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TOPIC TITLE: sensitivity
Created On 3/23/13 8:34 PM
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star
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3/23/13 8:34 PM
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Does anyone else feel they are walking around without skin, so to speak?
I think my hypersensitivity is one of the key causes to my depression.
Anything slightly hurtful burns and stings me so badly and leaves an impact for days and days.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 3/24/13 at 7:41 AM by star
 
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star
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3/24/13 2:10 PM
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im feeling ignored ....wish someone would just acknowledge this....


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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Lasthope
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3/24/13 4:22 PM
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You are not ignored.. Yes its a really difficult time right now. Its stressful for those who arent suffering from depression and painful for those who are. Im not even making pesach this year (although i helped with cooking today) and im going nuts. I cant wait for it to be over already, so i guess we are in the same boat. Leep ur head above water, one day we will be let out of our personal mitrayim hell
 
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emunahdoj
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3/24/13 4:33 PM
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Yup, describes me perfectly. I know how you feel...it's painful.

For me it's like this.... this is an exerpt from an article from "Psychology Today"

Individuals with BPD feel the same emotions that we all do. The difference is that whether they're good or bad feelings, they're off the charts. "People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over 90 percent of their body," says Marsha M. Linehan, Ph.D., founder of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. "Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement."
 
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star
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3/24/13 5:47 PM
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OMG that is SO validating emunahdoj!!! thank you, you brought tears to my eyes. that described me perfectly- third degree burn.

thanks lasthope for responding. im going nuts too and im not helping at all.


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star
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3/25/13 3:05 PM
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Do you think it can apply to me also, even though im not daignosed with bpd but have some tendencies?
as in i have a huge fear of abandonment and feel like i have no emotional skin.

my father used to tell my mom that he has a really bad "sunburn" so everything hurt him so she related to this.


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star
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4/18/13 3:50 PM
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feeling this now. Wish I could climb into some protective skin. I can't work can't go out and take the risk of getting burned. I'll become a hermit or wtvr it's called. I can't talk to anyone, I'm burning burning burning. Someone save me.


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emunahdoj
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4/19/13 2:10 AM
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Just saw your response now. Yes, if you relate to it then I think it applies to you.
 
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star
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5/13/13 4:25 PM
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im BURNING!!! Im sitting and getting triggered over and over. noone gets i have no skin. where is the answer to this stupid bpd thing? i cant take another second like this!!!!
right now im sitting in the school i used to work in and the office person looked at me like im the loser who quit. every place i go i feel like a failure, get reminded of what a failure i was. cant see this person, cant go that place. im such a shameful failure!


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star
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5/13/13 4:38 PM
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im walking on eggshells a minefield everywhere i walk gets me blown up. i cant take this war!!!!


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HopefulMommy
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5/13/13 5:56 PM
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That's really hard!
 
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star
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5/13/13 11:03 PM
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thanks. all these triggering people/places- is it them or me???


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HopefulMommy
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5/14/13 1:38 AM
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It's both really. It's a combination. It's like when you have a cut and drip tomato juice on it. The cut didn't hurt, and the tomato juice is not inherently hurtful. But together, they hurt.

In my experience, something becomes a trigger when it is associated with something painful in the past. For example, if I've been let down by people before and then someone tells me they'll do something for me and then don't come through my reaction can be more intense than the occasion requires. Let's say it was something small, like picking up something from the store that I could do without. But I might get as upset as if it was something extremely important. Does this make sense? Is it the same for you?
 
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star
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5/19/13 8:48 PM
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hopefulmommy, are u ok? i miss u here...


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HopefulMommy
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5/19/13 11:06 PM
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Sorry I haven't been around. We've had B"H lots of family and friends traffic over Shavuos and Shabbos, and some extended family members are still here, so it's been really busy.

I'm doing OK, B"H, with Xanax. But the other day I took it and still had some mild panic attacks. Why isn't it working as well as it used to?? And the Zoloft doesn't seem to be working so well either. Do meds just stop working after a while?
 
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star
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5/20/13 12:30 PM
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Wow I have no idea how you handled all that traffic. Just hearing about it overwhelms me. Yeah I used to ask my doc that too, do we just keep upping the dose as it wears off?


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HopefulMommy
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5/20/13 2:04 PM
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What did your doc say?
 
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star
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5/21/13 4:27 PM
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i dont remember, you can ask dr price. i think that if u up it enough, it will "hold'' at a certain level.


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star
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6/2/13 5:54 PM
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noones on so i dont know why im posting, but i just got into a fight with my mom cuz she triggered me but she wont drive me to therapy tomorrow. i have to take the bus and spend the whole day doing nothing there cuz i dont have a ride back til much later. im so angry and hurt. and im angry for getting angry at her. and now i have noone to talk to cuz im too hurt to talk to her. HELL!!!!!


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star
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6/2/13 9:20 PM
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where is everyone? i miss your support.


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HopefulMommy
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6/2/13 9:36 PM
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Sounds hard! Can you apologize to your mother and explain that you can't control your anger, that it's part of your disease?
 
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star
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-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 6/3/13 at 6:05 PM by star
 
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HopefulMommy
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When you step on someone's foot do you apologize? Even if it was an accident and you meant no harm?

No, not for getting triggered, but for inadvertently hurting your mother. That's why I said that you could explain to her that it wasn't your fault and that it was your depression that caused it. Your mother also has feelings, and clearly she was hurt if she doesn't want to take you to your T.
 
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star
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6/3/13 12:57 PM
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-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 6/3/13 at 6:05 PM by star
 
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HopefulMommy
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6/3/13 2:17 PM
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Remember I said that you should get your mother on board, and you said that she's already on board? Well, clearly she isn't, since she keeps saying things that trigger you, and then gets upset when you respond. My point is that you need to get her on board, in order to avoid this cycle. Clearly, she doesn't fully understand what you're going through. What I was trying to say, which you didn't notice because you got stuck on the apology part, is that you should have an honest conversation with her. Tell her exactly what's going on for you, just as you are telling us here on the forum. Which is why I suggested that you begin with an apology, so that she feels heard. Note that I did not say that you should feel guilty. Or that you should beat yourself up. Or that it was your fault. Or anything else that is making you feel worse. I'm suggesting that it would help in getting your mother on board if you can make her feel heard and understood. Because it's not her fault either. She just doesn't have any personal experience with what you're going through. So how can you possibly expect her not to say anything triggering if you don't have that conversation? As I said before, it might help if she comes to a therapy appointment with you and hears all this from your T.

It should be teamwork. You can team up with your mother to fight your illness. The illness is the culprit here, not you. You can work together, not against each other!
 
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star
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-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 6/3/13 at 6:04 PM by star
 
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star
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6/3/13 4:41 PM
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omg this is just like iyov!!!!


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HopefulMommy
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6/3/13 5:21 PM
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Star, I feel that you're putting words in my mouth. I did not judge you. I did not imply that you're guilty of anything, and certainly said nothing about you being stupid. And i never blamed you for you problems, so I don't understand why you're accusing me of being just like Iyov's friends.

I'm sorry you felt hurt. That was certainly not my intention. I'm coming more from the CBT point of view where you challenge your beliefs in order to move beyond them. I think I should just stop replying to your posts which describe your interactions with your mother because, being a mother myself, it's an emotionally loaded topic for me. I think we should leave it at that.
 
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star
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6/3/13 5:49 PM
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-------------------------
there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 6/3/13 at 6:09 PM by star
 
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star
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6/3/13 5:55 PM
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there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 6/3/13 at 6:04 PM by star
 
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star
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6/3/13 6:09 PM
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i have deleted my posts not out of shame but because of lack of others understanding.
if it is my fault that i dont get along with anyone here, then you can be iyovs friends and shoot me down.
i know, EVEN IF NOONE ELSE DOES, that i am in a crazy amount of pain and cannot and should not be judged.
if you do not want to respond to my posts anymore, i will be hurt but it is not my fault.
i will miss you guys for the supportive words you have shared.
im sorry for the hurt between us.


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HopefulMommy
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6/3/13 7:53 PM
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I'm also sorry for the hurt between us, and have no intention of shooting you down. I think the topic of mothers is triggering for me, so I should avoid it to prevent further hurt. But we can talk about other things. I'm going to share something I did today on the enjoyment thread.
 
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Cutiestarr
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6/4/13 9:20 AM
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"i have deleted my posts not out of shame but because of lack of others understanding."

how do you know that others won't understand? maybe we will and be very compassionate
 
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