Any others feeling anxious or panicked today???

What is on your mind today?

Share it here if you want to get it out!

I, for one, am anxious about everything, though if I had to surmise specifics, I would probably say much of my thoughts are related to my new job and not being competent at it.....

I started at the beginning of December. The first 2 weeks was training in a classroom setting, but since then I have been on the unit in the hospital working with patients. The first two weeks weren't anywhere as close to the feelings of angst that I have had since I have been on the "floor". Not unlike what I felt in NY, I feel high anxiety at work to the degree that it doesn't allow me to be fully emotionally -or for that matter intellectually- there. I typically feel out of control, in the sense that I feel and fear that 1)I am not in the know of what I should be doing and 2)I am not doing what I am already doing correctly.

It has been draining on a psycho-emotional level, though it is difficult to talk about emotions when it would "feel" (the irony) that I am not experiencing a range of emotions outside of dread and angst. Objectively speaking, I have made it through my complete orientation period -a period during which a more experienced RN was assigned to me to guide and support me and ensure that I wouldn't do anything unsafe- and have since spent three days on my own without my preceptor. In my mind, though, I don't know what I am doing and I am waiting to be reprimanded and be "found out" for not being the professional that I think they think I am supposed to be. (incredible how supportive my mind is of me, huh?)

Because of my 13+ hours days, I only work three days a week, which in theory should give me time to defuse and get a hold of myself. However, for most of that "free" time I have been feeling on edge, which obviously doesn't leave me with the ability to engage in productive or recreational activities. While writing this, I realize that I am looking to get untangled, to find the beginning of this mess and -one by one- take apart the dysfunction. The good question is....where is the beginning? Where does this mess start? In place of the word "start" -or for that matter the whole last sentence- I am asking, "where can I find solid ground?" i.e. where can I begin and move from a place of security and assurance and, with one thing at a time, do what it is that I have set out to do?

G, (as in my name) help yourself!

How are you doing, Interested?