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keepsmiling
Junior Supporter

Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2009
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11/14/09 11:29 PM
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I agree that having a medical issue makes you a stronger and more sensitive person. There are people who are perfectly healthy and after they get married are diagnosed with serious health problems. So it's all in G-d's hands and people like us should hopefully be made stronger and become better people by the challenges we face. After being rejected by a nice young man because of my MS, I wrote a poem to give myself encouragement, about what a greater and better person I have become, with G-d's help, as a result of my challenges. It took time and effort and patience, but Boruch Hashem today I am married to a wonderful young man whose parents told him that he has to decide for himself if he wants to marry me. They were supportive when I had a relapse. Every person is different, but here's what worked for me:
1 - PRAYER - pray like you really mean it and really are begging and trusting that G-d is listening and can help. You can pray in your own words, at any time of day. I found that praying by my grandfather's grave was very powerful - the peaceful and solemn atmosphere of the cemetery was very conducive to focusing on G-d's presence and crying in prayer. Having others pray for you too also helps.
2 - Speak to a Rabbi whom you trust- I usually keep my MS secret, but I got a private meeting with a compassionate and respected rabbi in my community. I prepared ahead of time - I gave him a straightforward explanation of my condition, my specific case, how I manage my MS and how it affects me, and how I've grown as a person in faith and sensitivity as a result. I also asked and arranged for him to have a private phone meeting with my neurologist, who gave him more details about my prognosis and answered his questions. I also got Rabbinical advice about when would be an appropriate time to disclose my "secret" to any young man that I may be dating. The next time I told a guy I was dating about my MS, I told him (and his parents, if they were involved) to call this Rabbi - a respected rabbi who was impressed by my attitude and knew specific details about my prognosis. He was very willing to advise them about me. It helped a lot.
3- Networking! This is good advice for anyone in shidduchim. Hatzlacha raba - I hope this was helpful, and that you find "Mr Right" very soon, b'sha'a tova!
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