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FORUMS > General (Mental Health)
Replying to Topic: Dating Question
Created On 4/28/13 8:10 PM by itsallgood


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itsallgood
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4/28/13 8:10 PM
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I'm starting to date, and I'm finding that I'm having a hard time believing that any of the guys are actually going to accept me with my issues.I'm seriously thinking about accepting guys with physical disabilities as prospects, because I just think those people are often more mature and sensitive. Any advice? Thanks!
 
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wannabehappy21
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4/29/13 8:16 PM
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i totally get what you are saying. i am thinking of doing the same thing.
i rather marry someone without any disability but i would consider it.
its nothing to be ashamed of.
 
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star
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4/29/13 9:02 PM
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ive dated about ten guys so far, all of them without any issues that i knew of, but never got to the point of needing to tell them about meds etc.
i am open to guys with disabilities but i first am trying "normal" guys because there are sensitive guys out there-it might just take a while to find them, might have to go thru a lot of guys til you find one.
im on sawuatsinai and actually told one of the shadchanim there about my issues and its not on my profile but i think she set me up with someone with a hidden issue also. so sometimes you both have hidden issues.
also i date a lot of older guys- i figure at that age they are more willing and open to life experiences such as depression.
thats just my two cents, hope it was helpful.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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HopefulMommy
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4/30/13 12:46 AM
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I think people with disabled or ill family members, or who have been through some kind of crisis, are also more mature and more sensitive.
 
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itsallgood
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4/30/13 8:25 PM
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Thanks for all the advice! I'm also on sawyouatsinai, but I don't fell comfortable disclosing my illness to the matchmakers yet. Dating older guys seems like a good idea.
Hopefulmommy, are there any specific traits that you find important in a spouse when dealing with mental illness?
 
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HopefulMommy
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5/1/13 2:14 AM
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Just discussed it with my husband. What we came up with is that, first of all, the person has to know that life is challenging in general, and be ready and willing to deal with challenges rather than escape from them. Other helpful traits are kindness, caring, desire to help others.
 
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itsallgood
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5/2/13 11:01 PM
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Good advice, thanks!
 
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alharro
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10/1/13 3:22 PM
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itallgood, just following up - also entering the dating game , any tips ?
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/1/13 9:20 PM
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Why would u need to disclose an illness to a shadchan?
 
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emunahdoj
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10/2/13 12:30 AM
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I feel you...,it's really hard dating and wondering how anyone will ever accept the mental illness. I dated "normal" guys and BH my husband is fine with all of my issues. I know it seems nearly impossible and hopeless...I ended up in the hospital because I was so worried about how I would ever get married and find a guy who could deal with me. Hashem helped me and BH I am married to a very suppportive guy.
 
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alharro
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10/2/13 8:58 AM
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cutiestarr, otherwise would feel that i am fooling the other party - not a good idea to start a relationship
 
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alharro
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10/2/13 8:59 AM
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emunahdoj, excuse me if i am asking personal questions , but does your husband have any mental health issues ? who was shadchan ?
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/14/13 7:43 PM
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Don't worry, I believe the right one will come. All our experiences make us better people and hopefully he will be able to tell this.


Edited: 10/14/13 at 7:56 PM by Cutiestarr
 
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alharro
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10/21/13 1:43 PM
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cutiestarr,

keep on getting "NO ONE" will touch you if you have a psychological issue !
 
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alharro
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10/21/13 3:25 PM
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cutiestarr,

any ideas
 
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hashemrunstheworld
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10/29/13 12:17 AM
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emunahdoj,
ur comment was helpful...
Im still in the dating scene and always in the back of my mind have that worry
of who will actually tolerate me in the long run with my issues (specifically with mental health)
I have the capability of coming across as a normal person but that's when I'm in public situations..


Edited: 10/29/13 at 12:20 AM by hashemrunstheworld
 
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emunahdoj
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11/12/13 10:19 PM
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allharro- nl, my husband does not have any mental health issues.

hashemrunstheworld- glad my comment helped you. It's true. I'm telling you...I ended up in the hospital obsessing over who will be with me because of all my mental health issues and BH I got married!
 
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Lasthope
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12/23/13 2:33 AM
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hashemrunstheworld, your name says it all - Hashem runs the world
if more people started being open about their mental illness there wouldn't be such worries and fears
 
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keep climbing
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12/30/13 9:34 AM
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Lasthope, how are you?
 
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Lasthope
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1/1/14 3:19 PM
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keep climbing, thanks for asking...doing better B"H, mood has slightly gone up, thanks to Cipralex so I'm managing a bit better. Can't say it's that much of a change, but even a slight change in mood out of the dark hole is a big relief. How are you?
 
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