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TOPIC TITLE: emotion zone
Created On 5/27/13 6:20 PM
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5/27/13 6:20 PM
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I'm trying out this 'theory', not sure it makes sense or if it doesn't have to.
my mom said she can't pick me up with the car and I told her I felt hurt, to which explained how she didn't mean to hurt me due to a certain reason. I journalled and realized I didn't want her logic I just wanted her understanding and validation. Like there's two parts of my brain: logic zone and emotion zone and once I'm hurt I go into emotion zone and I'm disconnected from logic so explaining the hurtful behaviour doesn't always help(sometimes it does, depends how much the emotions have taken me over.) but I can try to fight back emotion with emotion, like I asked my mom just to try to understand me, which she then did, which was validating. Does this make any sense?im just writing out this thought out here, not even sure it could always work in any situation. But for sure this is opposite cbt.


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5/27/13 11:53 PM
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maybe this is my ego talking? thats what im scared of...


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HopefulMommy
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5/27/13 11:53 PM
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Makes sense, actually. Remind me of the book Parenting from the Inside Out, by Daniel Stern. He explains that there are two paths the brain can take. He calls it the high road and the low road. The high road is logical and rational. But once we turn onto the low road we just react emotionally. The parts of the brain that process logical thought are not involved. I hope I'm explaining it correctly. Science has never been a strength of mine. Google Daniel Stern. He wrote a number of books, most of them not on parenting.
 
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I'mTrying
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5/28/13 12:30 AM
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I don't think it's your ego talking. I think it's the scared and hurt child deep inside you.
 
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5/28/13 12:49 PM
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sounds like the low road is considered "low", like something inferior.


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HopefulMommy
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5/28/13 1:42 PM
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It is inferior in the sense that higher level functioning is turned off. Of course, it's much better to use the whole brain, not just some parts of it.
 
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5/28/13 3:02 PM
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im not so sure. because i have this doubt that im just overemotional like a child so it hurts to say that feeling only emotional is lower.


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HopefulMommy
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5/29/13 1:14 AM
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I don't understand why you need to make a value judgment here. It's neither good nor bad. It just is. When only the intellect is involved but no emotions that's not ideal either. You're missing something. You need both for the full picture.
 
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5/29/13 11:38 AM
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im not making the judgement, the guy is by calling it higher and lower. that implies that emotion is lower.


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HopefulMommy
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5/29/13 8:05 PM
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Why don't you look it up? I think I'm not explaining it right.
 
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HopefulMommy
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5/29/13 8:26 PM
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I think it has to do with which parts of the brain are activated, and some of them are higher and others are lower. Told you I've never been good at science. Don't ask me which ones.
 
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5/30/13 1:51 AM
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ok maybe...


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HopefulMommy
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5/31/13 12:50 AM
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Maybe what's bothering you is that the book, or at least my explanation of it, attempts to help people recognize when they are on the low road, so that they can manage their reactions better. You find it judgmental because you're looking for unconditional acceptance. But it's not a contradiction. How about a completely different example? Let's say a child is blind. Her mother loves and accepts her unconditionally. At the same time, she explores all the medical ways to helps her daughter see. If, say, she discovers that a certain doctor invented a new procedure that could restore her daughter's sight would she try it? Of course. And if the procedure works she'd be ecstatic. But her love for her daughter won't change. She loved her unconditionally before the procedure, and would love her just as much after the procedure. Am I making sense?

So the nimshal is that you experience very strong emotions which cause you to respond with anger to certain triggers. You need to love and accept yourself unconditionally, whether or not you get angry. At the same time, you might want to open up new possibilities for yourself, so that your life becomes more enjoyable, and so that you can get a better and clearer picture of the world.
 
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5/31/13 10:35 AM
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nice mashal


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