibility it doesn't deserve
Is your family supportive
Here having such a condition is still much more of a stigma than in america. I tell nobody I am on medication unless I have to
I liked the article was it posted by you from chabad site of a tow truck the thing is because I hide the condition in public its not as if I'm out there helping others


 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

8/24/12 7:48 AM
User is offline

although the following link is for a specific situation, i think that some of the ideas might be helpful

http://www.mikvah.org/article/mikvah_and_obsessive_compulsive_disorder

have a good shabbos
hope to hear good news
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/24/12 12:50 PM
User is offline

Wow, Gad, thank you for posting the article. This woman is amazing, to go out of her way so much to help the women with OCD. Don't ask me how much time I used to spend getting ready for the Mikva when I first got married. I've gotten much more laid back about it over the years.

I had a teacher in school who told me that I don't need to be so nervous about halacha. She said she used to be like that, and that's what her father told her. That really helped me.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

8/24/12 1:01 PM
User is offline

His8sm, I don't think I'm being very brave. I'm not telling you my name . I also don't tell people that I'm on meds, except for very few.

OCD tendencies are not my biggest problem. As I said to my T once, if I don't feel that I want to die I can live with that.

I think you need to relax a bit about your condition. Lots of people have it. It doesn't mean that you are defective in some way, or that you're less valuable as a person. It's your nisayon, and part of your avodas Hashem is to accept the challenge and grow through it. And don't forget to use your sense of humor .

As for helping others, you can do it anonymously on this forum.

 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

FORUMS > OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.