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TOPIC TITLE: dread
Created On 5/18/13 9:28 PM
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HopefulMommy
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5/29/13 12:11 PM
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I always think of abusers as people who really don't care about other people and just use them for their own interests. Your mother sounds exactly the opposite. She sounds like she does care, and tries hard, but makes mistakes sometimes.
 
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star
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Posts: 1982
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5/29/13 1:07 PM
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there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 5/29/13 at 1:10 PM by star
 
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star
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5/29/13 1:09 PM
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i was referring to my sister. and my mom the bystander who doesnt help the victim.i just feel hurt and invalidated. i cant see how you think this would make me feel better.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel

Edited: 5/29/13 at 2:12 PM by star
 
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star
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5/29/13 2:09 PM
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im sorry i really dont mean to and dont want to fight. im just confused as to what youre trying to say.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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HopefulMommy
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5/29/13 8:04 PM
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I thought you were referring to your mother. What I'm trying to say is that she's human. She might have reacted in a way that was hurtful to you, but it doesn't sound like she meant to hurt you. So there are two things at play here. One is that you felt hurt. The other one is that your mother loves you, cares about you, and no intention of abandoning or rejecting you. Both are true. I think it might help you with your fear of rejection if you could convince yourself that while you felt hurt, at the same time your mother was not rejecting you, and is not planning on rejecting you in the future. That way, if you ever feel rejected in the future you can tell yourself that while it feels like rejection it actually wasn't meant to be. Tell yourself that your mother is allowed to make mistakes, just like any other human being. It will decrease the tension between you if you allow her to be less than perfect.
 
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star
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5/30/13 1:50 AM
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this conversation is just making me feel worse so i think we should drop it.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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