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TOPIC TITLE: Bi Polar
Created On 1/9/05 1:50 AM
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Gotmuzic
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1/9/05 1:50 AM
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I wanted to know if anyone can share any personal experiences with bi polar. i am bipolar and am almost there, back to where i need to be to live a happy life. i want to know if there are any people out there who have successfully dealt with bi polar and are now living produtive lives.


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motcha
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I dealt with bipolar so well they aren't sure if I was ever bipolar! The original one time manic experience was probably a reaction to Prozak. Bipolar is very controllable depending on the case.
 
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Gotmuzic
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tell me more about you. what happend? do you have a good dr? i actualy have an appointment tonight to get a second opinion. he think i might be misdiagnosed but i must get a second opinion because its been 6 months. while i have improved im still not completely better yet and its frustrating. anyway talk to you soon. whats your name?


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motcha
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I hate to say it but six months can be a short time. If you have been improving in six months thats wonderful. To be "completely better" takes time as frustrating as that can be. I like my psychiatrist. I assume that when you doctor that is what you are refering to. Some call them pdocs for short. How are you sleeping? What meds are you taking? What are your symptoms? Also, I hope you are in therapy. How is that going?


Edited: 1/10/05 at 1:37 PM by motcha
 
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take it easy
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1/11/05 1:21 PM
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there is a support group for parents with kids of bi polar by "MASK" its once a week in boro park good luck
 
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helping hand
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while we encourage discussion we would really appreciate that medication treatments are not being discussed and medications should only be taken as prescribed by YOUR physician


Edited: 1/11/05 at 2:31 PM by helping hand
 
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motcha
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Why can't medication be discussed? Obviously, medication should only be taken as prescribed by your physician. It is illegal to take prescription medication any other way. It is also almost impossible. I don't have access to illegal meds. You'd have to be crazy to do that.
I think it is important that we be able to discuss medication. This way, if someone has a side affect they can ask others if they have had similar experiences.
A psychiatrist told me that he believes an educated consumer is the best customer. Our discussion of medication is part of that process.
Also, it is not enough for pdocs to dole out meds to us as unquestioning patients. The days of the obediant patient are over in America. We need to have a voice as the community of mental health patients too. Right now, frum therapists have a voice. They have, for example, organizations like Nefesh. But because we are stigmitised and ashamed of whom we are, we the sufferers have no voice. Discussing our meds and treatments is part of our voice.
of course it goes without saying that the psychiatrist has the final say. I have such hopes for this discussion group. I hope we aren't censored (except halachikly, of course.)
Helping hand, are you a moderator?
 
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BRBS
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1/19/05 12:32 AM
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What did you mean by how r u sleeping? Is that a side effect of meds?


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Besides that Mrs. Lincoln how was the play?
 
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motcha
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Both depression, and the manic part of bipolar can affect sleep. In fact, serious lack of sleep (say missing entire nights) can actually bring about manic symptoms. Adaquet sleep is important.
 
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lookinforhelp
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Are you serious Motcha? Where did you ever hear that? I have done lots of research about depression and never have I seen it written that lack of sleep (me, insomnia? never!!) can bring about manic symptoms! Don't scare me now, I have enough on my mind!
 
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motcha
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The following is a quote from http://bipolar.about.com/cs/sleep/a/0002_mood_sleep.htm
"What may surprise you is that reduced sleep isn't just a symptom of mania - a short night can actually precipitate manic and hypomanic episodes." I suggest you see the rest of the article there.
However, lookingforhelp, you need not worry. Sleep deprivation does not make a person bipolar. Rather, in people who are bipolar, sleep deprivation can cause the bipolar symptoms to manifest itself. See the difference? ( I happen to know my stuff when it comes to depression and bipolar :-) )
 
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lookinforhelp
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1/20/05 7:09 PM
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Ok, now I chap... Thanks for the clarification.
 
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motcha
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my head is so overwhelmed. I have to prepare lesson plans and I keep hearing them in my head. This is rough.
 
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lookinforhelp
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Oh yeah, how's the new job going?
 
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motcha
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Its good. Thanks for asking. Its just that when I do intence reading for a while my head beginins to repeat it obsesively.
 
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lookinforhelp
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That doesn't sound too good Motcha! Maybe after you do your preparing you should do something to chill out?
 
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motcha
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You are right. It doesn't sound too good. But I did a couple of things to deal with it. I dropped a second college course I was taking. Now I am only taking one college course and less pressure. I also dropped a tutoring job I had and replaced it with a chavrusa on my block as opposed to having to walk like 10 minutes each way to learn. Also, now I am not required to preparte for my chavrusa because I am not getting paid to teach him. And, thirdly, after doing this for two weeks now my head is no longer obsessing. It is in the begining of a new thing that took getting used to that was the challenge. Now I am fine. See, mental health is like ridding a horse. You learn how to hold on after a while. I am proud that I new to reduce my stress and I have handled the last two weeks wonderfully. My therapy helped too.
 
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hopingforthebest
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Tell me motcha r u finding that having a chavrusah is helping you not just spirutaly but in feeling better mentaly and emotionaly as well? and what else can u recommend besides all the essential things such as therapy support and medication

 
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motcha
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The truth is that the chavrusa question is complex. On one hand, the human involvement is good but on the other hand, it is an extra pressure when I sometimes might need the time to prepare my lesson plans. I am taking the chavrusa because I feel it is just not right to not learn.
Another issue I have often had is that I have found the noise/kol Tora of a bais medrash to be overstimulating. I think this is a problem many people with mental health problems may experience but I am not really sure. I know that many times in the past I wanted to learn with my friends but I couldn't because of the noise level. In my current set up I will be learning in a quiet local shtibel.
What can I recomend besides the usual therapy etc?
It depends where you are coming from. I am coming from a yeshivish background which did not encourage interests outside of learning. I found that for me, just doing fun things can help. you have to get up in the morning and ask yourself, what would I really enjoy doin g today that would be fun and not just an obligation. Perhaps it is bowling, browsing Barnes and Nobles, biking, reading a book or whatever. The truth is that this can be acomplished within the realm of learning too. I find I like to read interesting sforim like contemporary Tora journals dealing with say, the bug issue (I saw such a journal yesterday but I can't afford to buy them now) or learning an interesting minchas Chinuch as opposed to a "regular" gemara.
I'm not involved in chessed orginisations but I would not be surprised if vollunteering for Tomchay Shabbos, for example, once a week, wouldn't help ones mood. Helping others really can make you feel better. I did tutoring for the last year and a half and it helped me. Feeling usefull and having a purpose is important in battling depression.
Then again, this can be a catch 22. You can't tutor someone if you are very depressed. Thats why you need therapy, meds, etc at the same time.
Hope this all comes out good as I am writting it off the top of my head. (Thats my lack of self esteem talking hehehe)
 
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hopingforthebest
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Actually you can pat yourself on the back, you answered quite well
 
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motcha
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Thanks. There is an important thing I need to add. It is very important to have a structure to ones day. Somewtimes when you are depressed you can feel like lieing in bed a whole day, but having a structured day can help you deal with that. In the past I have specifically taken a college class on Sunday mornings at 9 AM because I knew it would get me out of bed. It was a required class in English Literature which was not bad. taking it then p[revented me from sleeping untill noon on Sundays.
i'll be honest. I recently missed Shabbos morning davening for a few months in a row. Last week I got a chavrusa for after Davening Shabbos morning and it helped me get up. Knowing that I would be learning with someone I like gave me an extra impetus to get up and removed some of my loneliness.
 
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lookinforhelp
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I totally know what you mean! When I was originally very, very depressed, I had zero interest in getting out of bed in the morning, doing homework, eating ect'. But the one thing I had no choice about- was going to work! I would get up in the morning, go to work, go to school then come home at like 5 or 6pm and go to sleep for the night! But at least I was at of the house for those hour during the day, otherwise I mamash wouldn't have budged from my bedroom for weeks and weeks...
 
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lookinforhelp
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By the way Motcha... Kol hakavod on recognizing your problem and being able to work it out so well!!

 
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Torsalicious613
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hello, my name is torsalicious613, and i've got bpd. duh, or i wouldn't be here, right? anyway, i've been bp for about seven years now, since i was 14. it's been hard but i'm getting better. i take 250 mg of lithium, 450 mg of depakote, 10 mg of zyprexa, an atavan, and a bc pill. after many years of struggling, they have helped me immensly, but have put on weight gain, especially the zyprexa. but that's the one that really worked for me. go figure. anyway, i'm going to college now, studying to be a frum fashion designer it's fun. i've got such a good doc, don't know if he wants me to say his name or not, so i won't, but i'll ask him about it. my sleep is great, the atavan's working. i don't know how this site will let me list all of these medications, but i feel it's important because it can help other people. of course, everyone, talk to your doc before starting any medication, these worked for me, but i don't know if they will work for you. everyone's different. if anyone's taken these medications and they've worked for them, please let me know, i will be happy to see i have a partner in crime (hardly!) also, i'm not completely better yet, please someone, post a reply if you are well on the way to recovery, it will be inspiring to me and many others, i'm sure. bye for now. p.s. how do you deal with others who know you have pbd (bipolar disorder)?.. i'm curious what everyone has to say....


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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motcha
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Hi,
I took 1200 mg of Depakote years back. It was terrible. It gave me tremors and didn't work. But now baruch Hashem I'm on meds that work and I'm fine. Are you aware of this new time released Depakote? Ask your doctor about it. I hear its better than regular Depakote.
I gained weight too. 30 lb on Lithium. That didn't work too lol. i am probably not really bipolar. I just had one episode but it was probably a reaction top Prozak. But being through it I understand you. Also, it took like 9 years to consider I am not bp. Labels dont matter. Getting better does. And I have depression which is simmilar to you.
Happy to hear your in school for design. You must be artistic. Thats impressive.
I have recovered from bp and I wanted to let you know that. I too went sleepless nights and now I sleep great just like you mentioned how your sleep got better. Hang in there. You will triumph over your bp challange and will serve as an inspiration for others.
Motcha
 
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Torsalicious613
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Thank you, Motcha. I am, just to let you know, as far as I know, not depressed. How did you get to that conclusion? When I was taking depakote at higher doses about 5 years ago, i too devellloped tremors, and had to go on cogentin. I'm curious, what meds are you on now? From what you're saying, they seem to be working so well! Could you let me in on your secret (and the rest of us)? I think it's very inspirational to know that you do not consider yourself bipolar anymore, even if you really are just a little bit, or aren't at all. In my opinion, convincing yourself you don't have the disorder is one step closer to not having it. (of course at the same time, you have to bite the bullet and take your meds, even if you think nothing's wrong.) It's hard to do both at the same time, but it's very inspirational that someone like you went through the whole process and came out the other side (alive and well!) to talk about it. Also, Motcha, I'm sorry if I'm offending you by suggesting you still have bipolar disorder, but I find it incredibly unbelievable it can just vanish. In my case, at least. I've had it for 9 years and it's a pest that's almost gone (I hope.) I see the light at the end of the tunnel at times, but at others it seems so dark. (Could this be the depression part you're referring to?) Is it normal to feel depressed on the road to recovery from bipolar disorder (I'm asking not just Motcha.) Also, I'm struggling with figuring out whether it was a genetic thing, my "psychotic" (really, just "manic") episode (which itself was singular and very short), or if it was environmental. I'm now, going to bring up something a lot of us probably struggle with (as it is a common symptom of the illness): guilt. I am struggling with the fact that maybe I caused it. But if I did, how could I manifest all the correct symptoms of bipolar disorder from my imagination. Also, if I did "construct" this illness, why would I do so? Create more hardships in my life than nessecary? That doesn't make sense. We could all say whatever ills are manifested in our lives are genetic, or environmental, or both. But bipolar disorder is more catchy (iffy) because of the nature of the disease. It is a "mental disorder." Therefore, aren't abnormal thought patterns brought up to mind? I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling, something I do a lot of, but does it really matter if you "cause" an illness or not? The point is, you have it, and you're trying to get rid of it. That's all that (should) count(s) anyway, right?


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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Is anyone there? Motcha, you there? Okay, where'd everybody go? Did I say something wierd? If i did I thouroughly apoligize. That really was not my intent.

Torsalicious613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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motcha
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No. Not at all. I didn't reply because I need to be "mesader' my thoughts and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I agree with what you wrote.
I'll be back lol.
 
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motcha
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.> I'm curious, what meds are you on now? From what you're saying, they seem to be working so well!
I take klonopan, celxa, buspar, and Trileptal. I think Trileptal has helped me the most.
Ø I'm sorry if I'm offending you by suggesting you still have bipolar disorder, but I find it incredibly unbelievable it can just vanish.
Ø You are right. I can’t vanish. In my case, the question is if I ever was bp because my mania happened only once and imediatelty after taking my first Prozak. If it was medically induced then I’m not technically bipolar. However, I am beginning to think that maybe sometimes bipolar symptoms go away after a long time. I don’t know. I’m not a dr. Everyone agrees one has the potential to live a full life with bipolar in many cases.
Ø Is it normal to feel depressed on the road to recovery from bipolar disorder (I'm asking not just Motcha.)
Ø Of course its normal. You are dealing with a tough thing.
Ø Guilt. I am struggling with the fact that maybe I caused it. But if I did, how could I manifest all the correct symptoms of bipolar disorder from my imagination. Also, if I did "construct" this illness, why would I do so? Create more hardships in my life than nessecary? That doesn't make sense. We could all say whatever ills are manifested in our lives are genetic, or environmental, or both. But bipolar disorder is more catchy (iffy) because of the nature of the disease. It is a "mental disorder." Therefore, aren't abnormal thought patterns brought up to mind? I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling, something I do a lot of, but does it really matter if you "cause" an illness or not? The point is, you have it, and you're trying to get rid of it. That's all that (should) count(s) anyway, right?
Ø You definitely didn’t cause your bipolar. You can’t do that I don’t think. And I too like you used to imagine if I was making it up. My depression almost had an unrealness to it like I wasn’t sure if I really was depressed. Maybe that came from my mood fluctuations. Guilt is a symptom of depression. That’s what my therapist told me ten years ago. I used to have terrible guilt. Torsalicious613, perhaps deal with the guilt in therapy but realize your not responsible for your illness just like your not responsible if you chas vasholom get an earache.
I feel overwhelmed from work. That’s why it took so long for me to reply. Its 9;30 Pm. Maybe I’ll get some relaxation now.
Torsalicious613 and everyone- have a good Shabbos.
 
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ryg
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Hi,
I have a 17 yaer old with bipolar, and ,OCD is there a support group from Mask for out-of -towners?
thanks.
 
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ryg
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my son is now 17 years old, he was diagnosed 1 year ago with BPD & OCD he had a major manic event that landed him in hospital for 3 weeks , now 1 year later he is in school sleeping throuh the night and has his BPD under control yet still struggling with the OCD,
he is on, 1000 Depekote, 300 serequal, 150 luvox, etc.. what i see is with medication there is help, hang in there it has been a yaer of hell for us his parents, he was a yeshivah bochur out of town he is now in a non jewish special high school.. we pray to hashem that he gets better so will you.
 
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ryg
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is there a frum summer camp for teen ages with BPD & OCD with a learnng disability?
what do I do with my frum boy who spends a whole year now becouse of his disorders in a non-Jewish special high school for the summer?

is there any support groups out there for parents of teen ages BPD ?

tahnsk
 
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motcha
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Gee. I feel for you and wish I new what to say. Call MASK I guess. There is a summer camp for kids at risj I think. I'm not sure if it is called camp extreme. Again, call MASK. I wish you hatzlacha.
 
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lookinforhelp
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Camp Extreme I believe, is for kids at risk and kids with drug/alcohol/addiction problems!
 
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hisbonenus
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For those who were worried about getting married- my husband is bipolar, I knew before I got married.

He found the right cocktail of meds, so he's B"H stable. He goes to his psychiatrist monthly, and is very normal (as if anyone is normal).

I was worried about it before we got married, but B"H it's not a major issue. When he goes a bit off-balance, either he notices or I notice, and we get the meds adjusted. It's almost funny, the only time I've ever seen him "mean" was when he was manic!

I'm very happy I married him, and now VERY annoyed at the unfair stigma attached to bipolar.

As mentioned, it's HIGHLY treatable, can be very well controlled, is entirely physical (chemical imbalance) and not psychosomatic, and is relatively commonplace.
 
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lookinforhelp
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Kol hakavod to you Hisbonenus!
If only everyone was as understanding!!
 
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hisbonenus
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Some of us are- you don't have to have bipolar to be understanding!

Seriously, for those on the Shidduch scene, I'd be very happy to speak to anyone who needs more info from a spouse's perspective. Remind the Shadchan that YOU are not bipolar, you are your Maalos- bipolar is a separate issue. It will need to be brought up, but the right person will be able to handle it.
 
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Shulamit
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Hisbonenous,

Thank you for your words of inspiration. I am dating someone seriously, and he recently revealed to me that he is bipolar. I'm wondering if you would be willing to speak or exchange email with me outside of the forum, as you can probably understand my situation and dilemma. Please let me know, and thanks again.
 
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Torsalicious613
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hello, shulamit. i am, yes, bipolar. life is very hard for me. but yes, i am seeing someone now too. i have recently told him i was bipolar, although being advised against it by my parents. they said it would "ruin the rtelationship" and "not let anything develop", but i couldn't hold it in anymore. besides, i felt i had to be honest. i don't know what to do. what do you think, shulamis? you're on the other end.. maybe i could get some advice from you, and give you some advice from my end..warm regards..

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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hisbonenus
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Shulamit, I've sent you a private message with contact info.
I hope I can be of help!
 
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Shulamit
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Hi Torsa,

i think whats most important is for both parties to have a mentor or a rav (not parents!) to consult with about these types of questions (like when to tell someone). I'm learning that everybody has some kind of "skeleton in the closet", and the right person will accept you exactly as you are. Hope this helps.
 
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Torsalicious613
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thank you, shulamit. it does.

torsalicious613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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hisboneus-- could i talk to you privately? i have some questions about dating a "normal" person, being bipolar myself, and would like to know what you think on the other end. it's a bit of a touchy subject for me, so you can see why i decided to ask you privately. shulamis, thanks for the hint: i didn't even know we could talk to people privately on this thing!

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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know
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i am bpd almost 30 years i was diagnosed 4 years ago after being married secont time also to bpd wife and i am more stable but the dr. say that beside dr and theropy you need frined love and couch but no one understand because they dont see and we have no orgnasation or community support what a shame so i keep my pain inside
btw like some bipolar i am an outstanding guinius in almost every field i invent i can get in few weeks what takes for others years thanks to the bipolar
 
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motcha
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3/31/05 12:15 AM
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What have you invented?
You mention that you keep your pain inside due to lack of community support. Why not go to a therapist with whome you can share your pain?
I am lonely too. All my friends are married. Also I spend my day working as a teacher. In the morning I student teach public school. In the afternoon I teach yeshiva. At night I prepare lessons. I can go days without real interaction with friends. And many of my friends are in kollel so they can't relate to my work and interests. Its upsetting. I get so jelouse when I get car rides with co workers who are constantly calling a million friends on their cell phone. I am such a nice guy. I deserve better.


Edited: 3/31/05 at 12:16 AM by motcha
 
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hisbonenus
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3/31/05 12:21 AM
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[Side note- Torsalicious- I sent you a private message with contact info, did you get it?]
 
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Torsalicious613
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3/31/05 6:42 PM
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motcha and know, i agree with both of you. know, i see how i can go on creative binges too and accomplish things sooner that other people can't. in a strange way, it's a gift, but it comes with it's downsides. motcha, i too am lonely and feel i deserve better. i too am "misunderstood". i wish more people could know more about this disease. then we'd be liviung in a little bit of a better world, doin't you think?

tors


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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3/31/05 6:45 PM
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hi, hisboneus,

i got your message, thank you. but how do i send you one?

tors


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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hisbonenus
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3/31/05 7:24 PM
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See the little picture of a lock in the top right corner of every post? Click on the one in my post to send me a private message.

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Motcha and Torsalicious613, it's true. Those with bipolar are often gifted tremendously in many areas. I see with my husband- he's a genius, KA"H. Lots of the famous writers and leaders have bipolar. I can't wish it as a gift on anyone, but if you have it, recognize your strengths and remember- Hashem only gives us what we can handle!
 
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lookinforhelp
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3/31/05 7:29 PM
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Motcha, you sound so down!!!
I have the same thing... all my friends are married and I have nobody left to talk to! My poor Rav, I call him harrassing him every day b/c where else am I supposed to vent? My friend called me tonite that her babysitter canceled and she HAS to go to this wedding... since I'm not doing anything could I come babysit for her? It was really really wierd! I have never before babysat for any of my friends kids... Boy am I getting old and not going anywhere...
 
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