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TOPIC TITLE: Getting Out of a Rut
Created On 3/14/05 8:27 PM
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makeselfwhole
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Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2005

3/14/05 8:27 PM
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Wow! Here I am at the age of 26 (27 on Pesach) and I am just starting to figure out where I am going in life. I have been suffering from depression since age 10. I have been in a hospital twice and overdosed once at the age of 18. Yes even frum people attempt suicide! Although this is a frum site I am no longer. I have not been for many years.

I am recently going through a deep depression and I am tryign so hard to stay positive and focus on the future and what I am and have been doing for myself as a person who deserves everything the world has to offer. Here I sit ath the computer after a day of being in tears and not knowing how I will handle one minute from the next. I am sitting in my home well my parents home and I have to say that I hate it. I hate living back here where they think I am a sorry... ********! Where I can do nothing right. I signed up for this course where I can learn computer applications and become a certified microsoft office specialist... one would think that their parent would be happy for them but nope my moms reaction was " Thanks a lot!". You see my parents are dealing with a planniong a wedding at the moment and I am the one tha is supposed to be there and do everything when they need it done. Like babysit my younger siblings or cook dinner. Put my life together when it is not on their agenda "Oh my G-D How could I?"

Today I was in tears all day and all I want to do is SCREAM my head off, rip something or break something. I have not felt so lost and upset or for lack of better words pissed off and angry in ages.

Wow I feel like I am rambling.

I wish you all luck out there in this rough world of depression may you find a way to conquer it and make something of your life make something of yourself. Seek within your soula nd see who and what you want and really are!

S


Edited: 3/15/05 at 2:51 PM by FrumSupport Moderator
 
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motcha
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Posts: 182
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3/14/05 10:40 PM
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Hi,
Sorry to hear how you are going through such a hard time. You have survived much before so I know you have the ability to handle this too.
Are you in therapy? Medication?
motcha
 
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makeselfwhole
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3/16/05 12:52 PM
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I am seeing a therapist and I am taking meds.
 
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The Power Of Prayer
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3/16/05 3:47 PM
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To: makemyselfwhole

I sent you a private message. Did you read it? I hope it was helpful to you.
All the best!
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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Joined: Feb 2005

3/17/05 12:04 AM
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Makeselfwhole,
This may sound overly obvious and simple, but having a daily schedule, and making sure that you do not isolate are very important. Reaching out to this board was a good start. Keep writing!
 
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motcha
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3/17/05 1:22 PM
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I agree! When I have a schedule and structure I really do well. It is what has really helped me.
 
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haimk63
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4/4/05 7:17 PM
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TO MAKEMYSELF WHOLE:
I sometimes have the symptoms you mentioned and on those days I try my best to realize that it is only a period and I will feel a lot better once I come out of it. Of course it doesn't always work, but it is true that there are some very good days too.

Listen 27 is not that old, I am 42 and unmarried, still looking for a wife and a job. I wouldn't let that hold me back. It's just that on bad days everything seems wrong no matter what it may be.

Hey, the trick is to realize you are having a bad day/s and persevere as best you can (grin and bear it). This works !
Listen, there will be a lot better days so don't give up !!!

In my opinion (and a lot of others') people who suffer bouts of depression are very special, caring people. (Maybe that is why they are tested so much?). You can do a lot of good for yourself and the world, just persevere !

One practical note: Exercise helps a lot in defeating depression , although you have to take the decision. When I found it difficult to get myself motivated I came up with this solution: I play an Amnon Izhak lecture (www.shofar.net) while I am exercising and include it into my Torah study time.

Last but not least. Always pray to Hashem, eventhough it takes time, if you have the patience, you can't go wrong.

Don’t give up !!!



Edited: 4/4/05 at 8:43 PM by haimk63
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
Psychologist

Posts: 914
Joined: Feb 2005

4/5/05 2:14 AM
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Excellent suggestions!- working out, davening, etc. I would just add psychotherapy as well; support from shrinks, friends and family is so important. Often, when working with people suffering from depression, I encourage them to attribute the causes of their depression into two categories; a) skills deficits and b) emotional blocks (these categories are not mutually exclusive). Skills can be learned, and emotional blocks can be broken through, since they are often based on a misassesment of reality about one's self and/or the world, based on negative past experiences or other people's negative perceptions of us that we have come to accept.
A Lynn
 
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