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TOPIC TITLE: Bi Polar
Created On 1/9/05 1:50 AM
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motcha
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3/31/05 11:21 PM
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lookinforhelp and Torsalicious613,
Thanks for your kind words.
Motcha
 
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know
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4/1/05 1:16 AM
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hi mutcha
as many know that therapy is not enough with one hour a week you need it but you never reach a goal
 
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motcha
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4/1/05 1:42 PM
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You are right. Therapy is not enough and its not a replacement for friends. But- it does do something. My therapy definitely helps me feel less lonely. And therapy has helped me reach my goals.
Loneliness update lol: I had a great conversation with a friend on the phone last night. See, a lot of my friends are still learning so I as a person who works sometimes doesn't have common things to talk about. Last night on the phone I told my friend who is in college how he can use Lexis Nexus (its a database) to get material for his college papers... We are both doing the same things so we could relate better.
 
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Torsalicious613
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i totally hear you, lookin for help! i gtg it's shabbos soon, but i hear ya! don't worry, no one's ever too old for improvement! you gotta stick up for yourself more. make yourself heard!

good shabbos all!

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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did you guys get my sympathy message?

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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motcha
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4/2/05 9:30 PM
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Which one? I thanked you above
 
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know
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4/2/05 11:45 PM
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i got in fightes with family and friends and they dont understand me and vise versus and ones a week complained to my therapist and he gave me right
but now after 30 years i found one close friend who start to understand me
thanks god
 
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Torsalicious613
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4/5/05 5:48 PM
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wasn't there someone here who said they had bpd and their whole family had a history of it, but that their family was very smart? i loved that message, and i thought i saw it written here, on this website. who was it? know, was it you? if so, could you tell me where that message is so i can find it and read it again? very inspirational, btw. we may be loonies/nuts, but we're really really smart nuts.

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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p.s. guys: i found out where that cool thing i saw was. know, it wasn't you, sorry for the confusion. guys, check out "sister with bipolar" section. tons of cool stuff. much more loaded and fun to read, in my opinion (being a sister with bipolar disorder myself, duh..) i feel i can relate to it a lot. once i find out the girl's name (or alias, i should say), who wrote it, i'll let you know, so you can go straight to her. btw, motcha, i feel i can really identify with you, you sound young, like me. this girl, motcha, i can identify too with, she sounds young like us. sorry if it sounds like i'm singling out anyone here who has bpd who is older, or who knows someone with bpd. i just feel i have a special connection with motcha and this other girl, because we are all young, dealling with many of the same basic things/problems in our life at this point in time. so basically, no one be offended. it's not about you: it's about us, that i'm writing about right now. tty all later. gotta go catch a train.

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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btw, guys the "girl" was "macaroon fan", who i call "maccarooni". i don't even know if she likes this or not. plus, you wanna know something else? i'm not really sure if "she" is a "girl"! she might be a guy! i'm not really sure, actually. macarooni, sorry, i'm assuming! i don't want to offend anyone! (esp. not you: i like you troo much! is it okay for me to ask if you are a boy or a girl? or am i asking you to be too specific?..anyway, i gotta go, i'm sure my train has left by now!) tty all later

tors


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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and guys, i think "bipolar" is one word. not sure, i'll find out. anyway, really gtg

torsalicious613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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know
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4/6/05 1:50 AM
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i wrote in page 1
"btw like some bipolar i am an outstanding guinius in almost every field i invent i can get in few weeks what takes for others years thanks to the bipolar"
i just wan a gold medal award from ainternational orgenazation
 
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lookinforhelp
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4/6/05 6:50 AM
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COOL!!! Mazal tov Know!! That's awesome!!
 
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Torsalicious613
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i agree. awesome, know! who says us bipolaroids can't be smart! good job! i hope you win many more-- no-- i'm sure-- you'll win many more, and be an inspiration to all of us, either with bpd or without!

p.s. by the way, everyone, i caught my train!

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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motcha
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4/6/05 9:37 PM
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Wow. I am impressed. What orginization. What did you do? Tell us all about it!
I hope your familly recognises your acomplishment.


Edited: 4/6/05 at 9:39 PM by motcha
 
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know
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4/7/05 12:45 AM
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i dont think i can discuss send me to nhhs@netzero.net
 
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Torsalicious613
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4/7/05 1:22 PM
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know, i sent you an email

torsalicious613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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4/19/05 2:17 PM
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where is everyone?

tors613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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lookinforhelp
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4/21/05 4:06 PM
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Here I am!!! Lol! Have a chag kasher vesameach everyone!! I hope it's an enjoyable, wonderful and relaxing yom tov for all!

Sincerely, LFH
 
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MacaroonFan
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4/21/05 11:24 PM
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Yup...I'm a girl, as Motcha and Torsalicious613 know by now.

To Torsalicious613:

I am quite flattered by your words. I didn't realize you felt that highly of me!

To all of those who plan on continuing their medication during Pesach(if you take any):

If you can ascertain as to the fact that your medicine contains chametz or kitniyos (if you're Ashkenazic), remember to use a plastic, non-pesachdik cup when swallowing your 'evil meds' (LOL).

To all of those on this thread:

Have a Chag Sameach/Happy Holiday/Good Yom Tov/Great Yuntiff/Healthy Passover.

- T.H.S.
 
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know
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4/22/05 12:42 AM
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Torsalicious613
did you got my answer?
 
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Torsalicious613
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nope

tors


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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lostforwords
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hi, i was diagnosed with bipolar a coupla years ago, and since then i've been in hospital twice because of it. both times were because i was manic and a bit out of control. the interesting thing about being manic, i find, is that while u feel as if everythings great, u still feel upset and out of control. altho i've only had 2 bad manic episodes, i've been depressed heaps of times. i still dont know which is worse, to be badly manic or to be really depressed. altho they are both horrible, i would say that being manic is worse because u do things that u later regret. what does everyone else reading this think?
 
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Torsalicious613
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i agree.

torsalicious613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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lookinforhelp
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Welcome LostforWords!!

I'm sorry you're suffering. I don't really know which is worse, but both manic episodes and depression are each horrible in their own way. How are you feeling today?

Refua sheleima!!

 
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lostforwords
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5/12/05 11:57 PM
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i'm ok....actually a little down and out at the moment, but it will pass. thanks for asking. how r u?
 
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lookinforhelp
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5/15/05 11:52 AM
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I'm ok today. How was your Shabbos? And why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself?
 
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Torsalicious613
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know, please tryto send that email to me again. my email address is adstern83@aol.com, or atarday83yahoo.com. see you there!

torsalicious613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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okay, that was supposed to be a private message. now everyone knows my email. great. just guys, please don't keep emailing me continuously. privacy..

torsalicious613

p.s. although i do welcome some emails from time to time-- just mostly on here and not too frequently-- i mean it's not like we're pals-- we're bipolar buddies, designed to help eachother through the hard times, not much else. at least that's my impression. am i wrong?

t.s.


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Torsalicious613
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yes, lost for words, please don't be at such a loss for words, and tell us about yourself!

torsalicious613


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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newatthis
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5/20/05 7:14 AM
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Hi, I was diagnosed with cyclothymia 6 months ago at the age of 31. Cyclothymia is a so called mild form of bi-polar disorder. With cyclothymia you go up and down several times during the day. It can drive you really crazy because you never know how you are going to feel at any givin time. It is also extreamly difficult for the people around you. It is a very chronic problem that is extreamly draining. I am on medication that has certainly taken the edge of the constant ups and downs but i find myself low and not content. I most certainly miss the good highs and i can relate to what you said about if these highs are good or bad. I think that we do experience 2 different kinds of highs. Right now i feel a little numb not having my highs. I still struggle with thoughts that invade my mind. I sometimes will have these strong impulses to for example stop covering my hair. If you knew me you would know that that is not me. I love Hashem and respect and honer all the mitzvos that he has given us. and yet these thoughts just pop into my head. I feel like im always batteling with myself the good versus evil. Thank G-D i am a strong person and good prevails but i must tell you that it is extreamly hard and very draining as well. Is anyone else finding these struggles?
 
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motcha
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What you are experiencing is very common. The hair ideas is part of your condition. It has nothing to do with yidishkait so you dont need to feel guilty. Its just a thought. hopefully your medicine and supportive therapy will help you. You sound like where I was 10 years ago. But I dont have those thoughts now and you wont either.
i know this may sound funny but cyclothymia is a relatively good diagnosis compared to full bipolar. Its less mild. You will get better. Good luck.
 
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Vulvy
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I'm new on this forum, but I had been writing on another a few months back. I was writing on the depression forum. I am diagnosed with bipolar, but at that point it had been so long since I saw the light of day that I believed that I was suffering from depression. All I saw were the lows. Then one day I tried a new doctor and he had me start taking fish oil. I saw amazing results in less then 2 weeks. At that point I felt like I was living in a fantasy and I wasn’t sure if it was real or if it was one of those manic or hypo manic periods that I hadn’t experienced in years. Those of us, who have had the highs or at least what seem to be highs relative to the lows we often go through, know that it’s a very pleasant feeling. So anyway, my energy started rising, I was being more productive and I started to smile again. But lately I have found myself in very familiar territory. The day I started feeling free of my depression, I made a pact never to take for granted a day which I do not feel depressed. So even though I have felt a little depressed lately, I know that for the last 2 months I didn’t take one day for granted and I made the most of my time.
I thought Hashem had taken me out of my misery for good. It may just be a bad week and I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling like the me I’ve come to known over the last 2 months, but if not, I stayed strong till now, so I’m not about to give in this time.
 
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ernie55B
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Vulvy-

Good to have you back! I am glad you sound much better. My pdoc. encouraged me to take fish oil a while back- unfortunately it did not do much for me. But I am really happy to hear you are getting results with it. Your attitude about not giving in to the feeling of getting down is really an inspiration. I hope you can keep it up! Please let us know.

Ernie
 
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Chonag
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Hi everybody. My name is Chonag and this is the first time I am writing into frumsupport. And I really feel I do need support. I have been married for 25 years to a man who became bipolar a few months after we got married. It was really frightening as he went so manic that he had to be sedated and electric shocked and in a mentalhome for a while. It was very scary for me, as a young newlywed. But of course they put him on lithium and he was much better. However he has always had the most vile temper, mean tongue, and vicious manner. He verbally abuses me in the most paintful and hurtful way all the time over every little thing. He looks at me with such a mean hateful face. I tell hiim that maybe if I make him so upset he should go away from me but he doesn't see that as an option. He is angry at everybody, angry at the world, and has no meaningful friends. About 18 years ago he was diagnosed with a very serious chronic liver/bile ailment which usually requires a liver transplant. But his body was too weak to take a liver transplant. Then about 4 years ago he had a massive heart attack whiile undergoing a procedure on his liver. Now last year his lungs have filled up with water and asbestos. There is no logical reason why he should still be alive as he has already outlived the prognosis for life expectancy by many many yearrs. So I am sure that part of the reason why he is so horrible is because he feels so sick and powerless and frustrated and irritable. I try to take that into consideration when he treats me so mean, but I cannot help but get very choked up and deeply hurt. He has scarred me emotionally so badly. I would never leave him as we have six children and a spiritual blessing to be man and wife from a great Rebbe. But I am really tense and stressed and nervous all the time and I just clam up my anger and keep it inside because I can't get cross back at him. It just makes things worse. So when he has his tantrums on me I just keep completely quiet as I go into a state of shock. I feel as if I will vomit.
Can anyone help give me some advice as to how to better deal with this? The main thing I do is try to be around him as little as possible and create an interesting life for myself. I have some really special friends, I go to gym which I love, I have an interesting job, I go watch movies by myself or go out for coffee by myself or go on outings with just the kids. My husband is always too tired to go out because he is too sick, but I am grateful for that because if he comes he will just get down on me and be horrible to me the whole time. And I hate it when he is mean to me in front of the kids because then they copy him and also call me names andmake fun of me. They take his example whichis so cruel.

Sorry so long, just had to get everything off my chest. Please someone out there, reply to me and help help hellp!
Chonag


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I am a 52 year old mother of 6 children, ages 9 through 23. My husband is 59 and was diagnosed l8 years ago with a rare and incurable liver disease. He has had countless side effects from hisillness and now hislungs, heart, abdomen and immune system are messed up.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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Chonag,
It is good that you are reaching out here, and I am confident that you will receive a lot of advice and comapassion from the other board members. In addition, I would recommend psychotherapy for you and/or your husband either individual and/or couples therapy. Best wishes, and welcome!
A Lynn
 
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oh brother!
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Dear Chonag,
You sound like an amazing person! My brother has Bi-polar disorder and also was diagnosed after getting married. I have seen similar outbursts towards his wife and to my mother, while he is in a Manic state. ( I obviously don't know what goes on all of the time.) Do your children know your husband's condition? Being that Bi-polar affects the whole family I personally believe that the spouse and children also should be seeing a family therapist. It is extremely important for the children and you to have a safe place to voice their feelings, fears, and questions.I have seen my brother push his limits, but he is very smart and when he sees he's gone too far, he backs off. I wonder if you can get some professional guidance as to setting down "the law" with your husband as to what is UNACCEPTABLE behavior...end of story....non negotiable! I love the way you have created strong personal friendships and a life for yourself. May Hashem bentch you and give you nachas, joy, health and strength. Is there a frum support group for spouses?


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oh brother!
 
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newatthis
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Thankyou so much for your support. This website is so important for people suffering with mental illness. Unfortunately its not like people outside of our circles understand our issues and even if they did we are all to scared to share our stories with them out of fear that it may cause us to be excomunicated. You mentioned that the hair thing was part of the illness what did you meen? I agree with you that full blown bi polar is much more severe however its not as chronic as cyclothymia. When im not on medication its constant back and forth ups and downs and its so tiring you feel like your brain is going to explode. When i was finally diagnosed it took a lot of my mind. For years my constant struggles left me always contemplating what on earth was bothering me. I would sit and think of reasons why the sudden mood change was occuring. Now i dont have to do that i know that it is because of this illness. At this point still trying to figure out the right medication when i wake up in the morning the first thought that comes to mind is "i want to die" . I get so upset with myself that i feel this way for no real reason other then my disorder. Has anyone felt like this? I also wanted to know if anyone has seen perfect results with medication or do you feel that its still a bit of a struggle regardless? Thanks again for your support it meens the world to me .
 
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ernie55B
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Hello Chonag!

Welcome to the forum! I am really sorry to hear that you have had to live like this for so many years.
While your husband's illnesses are very sad, it does not give him any excuse to treat you the way he does. Please don't buy into that for one second.
I think you need to tell him to get counseling TODAY or else you will leave him. When the great Rebbe said you will live as man and wife he meant just that. What you are experiencing is not living as man and WIFE! A husband must have derech eretz for his wife no matter how much he is suffering.
What you must also consider is what are your children learning here? It seems a safe bet to say that unless you put your foot down, they will grow up believing it is OK to treat a spouse like this (not to mention that it is ok to make fun of their mother).
It is very good that you keep yourself busy with outside interests. But I really believe you need to take a stand here. If your husband refuses to seek counseling, then you should first go by yourself and see what a professional advises you to do.

May HKB"H give you the strength to deal with all your troubles.

Ernie
 
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Chonag
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Dear AA Lynn, oh brother!, and ernie,
words cannot describe what your replies have done for me. Hashem is speaking through you and giving me a message to increase my courage and bravery to have the toughness to stand up and take charge of a very complicated situation. I have been so scared for so long of my husband, and that is not sholom bayis. The way he pierces my heart with such unnecessary visciosness is not on.
I have repeatly told him to get counseling and he has put it off with various lame excuses for years, his main excuse is that he is so much smarter than all the counselors. As if he can counsel himself or something. Well I am fed up and cannot tolerate his behaviour any longer. He changes from wolf to lamb the whole day, but mainly wolf. No matter what I do it is always not good enough. He only looks at the mistakes I make and never praises the correct things I do for him. How demoralizing. Last night when I wrote my message to the forum I was really crying real tears and it felt so good. I haven't cried for so long as I just keep going and holding everything inside.
I do have a psychiatrist and am a member of a support group so I am getting help. Why won't he? I don't think we should go together because in the past when we have he just criticizes the way I participate. How can someone be so demanding, so difficult and so cruel?
I know he feels bad afterwards and tries to make up but I am just so turned off that I cannot respond. How am I supposed to start feeling warm towards him when he has just torn me apart?
ALynn, oh brother! and ernie, you are angels. You do not even know me but yet you took the time to consider my situation and respond. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and feel there are people behind me boosting me up so that I can move into pro active action.
May Hashem bless all the Yidden with only peace and good tidings and simchas and mazal, and may we together all go to yerushalyim as one.
Chonag


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I am a 52 year old mother of 6 children, ages 9 through 23. My husband is 59 and was diagnosed l8 years ago with a rare and incurable liver disease. He has had countless side effects from hisillness and now hislungs, heart, abdomen and immune system are messed up.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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5/29/05 11:27 PM
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I am so happy that you feel uplifted by the this board, and that you are part of a support group. It is important to remember that you are not alone. I believe any good relationship depends on what I call the "Three Pillars"; namely, Respect, Trust, and Appreciation. These three are non-negotiable as far as I am concerned. RSO should bless you with the strength and clarity!
a lynn
 
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eagle wings
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5/30/05 9:18 AM
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Dear Chonag,
Well, I can really feel for you as I am in a similar position. I am in my fifties, and have a large family. However, while my husband had VERY small bouts with depression through the years (never stopped him from working or davening...), he only became obviously bi polar about five years ago. (For a year or two before that he was "medicating" himself with drugs and alcohol which somehow I failed to notice . )
First of all, I must say that this board is OK. On another thread I said just how rotten it was for siblings to deal with BiPolar, expecting to really be bashed over the head by all the people with BiPolar here. Never came. (Thanks, all of you!)
My husband refused to go to councelling, or to take medications. When I said "No treatment, no marriage" HE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, AND KEPT SNEAKING DRUGS IN TILL THE HOSPITAL THREW HIM OUT. He did stop the drugs after that, as he saw that I would not let him come close to our kids.... but refuses treatment. His case is pretty mild, so I compromised in the end that my "line " was NO HITTING, and Keeping basic Yiddishkeit, and no buying "great deal" apartments for $25,000 (EVEN IF THEY ARE A GREAT DEAL ) without consulting me.....He also knows that if he touches drugs or alcohol, he won't be let alone with the kids at ALL. He is not abusive physically or verbally to me, or the kids. (Only once got abusive when drunk, but he got tackled by everyone in the house -I have nearly all male ofspring- so he learned that this just won't work here...)
Although he has no liver problem, it is a miracle he is around--- waundering around Arab places at the height of the infatidah to buy drugs, falling down steps (only NEARLY broke his neck)--- presently he is much like he was before this all started--- very slightly depressed. But now he has no job (You can quess why he lost it...). I am trying to prepare myself for the probability of a recurrance--- although in a sense I really don't dread it. One thing I have learned is that I DO NOT take responsibility for his actions, I will NOT run after him checking up on him when he is out of the house. I love this:


To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow others to affect
their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" it not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings,
and correct them.
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and
cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.

Pam Powers. 1987

However, with all of that, I don't think that anyone who so blithely says "draw the line" knows how vwry very difficult that is to do. (That doesn't mean one shouldn't do it...) It is all very easy to say "draw the line" --- but drawing the line means that you really will walk out if needed--- and that is not so easy when you are 50+ and have a bunch of kids. I'm sorry, but I can't see myself going to work full time right now, especially as I have a special child at home. (Read my lloonngg enteries under "is anyone here? on the Down Syndrome board if you are interested in the WAR I was waging for my daughters education at the SAME TIME as my husband's worse period....a real "double whooper!) We can not afford two separate households, and most of our money is HIS. Walking out meens putting my daughter in special ed, going to work full time, and still running the house, while living on a very reduced budget. I would do that if he would be abusive verbally or physically to the kids, physically to me, . I will not choose that route if the problem is our embarressment, or because of the pain that I live a very lonely life emotionally. I do know that if he hits anyone, I will not hesitate to call the police; their number is ready and waiting on my cellular phone contacts list.

Also very good that you have outside interests. This year I signed up for a course (once weekly) (better to support myself if need be...). On the day I registered I got a call from my son-- my husband had gone into the worst manic state ever (walking our black-hat white shirt frum town in plastic bath sandles and short pants and an teeshirt- and a raincoat---). I phoned and told one child to take charge of my special needs child--- and registered anyway...decided I will NOT let him make me hoover in fear all my life...


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"Let GO and Let G_D"
 
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Chonag
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5/31/05 12:25 AM
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To:Let go and let G-d,
Wow, it is kind of a relief to know that there are others out there that live with similar stresses on a daily basis. I wish you only to go from strength to stength and have the courage to live by the principals mentioned in the beautiful stanzas you wrote about "letting go". I gained so much by reading that. I am printing it out and want to read it all the time. It sums up what we have to do to truly grow and be at peace with ourselves. Thanks so much for sharing that with all of us. It is very very late and I gotta hit the sack but I couldn't go to bed without connecting with my frumsupport network. please everyone keep up with the messages as everyone benefits so much from reading them, and if one Jew grows and rejuvenates, then the whole Jewish People grow and rejuvenate, as we are as one body and one soul.
Though I don't know you face to face, I am praying for all of you, that you should be well physically and spiritually to fulfil Hashem's perfect plan for the whole creation.
Chonag


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I am a 52 year old mother of 6 children, ages 9 through 23. My husband is 59 and was diagnosed l8 years ago with a rare and incurable liver disease. He has had countless side effects from hisillness and now hislungs, heart, abdomen and immune system are messed up.
 
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eagle wings
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5/31/05 5:03 PM
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"To Let go and Let G-d" is my signiture. My "name" is "Eagle wings". I also have "Letting Go" printed out and in my calender for frequent reference. My name is because I imagine myself flying towards a future that is uncertain, but confident that somehow G-d will keep me afloat. Learning to let go is very hard--- but eventually it sinks in that you can not force someone else to be what you want. You can only prepare the fertile ground. They have to do their own growing (as we ALL do!)


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"Let GO and Let G_D"
 
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Chonag
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6/5/05 2:19 AM
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Whenever I open my frumsupport site I so look forward with anticipation to dialogue, replies, comments, chatting, personal feelings and outlooks, etc., and there is so little to view. Are people not interested in this site? What is the problem? Maybe everyone is just kind of busy which I can really understand. But it takes each one of us to make this thing work and we can't just pass the buck.
It has been very interesting what has been happening with my feelings and attitudes towards my husband. My psychiatrist (who I see every 3 months) explained to me my husband's disorder and personality type, and said that he will not be able to change. As much as he often mentions that he wants to go for counseling or therapy because he knows that his behaviour is rude, obnoxious and abusive, there is nothing that can be done for someone with a 59 year history of such defects. I of course have been aware of this for a very long time, but it really hit hard when said by a psychiatrist. The Let Go Prayer applies even more than ever for me. I must work on myself and what I can do to live with self esteem and joy and fulfillment irregardless of his extremely faulty personality. This is the test of my life, and I know that with Hashem's help I will be able to go forward from strength to strength.
This is not an issue to allow self pity or guilt to enter into. I will not sink, I will swim! I will go out there and find the resources to support me from other arenas and when there are issues that cannot help but put me in a situation where I have to interact with my husband (which of course are very often), I will be brave, strong and courageous and state my own personal truth with self esteem and personal dignity, no matter how much I am being maligned. If he chooses to speak to me abusively or rudely or with cruelty I will choose to let him know that I am not prepared to be spoken to in such a manner and until such time as he can conduct the conversation as a civil adult, I will not be discussing the issue at hand. I will survive at all costs.
It has been strange but I naturally don't feel any physical feelings towards my husband for the last couple of months since I started getting more in touch with his unacceptable behaviour. When he touches me and makes advances I feel so turned off. I suppose and hope this will change in time....but even if it doesn't my life can still be full of so many beautiful things.
Chonag


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I am a 52 year old mother of 6 children, ages 9 through 23. My husband is 59 and was diagnosed l8 years ago with a rare and incurable liver disease. He has had countless side effects from hisillness and now hislungs, heart, abdomen and immune system are messed up.
 
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ernie55B
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6/5/05 7:27 AM
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Hello Chonag!

You are right, it has been kind of quiet around here lately. Maybe that is a good thing in that peolple might be feeling a little better. I hope that is the case. But you just keep on posting please!
You're outlook sounds so positive that it is amazing. I don't know how someone who has been through as much as you have can have so much strength to make the best of your situation. I wish I had half the strength you do.
When I get down about things, I will try to keep your message in mind. In the meantime, I hope HKB"H continues to give you the energy and optimism to make the best possible life for yourself.
Keep writing- you are an inspiration to me at least!

Ernie
 
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motcha
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6/5/05 9:52 AM
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My heart goes out to you.
Yet, if your husband says he is w illing to go to therapy, get him in to therapy. Can it hurt? Maybe it will help. Really he should get himself into therapy. Its not your job to get him a therapist. But if you can push him into therapy and/or even marriage counsling, I would do it despite the fact that your psychiatrist says he'll never change.
 
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highlowhealthyslow
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6/6/05 3:38 PM
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Hello there, I too am bipolar and I recently had a psychotic episode (a moderate one) though I must thank Hashem that I am doing much better and approximately 90% over it.


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Ariel
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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6/7/05 12:34 AM
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It is my experience that people come and go on the site. Sometimes it is because they feel better, sometimes b/c they get busy, and sometimes b/c they go into "hiding". I think this is natural and to be expected, given the nature of this forum. Please do not be discouraged and keep posting. Lots more people read than post, and your postings may have larger influence than you imagine!
a lynn
 
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highlowhealthyslow
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6/7/05 9:28 AM
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Actualy, when I will have the time I hope to write my entire story about my various episodes of by-polar and where I'mm holding today (though not quite where I'd like it to be) and I believe that it may give a lot of people inspiration.


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Ariel
 
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