Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: Pornography Addiction
Created On 5/2/06 10:07 AM
Topic View:

Pages: [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 >> Next ]
View thread in raw text format


luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/2/06 10:07 AM
User is offline

This forum is for people who have a pornography addiction and want to stop but cannot. It includes internet pornography and other types of activities.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/2/06 8:26 PM
User is offline

One suggestion that I heard about is to have a buddy monitor the history button. What do you think?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/3/06 12:44 AM
User is offline

Someone who is addicted to pornography will find any way to get his fix. That doesn't help. He will just delete the history when he is done. If someone has this addiction, I would be glad to talk to them.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/3/06 1:30 PM
User is offline

A technical question: If someone erases the history, would the other person know that it was erased? If so, he can then confront him and ask him why he erased the history. This could serve as an incentive.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



az
Supporter

Posts: 35
Joined: Apr 2006

5/3/06 2:36 PM
User is offline

In my humble opinion, ''solutions'' such as monitoring, confronting, etc. do not address the underlying issues that fuel this or any other type of addiction. Unresolved psychological/emotional issues have a way of begging for comfort whether through an eating addiction, porn addiction, among many other addictions. The underlying psychic pain needs to be confronted and worked through. And the person's gotta do it himself/herself. Y'cant do it for him/her. It's certainly helpful to support them, but policing them ain't the solution. I'm no psychologist, I merely speak from my own experience and education. A porn addiction, like any other addiction, has its roots in deeper unresolved issues. Find the courage to speak to a competent mental health professional and hatzlacha raba to you!

az
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/4/06 4:31 PM
User is offline

az,
Thanks for you input, it makes alot of sense.
As for your wish for success with this, we are just talking about ways to help others. Boruch Hashem we don't have the problem ourselves.
But thank you anyway for your good wishes, and again for your good advice.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/6/06 10:34 PM
User is offline

I do have this addiction and I have gotten help and I am part of a very good support group. It is very healthy to admit to an issue. It is the first step towards recovery.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/6/06 10:36 PM
User is offline

You can delete just the parts of the history that you want and the person monitoring will never know. There are different programs that you can install for free (WE-BLOCKER) that monitors all the traffic. That you cannot erase without the master password.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



frumtherapist
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2005

5/6/06 11:40 PM
User is offline

I think it is great that a new thread on this topic was begun. Computer, internet, and specifically internet porn addiction is a massively growing problem in our communities.
Regarding a comment that was made, I would like to share...
Programs such as monitoring your internet use via a buddy CAN help, so long as your intent is to do something "curative" for your problem. In other words, if parents think their teen child has an internet problem, and they install such a program as a means of monitoring, it is highly likely to be ineffective. However, if the person who is struggling is invested on working on this problem, and utilizes such a program, it can be an additional, effective tool for a recovery process.
I would also like to add that addictions such as gambling, s--, and internet are known as "process" addictions, as opposed to substance addictions, yet are no less damaging and dangerous. If somebody feels like they have a habit that had spiralled out of control and is causing them harm in some way, they should seek out competent ADDICTION therapists for an assessment and assistance.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/7/06 10:01 AM
User is offline

To Luvshtygen,
Thank you for the information.
It's very commendable that you are reaching out to try to help others. It's a nice Mitzvah.
Hatzlocho.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/7/06 10:19 AM
User is offline

To Frumtherapist,

Thanks for the explanation. It gives alot of clarity.

Yasher koach for all the good work you are doing helping people.

I suppose the ultimate cleansing of the internet will take place when Moshiach comes and "Vies rucah hatumah avir min horetz" (I will remove the spirit (cyberspace?) of impurity from the land.)

Maybe this will happen due to the efforts of people like you (both curative and preventive) and also due to a general awareness about G-d ("Umoloh horetz deah es Hashem.")

Again yasher koach and hatzlocho in these efforts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



helpushelpthem
Junior Supporter

Posts: 1
Joined: May 2006

5/7/06 3:45 PM
User is offline

Any pointers as to how to confront someone who is addicted but not willing to admit it? How can a spouse get their other half to realize the problem as solvable, so that divorce is not the next logical step?

 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/7/06 4:39 PM
User is offline

Probably by contacting someone like Frumtherapist, someone who is a trained professional and has experience and a good track record in dealing with this.

You can contact Relief at www.reliefhelp.org 718-431-9501
(They can probably guide you as to how one spouse can talk to the other in a constructive way.)

Two other suggestions are contacting Ohel, and Echo.

Hatzlocho


Edited: 5/7/06 at 4:49 PM by gad
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



waiting
Junior Supporter

Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2006

5/7/06 5:08 PM
User is offline

Hello Helpus

Pornography is just one aspect of s-- addiction. S-- addiction is serious and needs the desire of the addict to be helped and professional attention in order for the help to be truly effective.

I would recommend contacting a professional on your own in order to get direction for yourself and your family. The therapist can help you to understand the problem, explore ways of dealing with it and confrontation if that is determined as effective. Additionaly, and perhaps most importantly, the professional can help you to free yourself from enabling or feeding into the addiction or addict, and allowing it to take over and control your life.

From personal experience, I know that this is a tough addiction to live and cope with.


Hatzlachah Rabbah!




Edited: 5/7/06 at 5:09 PM by waiting
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/7/06 10:49 PM
User is offline

A therapist is a must to help the addiction. Besides a therapist, you need to be part of a support group. There are support groups for this addiction all over the place. You would be surprised how many Jewish people are there. The way to see is to come to a meeting and see for yourself. I didn't think I was addicted until I went to a meeting and heard everyone else talking. If someone is not sure if they are addicted to s--, or pornography I urge them to swing by a meeting. If anyone needs help finding one, please say so and I will help them. I am talking from experience.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



frumtherapist
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2005

5/8/06 12:45 PM
User is offline

I also think it is important to understand that s.. addiction can take many forms. Someone may be acting out solely through the internet...
As with any other addiction, s.. addiction is progressive - which means, over time, as the person continues to engage in the behaviors, the problem grows and develops. An addiction specialist can help the addict and family members see and understand the exact nature of the individual's progression.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/9/06 12:54 AM
User is offline

A therapist will help but the person in the meantime needs to be with other s--aholics in order to work as a team and have a support group to talk honostly and truthfully in order for that person to be true to himself. A s--aholic will still lie to his therapist and family and say whatever needs to be said to "get them off his back". In a support group, there is no need to lie. It is all honosty. He is understood and feels that. He is able to work on himself because he sees other people in front of him suffering from the same addiction and that the support program and 12 step program works. He needs to be in an environment where he can talk out his inner secrets and get the lust and thoughts out of his head.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/9/06 1:05 AM
User is offline

If anyone would like to talk about this addiction or to find out where the closest support group is to you, you can email me on my private email address. The email address is sxaddict@optonline.com.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

5/9/06 2:17 PM
User is offline

I have been reading here and trying to be understanding about the fact that looking at porn and/or engaging in other Sxual activities is being conveyed as an addiction. From the posts I have read, it feels almost as though a person who is addicted to pornography is on a similar standing as someone who cannot stop drinking alchohol.

I feel that on some level this is a rather disconcerting parallel.
If a person is an alchoholic, he systematically destroys his own body.
What kind of destruction is a person who is veiwing porn, doing to himself? (besides destroying his neshomo) Often porn films and pictures are being done by people who are being forced to expose themselves in this manner, and sometimes even abused. Lo Aleinu, I won't even mention child porn.

I guess what I am trying to convey is that I feel that the term "addict" is a way out of a certain responsibility. Once it has become an addiction, then one's responsibilty is reduced aswell as the consequences of this kind of addiction. Is the person Chas V'esholom abusing or using someone else to feed his "addiction"?

Even though I have strong feelings about this whole subject, I would however like to commend all of you who write here, for confronting your problem, and more so, of being aware of its enormity.

"helpushelpthem" I urge you to talk to a proffesional to talk about your spouse, and find the help you both need.

"Waiting" I completely agree with you, when you say that the "addict" has to want to be helped, because otherwise dont you think that his addiction could unwittingly turn into abuse?

debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/9/06 4:35 PM
User is offline

Debbi, porn is an addiction. I had 4 friends that died from porn addiction. It became not enough to fill their addiction and went to worse things to fill their void. 2 of them died of aids and 2 died from commiting suicide after losing their family and their job from this addiction. THIS IS A SERIOUS ADDICTION!!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

5/9/06 6:54 PM
User is offline

Hi Lvshtygn,

I am truly sorry for the suffering and death of your friends. It is a terrible and tragic trauma to bear.
I am not under the illusion that this problem does not have dire consequences. In fact just the opposite is true. It causes destruction to the sufferer and pain and anguish to friends and family alike.

I know this first hand.
I was married to a porn addict.
I suffered terrible Sxual abuse during the 18mths I was married.
My ex husband would watch pornographic films which were full of violence and humiliation, after which he would return home and act out what he had seen.

I was the pawn in this horrible [crime] situation.
Would you tell me then that his was a mere addiction?
Dont you think he ought to bear some responsibilty?

I am not here to blame, I just want to understand why people feel a lack of responsibilty. Or why this problem is so misunderstood and why it is allowed to be swept under the rug, as though it is quite harmless?

debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/9/06 8:01 PM
User is offline

Debbi, I don't know where you got the idea that by calling it an addiction, we are sweeping it under the rug. Addiction just means you would like to stop but can't. He may have done horrible things and there is no excuse. He needs to deal with his addiction properly and figure out why he needs that "out" so badly. This addiction stays with a person for the rest of their life. There comes a time with a lot of hard work and giving yourself over to the SA group that it will be under control. The minute an addict starts telling himself that he is healed and doesn't need the program, that is when they end up like my friends. We didn't ask Hashem to give us this addiction. Hashem gave it to us for a reason and I believe it was to get closer to him. I pray to Hashem 20 times a day to get me out of different situations that I find myself in. He is a power greater then all of us and he is the only one that can take it away. We just need to believe that he is always here for us no matter what we may do.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



waiting
Junior Supporter

Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2006

5/9/06 10:22 PM
User is offline

To Debi and all those wishing to understand the nature of this addiction,

I too struggled with trying to make sense of a human being who "met his needs" through hurting someone else. I found the book "Don't Call It Love" to be very informative on this subject of s-- addiction. Yes, that is what it is; a sad, dangerous, destructive, all-consuming addiction.

I fing it very heartening that this subject is getting much needed exposure, as I view this awareness as the first much needed step in helping to heal from these afflictions.



Edited: 5/9/06 at 10:23 PM by waiting
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/9/06 11:30 PM
User is offline

I typed Define: addiction in Google search, and the definitions ranged from "uncontrolable" to "difficult to control."

So it may be possible for an addict to stop (albeit very difficult).
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

5/10/06 8:56 AM
User is offline

I didn't mean that you or anyone of the people expressing themselves on this forum are sweeping it under the rug.
Obviously you are not, since you are reaching out here.
Its the others. Those who do not seek the help and support as all of you are. Its those Rabbonim, and Shadchonim who will look the other way, and ignore troubling signs on a prospective Shidduch.

Those are the people I point my finger at.
The ones who are in a position to help the sufferer and consequently avoid the abuse which I and countless others have suffered and still suffer today.

Thanks Gad for your definition. It certainly clarifies things.
Perhaps because I have suffered so very much at the hands of this addiction, I feel that the word "addiction" seems too tame. But the truth is, an addiction is what it is, no matter what kind.

Waiting thanks for the book recomendation.

debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/10/06 10:45 AM
User is offline

Debbi,

You are right! One of the biggest problems with any addiction is the ability to use it as an excuse. I do such and such because I am an addict. Whoever hides behind their addiction is heading for a downward spiral. It is those who can admit that they have the addiction and want to stop but cannot and WORK on themselves and come to any means to stop what they are doing.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



frumtherapist
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2005

5/10/06 4:36 PM
User is offline

Firstly, I truly hope that anyone who is exposed to the hurt, pain, and destructiveness of addiction is reading this thread...this dialogue goes to the very core of understanding addiction in general, and not just s.. addiction.

Many people, both addicts and significant loved ones of addicts, struggle with the label of "addict". Debbi is right - there are definitely people who will attempt to hide behind the "addiction is a disease" idea as a way of absolving themselves of responsibility. However, for most people who are in recovery, the term "addict in recovery" is a very powerful means of reinforcing and empowering his/her efforts in the recovery process. The development of addiction is a very real phenomenon that has almost no exact parallel in the medical field. I guess a similar parallel might be to a person who is (probably unknowingly) predisposed to Diabetes, and through years of unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical exercise, develops Diabetes. Addiction is defined as a behavior or series of behaviors that a person must "feed" to themselves for a period of time in which a "dependency" develops - to the point where despite suffering negative consequences as a direct result of these behaviors, persists in them. It is truly difficult and painful for the family and loved ones who suffer from addiction to grapple with these issues in an effort to understand and heal.

Lastly, an additional IMPORTANT point to mention: if an addict comes home to his wife and behaves abusively, in and/or out of the bedroom, he is an ABUSER and an addict. Addiction in and of itself does not = abusiveness. There is definitely a corrolation between the two, but one does NOT cause the other. I have treated MANY addicts, some abusive, and some the furthest from it. May we never (again, for some of us,) know the personal pain and anguish caused by addiction.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



waiting
Junior Supporter

Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2006

5/10/06 10:34 PM
User is offline

Thank you FrumTherapist.

I often tend to forget the last point which you made (why?). A s-- addict is not the same as a s-- offender (predator). I am aware that the treatment is different and that many of the thought processes may be different.

I believe that this forgetfulness may be part of the logic which I try to use to explain it all to myself.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gyroscope
Junior Supporter

Posts: 8
Joined: May 2006

5/11/06 7:26 PM
User is offline

luvshtygen --

I have this addiction, and I can see how helpful a support group would be to me. I truly feel trapped by it. I never thought of it as an addiction -- I always refered to it as my yetzer hara. It feels like the beginning of liberation to call it an addiction.

Are these support groups composed of frum people? I can't help thinking that I'd be too embarassed to come to one of these groups and possibly see people that I know. Also, how do the groups keep people from getting "worked up" when hearing about what other people do? And how do they prevent people from picking up new addictions (or dimensions to existing ones) from hearing what other people do?

I really appreciate your honesty and forthrightness. It makes me feel not so alone. I hope you are doing better.

-- gyroscope


Edited: 5/12/06 at 11:46 AM by gyroscope
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



frumtherapist
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2005

5/12/06 9:45 AM
User is offline

You asked some great questions. I commend you for what seems to be serious contemplation about "doing something" real about a problem you think you have.
I'd like to make several recommendations. Try to see a frum addictions therapist. He/She would help you navigate the recovery issues you are raising more easily.
There are several non-"official" 12 Step meetings for frum people with these issues. The best way to be connected to them would be to begin attending SA (S..aholics Anonymous) meetings in the frum-populated NY area...you will be with other frum people, as well as non-frum and non-Jewish. All you need to do is ask people, before and after the meeting, for contact information about support groups, meetings, and individuals that can help you with your recovery.
It is VERY normal that in the beginning stages of recovery a person can get "worked up" by hearing other people's stories. This is why it is so important to not only go to meetings, but to ask for a sponsor as soon as possible, and also work with a therapist, if feasible. They will help you understand your reactions, and help you develop the tools you need to "work your program".
Hatzlacha.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



4702125952
Supporter

Posts: 137
Joined: Feb 2006

5/12/06 2:01 PM
User is offline

Hi,

There is an excellent book called 7Tools to Beat Addiction by Stanton Peele. He documents that it is possible to stop addictions without 'support groups' (although he doesn't knock them--they can be helpful). He focuses on motivation and values.

 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



frumtherapist
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2005

5/13/06 10:13 PM
User is offline

Stanton Peele was my professor and I know him well. He also has a very informative website. He does at times knock 12-Step programming, so take what you need from his writings - he does have a lot of important ideas to offer.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/13/06 10:23 PM
User is offline

As far as beating the addiction without the SA support groups, forget about it. I am talking from experience. There is no way to kick this addiction other than joining SA. Trust me, I have tried everything. As far as being afraid of who you will meet at these meetings and possibly seeing someone you know, that is actually the best feeling in the world. To see someone that you know that has the same problems as you and wants to work at them. Anyone that is in those rooms is on the same team. We all know what we have and all want to work on it. I guarantee that your secret will be safe with anyone you meet. I am looking for a meeting in your area that might work for you. If you are ever in the New York area please give me a shout and I will be glad to take you to one of mine.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gyroscope
Junior Supporter

Posts: 8
Joined: May 2006

5/15/06 8:28 AM
User is offline

Thanks for your insight, reassurance, and support. You are strengthening my existing conviction that a support group is a "must" for me.

I suspect that there are often other issues underlying this addition -- I know there are with me. Do the groups or the 12-step process or both provide an opportunity for addressing these other issues? It's very hard to imagine myself being successful if I attempt to work on this addiction as if in a void.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



luvshtygen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 14
Joined: May 2006

5/15/06 9:59 PM
User is offline

Part of the 12 steps is going through your charachter defects and working through them. I have a contact for you in your area and you can go with him to his support group. I will be in touch with you.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



buddy
Junior Supporter

Posts: 3
Joined: May 2006

5/27/06 11:44 PM
User is offline

i have a problem, i played with 10 year old girls, and watched pornogrophy on the internet, how do i get help ?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/28/06 7:48 PM
User is offline

While waiting for the experts to get back to you, I would offer the following in the spirit of finding humor in sorrows (a Jewish tradition) to try to cheer you up a bit. Also, there is a bit of good advice in it, though not always applicable to everyone.

Someone calls up his Rabbi frantically and says: "I'm alone in my office with two secretaries. What should I do?"
The Rabbi answers: "In the meantime, don't do anything."

Seriously though, I hope you are able to solve everything in the best way. And as it says "Teshua brov yoeitz" (alot of advice helps), I'm sure that the advice of the experts on this site will be helpful.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



buddy
Junior Supporter

Posts: 3
Joined: May 2006

5/28/06 8:22 PM
User is offline

did anyone here ever watch pornogrophy on the internet ?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



silent
Supporter

Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2005

5/29/06 11:49 PM
User is offline

I have been waiting and watching for someone to find the courage, the strength and the clarity to respond to your post. I have none of the above, but I feel you deserve a response nonetheless.

I can only imagine that you have been checking this message board regularly after opening yoursefl up like that, "confessing", and searching.

Well, first of all, cudos to you for recognizing that you may have a problem which needs to be addressed. There are definitely others out there with your experiences, as there are programs which specialize in these types of things (whether its an addiction program or perhaps an offender program - you mentioned something in this regard-?).

You need to search out an individual or a program that understands and specializes in your specific issues. You seem to realize that this is a problem, so if in your search for the right help you are not taken seriously as to your concerns or problems, move on. It can take time to find the right person or program. Good for you for beginning the process!

This is a serious matter, but there is hope ahead! With recognition, a strong ratzon and help from professionals you have a good chance of being freed from your thoughts, pulls, desires, confusions or whatever it is.

I'm sorry that I don't have any specific information to provide for you. Perhaps there are others out there that know of more specific info on help for you.

Please continue to post, and let us know how you are doing.
Hatzlachah Rabbah in this endeavor.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



silent
Supporter

Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2005

6/1/06 12:53 AM
User is offline

Buddy,

Are you there? Are your questions intended to feel out your audience or are you seriously looking for help, or perhaps both? Can you let us know how you are doing and if you have made any headway in your search?

I have many questions which I would like to ask you, I am seriously interested in your answers. This topic is of great interest to me and I would like to understand more. Are you still on the board?

Waiting to hear from you-
Silent
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



frumtherapist
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2005

6/1/06 10:17 AM
User is offline

Buddy - pedophilia and s.. addiction are often (and not always) intertwined. There is only one RELIABLE way to ascertain and understand your own specific issues and challenges: seek a consultation with a therapist who is an expert in treating s..abuse / pedophilia issues. Believe it or not, there are several frum therapists out there who are compassionate, professional, true experts in this field. You can PM me if you like for a specific referral. If there are s..addiction-related issues as well, they can then make appropriate recomendations and referrals for you.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

6/6/06 9:45 AM
User is offline

Buddy.

What exactly do you want?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Ma
Junior Supporter

Posts: 5
Joined: Jun 2006

6/11/06 11:39 PM
User is offline

Help! I think my H has a S addiction. What should I do?


Edited: 6/11/06 at 11:40 PM by Ma
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

6/11/06 11:44 PM
User is offline

Maybe try to bring him to a therapist.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Ma
Junior Supporter

Posts: 5
Joined: Jun 2006

6/11/06 11:53 PM
User is offline

How do I do that? I guess I should first confront him, right? I'm so confused right now I don't know what to do. Do you mean couples therapy or a therapist just for him?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

6/11/06 11:57 PM
User is offline

Maybe you should ask a therapist, perhaps a psychiatrist, what to do.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

6/12/06 12:04 AM
User is offline

You could try posting your question to Dr Lynn or Dr. Price (or both).
(They are listed near the bottom of the mental health forum).

But it may be quicker (and able to discuss things better) if you call a therapist and discuss it. You can also contact Relief for the name of a therapist who has experience with this..
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



4702125952
Supporter

Posts: 137
Joined: Feb 2006

6/12/06 7:04 PM
User is offline

I hope you get help fast. It's one thing to watch pornography it's quite another to "play" with young girls.

You are harming others-and that must stop.

Get help immediately.

I also find the follow up 'humor' offensive. There is nothing the least bit humorous about molesting young girls and it cannot be remotely compared with 'two young secretaries'...
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

6/13/06 12:32 AM
User is offline

I'm sorry that you were offended by the humor.

It was not meant to offend. It was meant to open a channel of communication, and to emphasize that the action must stop.

Sometimes yelling at someone can help, but sometimes it just pushes the person away. A warm approach can sometimes have the desired affect.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

6/13/06 12:34 PM
User is offline

Buddy wasn't looking for help, I think he was trying to find more ways to offend.
And there is NO room for humour when it comes to molestation.
None whatsoever!
I had better stop here, before I begin to vent my rage at molesters in general.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

Pages: [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 >> Next ]
View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Addiction < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.