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FORUMS > OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Replying to Topic: FRUM PEOPLE WITH OCD
Created On 8/16/12 2:58 PM by his8sm


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his8sm
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8/24/12 1:23 PM
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thanks- I would like to help more people
who is your T? Tatte? I presume u suffer more from depression itself
my condition came out in New York in August 2000- I just felt ill when it had been my ambition to go to New York- not so much as obsessions but feelings I could see inside m head and couldnt stop the images and it followed panic, in otherwords, i feared i was losing my mind- at a time I should have been at my happiest
i have been chilled about my condition for years but its this relapse for the first time in 4 years which hit me badly
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/24/12 2:24 PM
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T stands for therapist.

That experience in NY must have been horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Hope you feel better soon!
 
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his8sm
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8/26/12 9:56 AM
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thanks
no more or worse than anything else Ive been through- its just so strong sometimes, im amazed how it doesn't relent, I dont think anyone else could cope with it,but then again its my challenge!
my other challenge is not seeking reassurance that kills the obsessions short term, but long term just starts a cycle.
I have to go to the doctors next week about something which I know is sensible to go for, but then, I am faced with the easy option of easing an obsessions by asking for reassurance in another area........so difficult!
living with uncertainty is my biggest challenge, sometimes, i can do it,other times I cant...at moment, i cant!
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/26/12 5:57 PM
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I'm not sure I understand. Why are you living with uncertainty? Isn't it better to ask the doctor, so that you can be certain and tell yourself that there is nothing to worry about?

The sibling I mentioned sometimes calls me and asks for reassurance about some decision that was already made. I usually say that once the decision is made it is not productive to go back to it, unless some new information comes up. It's enough to believe that we've done our best with the facts that were available when making a decision.
 
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his8sm
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8/27/12 1:59 PM
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Hi
I think the idea is, about ocd, you ask for reassurance,even when you know what the answer will be, but its compulsive and your also asking about scenarios that "might have happened" I know this sounds weird but as an extreme example and not something that bothers me now, before I was diagnosed and "normal" I was in Israel in flip-flops, and a cat walked past me, for that night, I wondered, did it bite me, obviously I knew it hadn't but I then had false sensations and for the night I wondered about rabies......anyway, you cant go to a doctor and go, hi, a cat walked past me and i felt something, now Ive no evidence I was bitten but if i was......... thats OCD for you, doubt over whether something "might" have happened or then if it does, will you catch A,B,C

I can drive past someone and then notice a pedestrian..... I may look back, maybe I think I hit someone, should I drive back? these are a few things that your mind can play tricks on you about....
the below article may explain that reassurance can be addictive to an OCD Sufferer

Now, I do need to go to the doctors about an issue this week, and inside, I know it makes sense to get it checked out, its sensible to just get it checked, unlike some other things where I know the answer before I go...I know it sounds strange, maybe the below will help you understand it.

http://www.ocdla.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-597
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/28/12 2:18 AM
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I know what you mean about driving and looking back. When I was younger I used to get these anxious thoughts all the time, doubting myself about everything. Like, going to someone's house because they invited me, and on the way, getting worried that maybe I misunderstood, maybe they're not expecting me, maybe they'll be surprised to see me, and so on.
 
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his8sm
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8/28/12 4:15 PM
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funnily enough, first times in years i felt the need to drive back past where i was as i i saw a cyclist next to me and when i looked back didnt see him!
anyway, i would say luvox has been fantastic so far for anxiety, its just not tackled the Obsessions yet, it did previously but i think i need the dose to be higher for that to take effect! funny how it worked so well i was down to nothing on it, but now ive relapsed i feel the need to go higher
do you work? i do, and actually although its good to be busy, i find i am worse at work!
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/29/12 1:11 AM
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I've been mostly busy with my family, and when I work, I work from home, which is actually more relaxing for me than running around getting things done. I don't think it matters what I'm doing. It seems to be chemical. Sometimes I get these anxious thoughts and sometimes I don't.
 
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his8sm
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8/29/12 4:00 PM
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I would love to work from home! would be perfect for me but i cant find anything to do from home that would pay- any ideas!!!
how r u feeling this week
ive upped my meds slightly- hopefully will work
how long have u been on meds?
ever thought about vitamin supplements/diet to help
i was trying that before i went back on meds, would love it to be possible but dont think i have the luxury of experimenting
sometimes i wish doctors did more thorough checks to see what im lacking, as its surely chemical with me, but i reckon a very in depth medical could tell if im a certain vitamin short etc
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/30/12 11:39 PM
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What do you do? There are computer jobs that let you work at home.

I don't do anything that would provide a reasonable income. Just stuff on the side, writing, translating sometimes.

I've been totally exhausted this week, but I've been doing a lot. I'm trying to give myself more breaks.

I've tried just about any natural thing out there during the years when I was having babies. Now I think I might be done, or taking a long break, so I'm on meds for the first time in my life. I started taking them Shavuos time. They're more effective than the natural stuff.
 
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his8sm
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9/1/12 6:28 PM
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im an assistant manager in a department- financial services- i am partly qualified and have multiple degrees- so I have the qualifications but not the confidence to move higher up the ladder, im on an average wage, i think i should be doing better but my current job is low pressure, fairly low stress, allows me to leave early on friday, etc etc, so ive not moved, i dont think now is the time to move until im more stable,which is coming,tablets are kicking in, apart from possible side effects
anyway, computer jobs, work from home,i need a guaranteed income to pay the mortgage and whilst im on an average wage,its still fairly decent, just maybe not what i want to be on for someone as qualified as i am!! anyway, parnassah is all in hashems hand!
its v admirable u didnt take tablets till u felt u had to- i mean you tried all natural stuff, in a way, i wish i had before i started paxil in 2001!!! paxil btw was great for me i felt the most normal ive ever been but had tremendous side effects, i dont know if i trialled some of the earlier drugs well enough, i had a not so good doctor then,so i went on zoloft which you are on,but gave up at a low dose, but we all know these things are trial and error and take time!
i took prozac for many years,worked good at first but basically stopped working!!!

anyway, i feel now the obsessions fade quicker, and i can carry on with life, they dont disappear but fade more to the back of my head, after the month i had, i will take that for sure- its not ideal, but puts a lid on it
anyway, in shul today, i noticed a poster for a conference next week on the 3 principles i told you about last week, so i may go!

funny, u started shavuos i stopped taking on shavous after 12 years, felt so happy and felt fine for a month until slowly it crept back and a trigger set me off- oh well, hashem has the plan and cant doubt everything is for the good-however hard and lonely it can feel

r u chassidishe- i find great comfort in the baal shem tov teachings
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/3/12 1:02 AM
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Glad to hear your meds are working better. Maybe once you're feeling better you can consider changing jobs.

I'm not chassidish. Yet. My husband has been pulling me in that direction for many years, despite great resistance on my part , but by now I'm actually enjoying learning chassidus and finding it relevant to my life. It's so much more positive and encouraging than what I learned before.
 
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his8sm
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9/3/12 4:12 PM
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Interestingly enough, I got into chassidus cos i went to a chassidsh hypnotherapist, who helped somewhat a while back, an interesting guy, who got me into classical music which was soothing and then i went to a shiur from a friend of his and before u know it, im there 4 nights a week
i dont dress chassidish or act it but the philosphy i enjoy i find it soothing, and i always liked chabad to an extent,
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/3/12 4:55 PM
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My husband doesn't dress chassidish either, mostly because I'd freak out (what would my family and friends think?), but I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere down the line he starts, and if I get to the point of being OK with it.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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9/3/12 5:32 PM
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I agree. I feel chassidus is relevant and helpful.
a lynn
 
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his8sm
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9/4/12 8:03 PM
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on a slightly different note, there is a mini health conference here next week i hope to attend on Innate Health and based on the three principles
I cant quite work out what the principles mean yet- my therapist showed me a DVD and its about forgetting looking at your problems but seeing them as "just a thought"
everything ive watched on you tube and the net seems to tell you how great the three principles are without telling you how to apply them, so i hope this conference shows me techniques to apply them!
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/5/12 1:30 AM
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That sounds intersting. I'd love to hear more about it.
 
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his8sm
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9/30/12 9:32 AM
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his8sm
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9/30/12 9:33 AM
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hi
how have u been
sorry not been in touch due to yom tovim
on the whole been good, slight relapse since yom kippur but to be expected i suppose
i went to a talk on the three principles by Sydney Banks, very much in line with jewish thought as the talk was given by an orthodox rabbi who advocates it
maybe u can google it, there is some stuff on you tube, my therapist (charedi) introduced me to the concept- if i had more time at moment i would read more, but as u well know, time at a premium with succos preparations
 
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HopefulMommy
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10/15/12 1:50 AM
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I found this: http://www.tikun.co.uk/innatehealth. Is that the conference you went to?
 
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