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FORUMS > Personality Disorders
Replying to Topic: Advice
Created On 10/14/13 6:54 PM by Cutiestarr


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Cutiestarr
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10/14/13 6:54 PM
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I was at a family friend's house whose standards of kashrus are not my own. While there, my mother called my psychiatrist because I would not eat my dinner. What mother calls their 21 year old daughter's psychiatrist for not eating her dinner?
Just venting about my experience...maybe someone has advice.
 
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MoMo
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10/14/13 7:07 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: Cutiestarr
I had my second child recently which causes stress as well

Thanks

If you're 21 years old now how old were you when you had your two babies?
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/14/13 7:47 PM
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I was 19 and 21 when I had my sons.
 
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MoMo
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10/14/13 8:26 PM
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I think I asked a rude question. I'm so sorry.
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/14/13 10:20 PM
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It's ok Momo it wasn't rude! It's no problem I enjoy talking about my kids.
 
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MoMo
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10/14/13 11:41 PM
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Are you married?
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/15/13 8:39 AM
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I am, Momo. But maybe if we focus on details later and talk about my struggles now instead, I think things would be much more comfortable.


Edited: 10/15/13 at 8:39 AM by Cutiestarr
 
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MoMo
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10/15/13 11:11 AM
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You are right.
 
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mouse
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10/16/13 7:29 AM
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I think you have to set boundaries with your mom (just in case you didn't realize it.) Forbid psychiatrist to talk with her. He cannot by law do so without your consent. Next, I'd have a sit down with dear ole mom and tell her you are now an adult and can chooose your own behaviors and deal with the consequences (positive or negative.) Even if it means not eating a meal. Remind her you are married with family of your own and not willing to be her baby forever. Remind her your love her. And tell her that you told psychiatrist not to talk with her.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/16/13 8:18 AM
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I think she is allowed to call my psychiatrist, but my psychiatrist is not allowed to give her information, legally.

She says, "This is the United States, I can do whatever I want." She seems to enjoy when I feel uncomfortable. She knocks on my door when it is locked and demands to get in.

I try speaking about it with my doctor but she does not like that I am speaking badly about my mother. I say I am just trying to improve my relationship. No therapist wants to speak with me about it they say because of kibbud av v'em.
 
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keep climbing
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10/16/13 10:44 AM
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Never heard of such a thing! You are allowed to talk about anything. Something's off, Cutiestarr.
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/16/13 10:59 AM
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That's what I would think right? But no doctor wants to speak with me about my mother.

I once asked an inpatient psychiatrist what he thought of my mother. He said, " It would be unethical to tell you that." Huh? Maybe some talmid chochom can tell me why no psychiatrist wants to speak about my mother. Maybe it is because she helps financially?
 
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mouse
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10/16/13 4:08 PM
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huh??????? something is wrong. Your mom is one of them.. She has crossed the boundary.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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10/20/13 6:11 AM
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yeah.. .somethings def off.... \((((((((((HUGS))))))))
 
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alharro
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10/21/13 1:47 PM
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maybe your mother is a worrier - happens sometimes. wanting to double check that everything is ok all the time. see it happening by myself all the time ! but it doesn't give the psychiatrist an ok to talk private issues without permission.
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/21/13 2:54 PM
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That may be true, but there are healthy ways of expressing your concern. One way is to ask the other person how they are doing. Another way is to call the person's psychiatrist's emergency number - violating the psychiatrist's personal boundaries as well for something that is not a medical emergency and likely not related to mental health either.


Edited: 10/21/13 at 2:55 PM by Cutiestarr
 
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alharro
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10/21/13 3:24 PM
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i didn't want to say that she is doing the rite thing - just wanted to maybe give a perspective.

btw i think you have the right to tell the psychiatrist that she has no rite to give personal information.
 
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