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TOPIC TITLE: Please read
Created On 6/23/13 12:09 PM
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channafofanna
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6/23/13 12:09 PM
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I wrote this letter to a friend a while ago, and I thought if it might help someone you can pass it on..

Please take some time to read this, and not just skim it. These words are really from my heart, and I need them to enter yours.
One thing you have to know is you are going to be ok. You know how many times you were this stressed out and depressed and didn’t know how you would survive another second? Well guess what, you survived it then and you will survive it now! You will!! I’m the type to say everything with an “I’m yirtzeh Hashem” or “hopefully” or “bli neder”. When someone asks me the time I say “around ----“. I really try not to use my words frivolously, s. So I can assure you that when I say I KNOW things will get better, things really will get better. Yes, things will get better! . And if you think I’m wrong? Prove it!!! You cant argue without proof! How do you prove it? By making it to 120 and seeing that things did get better, even if just for the last second of your life. That’s the only way to prove me wrong. But you know what? That means you have to hang on there.
Are you really going to give up? I know what hard is. I know what it’s like to be lonely, feel fat and out of control, have friends die, depressed, suicidal, totally alone, anxious, scared, to be a failure, betraying all and betrayed by all. I know waht its like to be away from home, have parents fighting and much more. I have survived more in my few years of life then some adults. Maybe I don’t have things as bad as you and , maybe I had it worse then you. But that doesn’t matter. The point is I’m sitting here writing this, and I’m B”H alive. Despite every single time I KNEW I was going to die. I knew I couldnt go on for another second . And if I can do it, why can’t you?
I could tell you about Tzadik Vira Lo, The gemara that says if a person has 40 days without a tzara they lose their olam haba, I could say that Hashem only tests the ones He loves, He brought you to it, He’ll bring you through it, it’s a nisayon, that you are going to be living it up in the next world , I could say all of that stuff, but I don’t think you want to hear it, just like you don’t want to hear “if you had emunah you would be happy” “ you’re just lazy” “ You’re not trying hard enough”… So I’m not going to say it, because me saying it won’t do a thing. And because like I said before I try to be careful with my words, and I dont necessarily underatand all of those concepts or am up to the level that I can belive all of that, when I am still strugling every day to have emunah. But that doesn't mean you can’t think about it. And if you want to think about it, please go to divreichizuk.com. I know it gave me a lot of chizuk when i was ready to let Hashem into my life.
DON’T YOU REALIZE YOU ARE SO AMAZING!!???!! Once again, I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it 300%! Don’t you get that Hashem sent me to write this JUST FOR YOU because He knows how you feel and is crying with you. Hashem made you get this letter from me! He sent this letter to you to tell you not to give up.
Plus, the fact that you are still reading this means that you are still looking for chizuk and help. That means you know deep down there, somewhere, that things will be ok. It’s just your yetzer hora trying to cover all the good up. He gave you amnesia to all the positive traits you have.
If you give up now, how would things change? I’m not talking about things changing for you, because I know you have all these fantasies that “if only…. I would be ok” or "I rather be in gehenom up there then down here". I mean your kids. Your grandkids. Your family. Your friends. Your community. Even the people around you. If you would Chas V’shalom, Chas V’chalila die, do you know how sad they would feel? How guilty? Maybe even bring them to the point that you are at right now. Do you want them to have to deal with that? How would a seemingly small decision change the future of klal yisroel? I know it feels like nothing would change. But it would!!! It really would!!! You have the power to RUIN PEOPLES LIVES by C”V leaving this world. So if you believe you have the power to destroy, why can’t you believe you have the power to create?
I’m not saying that things will be easy. Actually, I can almost guarantee that things will NOT be easy!!! But they will be possible. They definitely will be possible. I know it, and somewhere inside of you, there's a part that knows and believes it to.
Please save this letter for any other time you might C”V need it, and feel free to pass it on to otherios. I appologize if any of my words hurt anyone, it was certainly not my intention. I really just want you to keep fighting on and not give up. I know I used a lot of "no no's" that you arent suposed to say to someone who is depressed, so please forgive me.
Stay Strong


Any sugestions for making it better?
 
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Lasthope
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6/23/13 1:40 PM
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Kol Hakavod! Very nicely written and straight from the heart! I hope your friend sees how much you care about her and listens to all your true words. This letter can be for anyone out there suffering so much they want to die. It's a strong message, but it's the truth and sometimes the truth hurts. When I was suicidal, my therapist told me, "you can't leave your kids. You have to get better for your kids". It wasn't easy to hear that, but it helped keep me going, because it's true, there are so many people who would miss you. Even if you dont have kids...there are family and friends. People who care, but just don't know how to help. May everyone find their healing and just have a refuah shleima!
 
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channafofanna
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6/23/13 1:52 PM
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amen!!!!
thanks for the feedback!!
I was always so jealous of the people who had the courage to put up what they worte on the forums. Now I did it!! Of course I wont post anythig else, but its a start...
 
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HopefulMommy
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6/24/13 12:37 AM
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Beautiful, Channa! Thank you for sharing. Hope your friend finds it helpful. And please do share more!
 
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channafofanna
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6/24/13 9:36 AM
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thanks
 
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keep climbing
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6/24/13 12:53 PM
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Wow, Channa, you add so much to this site!
All in all, I've got to say that we're a great bunch and I'm proud to be here with you all!
 
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keep climbing
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6/24/13 12:55 PM
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Did I really say that I"m proud?
Yes. Cause we're all good, bright people who keep trying despite crazy difficulties.
Agree?
 
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channafofanna
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6/24/13 4:19 PM
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yep!! agree with you totaly!!!
 
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HopefulMommy
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6/25/13 12:19 AM
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I agree too!

Channa, can I use parts of this letter for my book?
 
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channafofanna
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6/25/13 11:51 AM
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Yep, anyone is free to copy and or pass it on. I wrote it to help people, not for myself so whatever will help people, go ahead and do!!
 
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HopefulMommy
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6/25/13 2:30 PM
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Thanks!
 
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HopefulMommy
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6/28/13 1:33 PM
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I edited your piece for minor grammar/punctuation stuff. Here it is, in case you'll want to send it or post it somewhere else:

Please take some time to read this, and not just skim it. These words are really from my heart, and I need them to enter yours.
One thing you have to know is you are going to be OK. You know how many times you were this stressed out and depressed and didn’t know how you would survive another second? Well, guess what, you survived it then and you will survive it now! You will!! I’m the type to say everything with an “im yirtzeh Hashem” or “hopefully” or “bli neder”. When someone asks me the time I say “around ----“. I really try not to use my words frivolously. So I can assure you that when I say I KNOW things will get better, things really will get better. Yes, things will get better! And if you think I’m wrong? Prove it!!! You can’t argue without proof! How do you prove it? By making it to 120 and seeing that things did get better, even if just for the last second of your life. That’s the only way to prove me wrong. But you know what? That means you have to hang on there.
Are you really going to give up? I know what hard is. I know what it’s like to be lonely, feel fat and out of control, have friends die, depressed, suicidal, totally alone, anxious, scared, to be a failure, betraying all and betrayed by all. I know what it’s like to be away from home, have parents fighting and much more. I have survived more in my few years of life than some adults. Maybe I don’t have things as bad as you and maybe I had it worse than you. But that doesn’t matter. The point is I’m sitting here writing this, and I’m B”H alive. Despite every single time I KNEW I was going to die. I knew I couldn’t go on for another second. And if I can do it, why can’t you?
I could tell you about tzadik vira lo, the gemara that says if a person has 40 days without a tzara they lose their olam haba, I could say that Hashem only tests the ones He loves, He brought you to it, He’ll bring you through it, it’s a nisayon, that you are going to be living it up in the next world , I could say all of that stuff, but I don’t think you want to hear it, just like you don’t want to hear, “if you had emunah you would be happy” or “ you’re just lazy” or “ you’re not trying hard enough…” So I’m not going to say it, because me saying it won’t do a thing. And because, like I said before, I try to be careful with my words, and I don’t necessarily understand all of those concepts or am up to the level that I can believe all of that, when I am still struggling every day to have emunah. But that doesn't mean you can’t think about it. And if you want to think about it, please go to divreichizuk.com. I know it gave me a lot of chizuk when I was ready to let Hashem into my life.
DON’T YOU REALIZE YOU ARE SO AMAZING!!???!! Once again, I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it 300%! Don’t you get that Hashem sent me to write this JUST FOR YOU because He knows how you feel and is crying with you? Hashem made you get this letter from me! He sent this letter to you to tell you not to give up.
Plus, the fact that you are still reading this means that you are still looking for chizuk and help. That means you know deep down there, somewhere, that things will be ok. It’s just your yetzer hora trying to cover all the good up. He gave you amnesia to all the positive traits you have.
If you give up now, how would things change? I’m not talking about things changing for you, because I know you have all these fantasies that “if only…. I would be ok” or "I’d rather be in gehenom up there then down here." I mean your kids. Your grandkids. Your family. Your friends. Your community. Even the people around you. If you would, Chas V’shalom, Chas V’chalila, die, do you know how sad they would feel? How guilty? Maybe it would even bring them to the point that you are at right now. Do you want them to have to deal with that? How would a seemingly small decision change the future of klal yisroel? I know it feels like nothing would change. But it would!!! It really would!!! You have the power to RUIN PEOPLES LIVES by C”V leaving this world. So if you believe you have the power to destroy, why can’t you believe you have the power to create?
I’m not saying that things will be easy. Actually, I can almost guarantee that things will NOT be easy!!! But they will be possible. They definitely will be possible. I know it, and somewhere inside of you, there's a part that knows and believes it too.
Please save this letter for any other time you might C”V need it, and feel free to pass it on to others. I apologize if any of my words hurt anyone, it was certainly not my intention. I really just want you to keep fighting on and not give up. I know I used a lot of "no no's" that you aren’t supposed to say to someone who is depressed, so please forgive me.
Stay strong!
 
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channafofanna
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6/28/13 4:16 PM
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wow, thats amazing! you really fixed it up!!! thanks so much!!! Im actualy only on FS, but if anyone else wants to post it anywhere else, go ahaead....
 
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Lasthope
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12/28/13 2:29 PM
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i just wanted to bump this up to the beginning of the threads because it was such a beautifully written piece and perhaps can help any of us going through a hard time... thanks again channa
 
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channafofanna
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12/29/13 9:54 AM
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-Blush-
 
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