Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: Small Victories 2
Created On 10/12/12 3:50 PM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

10/12/12 3:50 PM
User is offline View users profile

(This is the continuation of Small Victories)

Every time we do something that seems small, but is huge for us, we are building self-respect. We need to acknowledge those. Please post yours here.

My victory today was that I got out of bed and out of the house on time!


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wannabehappy21
Supporter

Posts: 184
Joined: Nov 2011

10/13/12 7:29 PM
User is offline

my victory today was that i went to shul this shabbos even though i really didnt want to and
hardly ever go on shabbos. i am proud of myself.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wannabehappy21
Supporter

Posts: 184
Joined: Nov 2011

10/13/12 7:31 PM
User is offline

Great Job Starkebachur!!!!!!!!!!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

10/13/12 8:28 PM
User is offline

thats great that you went to shul, thats really hard.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

10/13/12 10:45 PM
User is offline View users profile

Good job, wannabehappy! It's really important for people to get out even when we don't feel like it. So that's good!

My victory is that I flossed my teeth right away after shabbos! I tend to push that off, and it's not a good feeling when I neglect my teeth.


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

10/13/12 11:06 PM
User is offline

good going, shtarkebachur.

i tried not to compare myself today, to my sister for being more "frum" than me.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wannabehappy21
Supporter

Posts: 184
Joined: Nov 2011

10/14/12 10:22 AM
User is offline

great job guys!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

10/14/12 12:15 PM
User is offline

I went out to the post office and grocery today in the morning even though I really really didn't have patience and didn't want to go.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



reach4thestars
Senior Supporter

Posts: 203
Joined: Apr 2011

10/14/12 9:10 PM
User is offline

my victory is that I hung out with 2 people today and found a gown.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wannabehappy21
Supporter

Posts: 184
Joined: Nov 2011

10/14/12 9:13 PM
User is offline

great job!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Cutiestarr
Senior Supporter

Posts: 222
Joined: Aug 2012

10/14/12 10:55 PM
User is offline

I studied 6 hours straight
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

10/22/12 4:28 PM
User is offline

Today a teacher i'm "blessed" to work with made me feel like a piece of dirt.
I was able to acknowledge my sad ,angry feelings instead of saying to myself ' you're such an idiot for being so hyper sensitive."
I also journal-ed it with helped but i still feel sad. which is ok i guess.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

10/22/12 5:33 PM
User is offline

Sometimes feeling sad is appropriate, and this sounds like one of those times.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

10/22/12 9:08 PM
User is offline View users profile

Guys, thank you all for sharing! star, cutiestarr, reach4thestars, and toy123, it's nice that you're able to compliment your small victories. It encourages others to do the same when you share yours.

I decided to take a small rest even though i have lots to do, because I'm running low on sleep, and I need a little recharge. i decided not to be self-critical that I don't have as much stamina as some other people do.


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

10/26/12 4:58 PM
User is offline

im trying CRAZY hard to accept myself. just yelled at my mother and trying to accept myself, its ok to be moody sometimes.
its ok that i insulted my sister( i said sorry). its ok to feel down.
would appreciate anyones support.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

10/26/12 5:23 PM
User is offline

You can accept yourself as work in progress. We all are. We were born imperfect, and it's our job to perfect ourselves. This means that we can't expect perfection from ourselves in this world. We'll make mistakes, yell at people, insult people. And that's OK. That's a normal human state. Instead of beating yourself up for every mistake, pat yourself on the back for every small victory.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

10/26/12 5:30 PM
User is offline

and it's our job to perfect ourselves.

im not sure the goal is to be perfect. do you have a source for that?

Instead of beating yourself up for every mistake, pat yourself on the back for every small victory.

thanks.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

10/26/12 5:46 PM
User is offline

Yes, Ramchal in Daas Tevunos. Also the Maharal, in a number of places. If you'd like an exact citation ask me after Shabbos.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

10/26/12 5:54 PM
User is offline

no i wouldn't actually. i don't think you meant it as offensive, but i don't think its a very sensitive thing to say to someone in pain.
right now im working painfully hard on accepting myself and hearing that i need to be perfect just makes me more anxious and resentful.
even if its true, there's a time and place to say everything.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 10/27/12 at 7:29 PM by star
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

10/27/12 10:36 PM
User is offline

I'm sorry, star, I think I misunderstood your question. Maybe it was the erev Shabbos rush. No, it doesn't say that we need to be perfect. Not in this world. What those sources say is that imperfection is an intrinsic part of life in this world. You can't be human and perfect at the same time. It's a contradiction. I've always found it comforting to know that my issues are not my fault but are there by design.

So why was the world created with all those imperfections? Why do we humans have so many faults and shortcomings? Because Hashem wanted to give us an opportunity to partner with Him in achieving perfection. By working on ourselves and rectifying whatever we we were sent to this world to rectify we are fulfilling the purpose of creation. But it's not up to us to complete the task! Lo alecha hamlacha ligmor. But we can't ignore the task either. All we need to do is to begin.

Here's a very helpful article on perfectionism and Judaism: http://www.drsorotzkin.com/pdf/PERFECTION-AND-JUDIASM.pdf
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



reach4thestars
Senior Supporter

Posts: 203
Joined: Apr 2011

10/27/12 10:53 PM
User is offline

I had a really hard shabbos. I just felt very depressed. But, I triumphed it!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

10/27/12 11:35 PM
User is offline

thanks for the apology, hopefulmommy, and for explaining.

reach, the fact that you got thru it is a big victory. i guess i should sat the same for myself.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

10/28/12 1:49 AM
User is offline View users profile

thanks for sharing, everyone, it was great to read your victories. My victory is that I'm about to go to sleep! It's not THAT late


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

10/28/12 3:35 AM
User is offline

shtark, for motzei shabbos, that's considered a victory!

my victory is that I'm not getting frustrated despite the fact that I can't sleep again. I'm working instead and have already made significant progress. Don't know when I WILL get to sleep, though. kiddies will be waking up soon. yikes.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

11/2/12 3:40 PM
User is offline

My victory is that I went out on TWO walks today and I tried not to berate myself for not going to the gym. Even though the walks weren't straight ones (meaning we made stops) but I still went out of the house.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



star
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

11/2/12 4:01 PM
User is offline

wish and toy, thanks for sharing your victories.
bh today i used a dbt skill. i snapped at my sister because i felt like she pushed all the kids on to me, and i felt taken advantage of.
and then i got mad at myself for being so hyper sensitive. and then my sister said why are you beating yourself up ? just accept it.
so im trying really hard to picture the emotions and accept them and to love myself not based on anything i say or do.
i dont think i was really rude but if i was, i still love myself unconditionally. at least, im trying to.


-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

11/7/12 12:33 AM
User is offline View users profile

thanks for sharing your efforts, star, toy and wish.

Today I was nice to my friend! I made him feel good even though he wasn't completely doing the thing perfectly.


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wannabehappy21
Supporter

Posts: 184
Joined: Nov 2011

11/13/12 12:36 PM
User is offline

my victory is that i went to the gym yesterday and today even though i wasn't feeling up to it.
i pushed myself in to going. that's huge for me as i really didnt want to go.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

11/13/12 2:01 PM
User is offline

Hey wannabe i was just going to post that. My victory is that i went to the gym at 6:30 in the morning even though i had zero patience to go and really had to push myself hard. (My only defeat is that im doing HORRIBLE foodwise!!!)


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wannabehappy21
Supporter

Posts: 184
Joined: Nov 2011

11/13/12 2:52 PM
User is offline

great job toy! it really is hard for someone to push themselves when they're not feeling up to it
so good going.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

11/14/12 12:51 AM
User is offline View users profile

I love watching people take pride in their normal accomplishments. It's inspiring!
Good going, toy and wannabe!

My victory is that I took care of some school work I've been pushing off, and it was only ALMOST the last minute!


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/1/13 8:16 PM
User is offline

A behavior I've been struggling with - I tried to lessen whatever it is my behavior.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Mimi1022
Senior Supporter

Posts: 224
Joined: May 2012

1/1/13 8:52 PM
User is offline

What are you talking about?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/1/13 9:03 PM
User is offline

I'd rather not disclose the behavior but I'm trying to do it less....


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Mimi1022
Senior Supporter

Posts: 224
Joined: May 2012

1/2/13 9:38 PM
User is offline

There's no point in posting it if I don't have a clue what you're talking about!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/2/13 9:44 PM
User is offline

You don't have to know in order to give support. There are some issues which are private. If you don't have a clue then don't post. This is meant to be a victory thread not a putting someone down thread.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

1/2/13 11:03 PM
User is offline View users profile

That's right, toy. Thanks for sharing.
I'd like to share a similar victory: Today, I minimized my habitual behavior of pushing myself to do more than I feel comfortable doing.


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

5/2/13 9:35 PM
User is offline View users profile

Hi guys! it's been a while, but I've been having victories every day!

Last night I brushed my teeth before sleep! Even though I was exhausted and just wanted to phase out.


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

5/2/13 9:42 PM
User is offline

Welcome back! How are you doing?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

5/2/13 10:06 PM
User is offline View users profile

tired but not depressed. normal


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

5/2/13 10:17 PM
User is offline

That's so nice to hear! May it continue, always!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



shtarkebachur
Senior Supporter

Posts: 308
Joined: Jul 2007

7/25/15 11:31 PM
User is offline View users profile

Hello! Another victory coming up... I approached a number of people in shul today just to introduce myself and learn people's names. Used to be much scarier for me, it's still scary, but I did it! Looking forward to hearing your victories.


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Depression < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.