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TOPIC TITLE: Dear G-d:
Created On 4/3/13 5:27 PM
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4/3/13 5:27 PM
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Dear G-d,

I am SO ANGRY at You!
I'm screaming at You like Iyov screamed, because then maybe You will finally appear.
I am angry at You for my childhood scars.
I am angry for the times I was teased and You hid Your face.
I am angry for the hurt I felt the day my parents told me they were divorcing, and the shame and humiliation.
I am angry for the lack of friends to support me until recently.
And....I am so angry for the days when I am a step away from death's door.
But I am angrier today, when I'm lonely.
When i deserve to finally be rewarded for all the hell Ive been through.
So ENOUGH hiding, do You hear me,G-d?
Enough of all this pain and crying and darkness!
Its enough!!!!!
I cannot scream in the streets because I am ashamed, but I will scream here loud and clear:
ANSWER ME! REWARD ME ! SHOWER ME WITH THE ONE BLESSING I SO NEED TO HEAL!
Thank you.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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4/3/13 10:19 PM
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feel free to scream at Gd here, with me.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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channafofanna
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4/3/13 10:36 PM
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Dear G-d,
I am so lost. I know You are there and I try to talk to You every night in my own words, and i take baby steps to do the right thing but im still half OTD. Why?
I dont know how to grow. I dont know if You want me to even come close. Why would You?
I ask for help in controling myself yet I fail. I try to call out to You, but I never say thanks. I dont know what to do next. I wish You would send me a mentor. I need to talk to someone. That is the only way I can heal.
G-D. Are You there? I know You are, but why dont I feel it?
Do You hate me? Love me? Am I doing enoguh? Am I trying hard enough? Am I doing my best? Or am I a sorry excuse for a person who is a master excuse maker? Help me find clarity. Help my family and all families in the worlds shalom bayis, including extended family. Let them be happy and healthy and love torah and feel You.
Is that asking to much?
Thank You for always saving me. Im sorry I never give recognition. But Im working on it. Dont You see?
 
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4/3/13 11:11 PM
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thanks for sharing!


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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toy123
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4/4/13 10:28 AM
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Dear Gd

Tbis is g ojr daugbter speaking. I only ask of u one thing help me. Yeas I know that is a big one but is it so much? You are supposed to be the helper of the universe. You help so many people yet me what about me? I am all forgotten, pushed to a corner, looked awah at. WHY? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? Am I that bad that u have to ignore me, ignore my tefillos? I'm not coping anymore I need ur help and ur not giving it to me. I kinda really hate you by now. You let everyone get ahead in life except for me. I'm not jealous I'm just hurt, sad, and feel all alone... Hashem why You doing this to me? Can You explain?!?!?!


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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hiddenbutterfly613
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4/4/13 3:28 PM
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Dear God,

Only You know.
Only You know how I hold myself back. From responding and yelling when I know it's futile. From hurting others with my words. From hurting myself.
Only You know the pain I still carry when I see those who bullied me, out there living happy lives with husbands and children. Yet I have neither.
Only You know how driven I am to distance myself from those that still cause me pain. Yet You continue to block my path to freedom.
Only You know that the fire that used to reside inside me, my passion for life and spirituality has dwindled. How it continues to do so each day as nothing changes.
Only You know how it hurts to see a mother cry every time her children mention a childhood memory that wasn't so happy. No matter how much we comfort her.
Only You know the pain my mother carries within her. How she cries out to You all the time and yet how nothing has changed.
Only You know the anger that comes with the lack of change and deeper fall into a pit of emotional despair.
Only You know the sadness that surrounds as others move on in their lives and accomplish things, whether great or not, as I am stuck in place.
Only You know the fight that endures as I try to keep my head above the water.
Only You know how embarrassed I am at this thing I call my life and how I wish it would change.
Only You know how successful my non religious family members are. How they look down upon us unsuccessful religious ones. And how much it hurts.
Only You know how I stand up for Your name and this religion in public, while in private I wonder if it's even worth it. If it even matters.
Only You know how I feel unloved and abandoned by people who are supposed to care for me.
Only You know how I yell out to You to make it all stop. To take away the pain or at least my life.
Only You know how in moments of extreme weakness I have begged You to just remove me from this earth, and not even save my neshama.
Only You know how I just don't care. How I can't care.
Only You know just how much I actually cry. By myself. In my pillow.
Only You know why I stopped praying to You the way I used to. Why I feel the way I feel.
Only You know how my faith has worn thin.
Only You know.
Only You know, so why have You forsaken me? Why have You left me alone and afraid?
Only You know, so why won't You do something to make me realize that this life really is worth it? That I have some real goal to work towards?
Only You know, so why won't You reveal Yourself or Your purpose for me in this world?
Only You know that I will keep moving forward, though not out of choice.
Only You know, and You are the only one who will ever know.


-------------------------
~You make a LIVING by what you GET,
You make a LIFE by what you GIVE~
 
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4/4/13 5:28 PM
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thanks for sharing, everyone. i think its really important to talk to Gd honestly, from the depths of my heart.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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HopefulMommy
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4/5/13 1:27 AM
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All of these are so moving. May Hashem remove all pain and suffering from His world!
 
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channafofanna
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4/5/13 10:55 AM
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AMEN!!!!
 
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4/5/13 2:36 PM
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Dear G-d,

As I walk home, I talk to you, as the sun shines on me.
I beg you, trying to display the pain inside, to get to the depths so You can see how much pain I'm in.
Tatte, have pity on me, just because I'm Your child.
Even if i don't deserve it, even if i was supposed to go through more pain first.
Please send me my healing. I beg you, I dont know which words to use, or the magic key to make You hear me.
I just turn to You because I need You to be my Tatte.
Who takes care of my every need, and gives in to me just because You love me like a child.
Please, please send him to me. Please, please,please.
You know the truth, how my mind has traveled through the darkest of nights, and still
still I turn to You. Still I try to trust You, although I haven't felt You catching me when I fell so many times.
Please. Show me how much You love me.
This once!


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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channafofanna
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4/5/13 4:55 PM
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G-d loves you.
proof:
Hed kill you if HE hated you, plus He sent me to say that to you (indirectly, im not hearing voices, dont worry!) and cuz u just made 3 (4 including yourself) talk to Him. what could make Him love you more.
Its like the joke i heard:
G-d is showing a rabbi around gan eden and he showed him his house. the neighber next door had a MANSION!! he asked what the guy did to deserve such a house.
Answer: When you did your job , people fell asleep (aka, during speeches) wich is a mitzvah, but when he was a taxi driver ,and when he drove, PEOPLE PRAYED!!!
Not that you are like the cabbie ,
 
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channafofanna
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4/5/13 4:56 PM
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but you got us to pray and you did it yourself to!!!!!
 
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4/7/13 5:31 PM
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Dear G-d,

Today was dark. Not a ray of light.
You've wrestled away my will to live, to put one foot in front of the other.

But still I pray, because I know nothing else.
No one else is all capable of helping me like You can.
You are unlimited. You make miracles happen all the time.

I am limited. I'm little. I make big mistakes. I fall a lot.
But I'm Your little child in tears.
So help me.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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toy123
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4/8/13 12:01 PM
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Dear Gd

I HATE YOU!!! I need to cut now!!! Why are You making me feel so bad? I'm at work looking for something i could cut with and I'm not finding anything. Hashem why? Why are you making my life a living hell. You might as well take me and put me to hell up there... Hashem please make me feel better and not worse cuz I'm feeling worse by the minute. I want to die!!!


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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4/8/13 8:07 PM
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thanks for sharing! i know what you mean about the two hell options...which is worse?


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4/10/13 4:18 PM
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Dear Hashem:

Please send me self love.
So I can walk into work without shame, with my head held high.
So I can accept that I am doing the best I can at work.
So I can get married.

Please send me self love!


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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hiddenbutterfly613
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4/12/13 3:28 AM
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Dear God,

Why do you continue to torment me?
I know so many families who have married off their children in order, so why do you have to make me feel so alone by allowing my younger sister to have the thing I feel I never can before I even get a fair chance to try?
We're similar enough that we get compared fairly often and although I laugh it off, only you know how much it hurts. So why make it continue? Why keep giving to her and taking from me?
Where is the balance in MY life?
When will it be my turn?


-------------------------
~You make a LIVING by what you GET,
You make a LIFE by what you GIVE~
 
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Who am I
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2/24/15 10:46 PM
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smile and the world smiles with you

Edited: 4/17/15 at 2:06 PM by Who am I
 
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wishtobehappy
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2/27/15 2:09 PM
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Welcome Who Am I.

I'm sorry for your pain.
 
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Who am I
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3/6/15 3:17 PM
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For a long while I was extremely angry with G-d for all the misery in my life. But I have come to the realization that that's the wrong approach. G-d wants us to be loyal and even try to love Him despite all the horrible things He does to us. It's a test! G-d wants to see how strong we are. G-d wants to see if we can still be loyal and love Him despite all the torture that we may experience.


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smile and the world smiles with you
 
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wishtobehappy
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3/6/15 4:35 PM
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Great attitude!
 
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