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FORUMS > Personality Disorders
Replying to Topic: Intimacy(sensitive topic.)
Created On 4/9/14 12:27 AM by tikvah


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tikvah
Junior Supporter

Posts: 19
Joined: Feb 2013

4/9/14 12:27 AM
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Hi
I hope this doesnt offend anyone, but then again you have the choice to read or not.

So Ive been struggling with "intimacy" . Meaning this is something I looked forward to during depression and now Im dissapointed.
I'm not enjoying it and I dont want to just be in this marriage 50 years down the line and have this issue unresolved.
I researched some issues that can be causing the lack of enjoyment and tried to have an honest discussion with my husband about it.
It ended with him blaming me for being overly critical (hes been out of a job for a while.) and due to my mean family, bullying.
That really hurt me a lot to hear that. I dont even know where im going with this. My doc hasnt been helpful, he says going down on meds may help but im going down and no help and thats not the main issue. There are no frum s*x therapists(wow frumsupport didnt let me write the real world. cmon were all adults.) where i live. and im starting to see a t at a clinic due to some issues w my doc
and im almost sure i wont find one that gets me like my doc, since ive been thru so many rly bad t's. so i def wont be talking to them about intimacy.
so where do i go? what do i do? im actually asking for suggestions for once. but pls try not to hurt me. and pls no mention of taharas hamishpacha cuz thats a huge trigger.


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all you need is a leap of faith
 
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toy123
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Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

4/9/14 7:27 AM
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First of all I think you should start with your new therapist with a fresh mind. Because you had bad experience with other therapists doesn't mean this one will be bad too. If this is of any comfort my best therapists were the one I had in the clinic I am in now, and I have been to plenty private ones. Also a lot of non-frum s*x therapists know about the Jewish laws...


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Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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HopefulMommy
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Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

4/9/14 10:56 AM
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It could definitely be the meds. Maybe you need to cut down even more.

There are kallah teachers/Rebbetzins who specialize in intimacy. I know you might be put off by the fact that they teach Taharas Hamishpacha, but you don't need to talk to them about that. You can tell them that you've already learned the halachos and that you have your own Rav you talk to about that, or whatever. And just ask them specifically about intimacy. Tell them you're on birth control for medical reasons. You don't need to be more specific.

Another place to ask is the intimacy section at imamother.com.
 
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tikvah
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Posts: 19
Joined: Feb 2013

4/9/14 10:48 PM
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noone understands me. u dont get it. i def cant talk to kalla teachers, im way too out of the box and they r close minded.believe me ive tried.
ugh.....


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all you need is a leap of faith
 
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mouse
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Posts: 1931
Joined: Oct 2007

5/8/14 1:29 AM
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I believe there is a frum sx therapist in NY. PM me if interested.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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