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TOPIC TITLE: Self Doubt
Created On 7/15/13 6:12 PM
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MoMo
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7/15/13 6:12 PM
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Growing up I was criticized very harshly.
As a result I often project that others are viewing me negatively.

I have a question for all of you (You can be fully honest!!! -I won't be insulted!!!) I need honesty even if it's not positive.

Do my posts turn people off?
Like: we heard enough from you!
Or: you are such a big shot!
Or: we don't care about every stupid detail of your life!
Or: Stop being so negative!
Or: You're a jerk!

I hate thinking this way.
 
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channafofanna
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7/15/13 6:49 PM
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NO!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!! NO!!! NO!! NO!! NO!! and NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Your posts DO NOT turn me off. I actually look forward to reading your posts. The only time we have heard enough from you is when youve said enough ( in a positive way, as in, were here for you, so whatever you want to say is great!! just like your here for us)
You are NOT a big shot. In fact I dont think you could even be a big shot if you tried!! (no offense!!)
You DO NOT post every stupid detail of your life. And if you do then it must be on some other site.....
You are not being negative, per say, you are depressed. Its not your fault. and arent we here to be negative? vent out the card life dealt us? You are no more negative then anyone else here
and you are NOT a jerk. I dont think you can be a jerk either if you tried (again, no offense)
and yeah, I can imagine you hate thinking that way, I think we alll are nervous that we are a burden on everyone else and that everyone hates us and the reason all the people on the site have mental health issues is because were posting on it and everyone would be happier if we just shut our keyboards and shot ourselves. But you know what? If you look at me and think that I am annoying, then maybe you might have a reason to doubt if you could be anoying, but you know what? You showed me that you DONT think I am annoying and therefore if I am not annoying, then why would you be? Do you get my logic here?


Edited: 7/15/13 at 7:22 PM by channafofanna
 
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TBear
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7/15/13 6:56 PM
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MoMo....

No - You are a prince -

1. You have a right to have your needs met - if posting here is meeting a need - then keep it up!

2. It has never been my experience that you have been what you are expressing - you have been supportive and contributing in addition to looking for other's opinions. That is what friends do - either online or offline.

3. How would you respond to someone else who was treating themselves the way you are treating yourself with your self talk? Give yourself some of that compassion - you deserve it.

Have an easy fast.... and be kind to all - including yourself!

 
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wishtobehappy
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7/15/13 7:44 PM
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I fully agree with channa and tbear.

Momo, you sound like a wonderful person who is struggling and succeeding, and struggling and succeeding.

channa, your post made me smile. super spunky.
 
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HopefulMommy
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7/15/13 7:51 PM
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Another vote -- I've never felt any of things you mentioned. Your posts are usually thought-out, thought-provoking, kind, sensitive, caring. You come across as a wonderful person. Please keep posting! And try to see yourself in a more positive light. Although I know from experience that it's not easy. It takes time.
 
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keep climbing
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7/15/13 7:59 PM
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Momo! I think you are of thethe most sincere, caring, persevering and charming people I know. I look forward to hearing from you always and miss you if you're absent.....
So, here is the monster talking again......Trying to twist the truth.
Challenge him. Say--it's simply not true and show him this thresd.
Good Luck!
It's going to get better, IYH.
 
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MoMo
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7/15/13 8:39 PM
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Ok I think you guys have me convinced..
I'll keep on posting about my life it helps me so much and maybe it will help others as well..

Channa you had me laughing out loud!!!
 
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MoMo
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7/15/13 8:42 PM
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The thing I'm working on a lot lately is to stop and actually listen to the positive messages people give me!!!
There are people in my life who like me I need to stop and take in what they say...
 
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MoMo
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7/15/13 8:44 PM
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But I might need some reassurance from time to time. My negative thinking gets me discouraged every now and then...
Thanks for having patience with me!
I'll be there for you too!
 
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Lasthope
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7/16/13 2:49 AM
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I know i get to these posts a little late sometimes (maybe its the time zone difference), but i still wish to have some input. Momo i know exactly ehat ure talking about. I also grew up with tons of criticism. Although i think u got it worse than me which kills me. It so sad that our self image was shaped by others when truly they should have no say in who we are. We were just young and impressionable and took in whatever was given to us. We have to figt that now and that is our work in this world! I wish you woul see and internalize all the positive messages you just got here and get from the people around you that care. You are a special good person, undersanding, insightful, caring, smart, funny. And i dont even "know" you! Dont doubt your posts here and expressing yourself. You are helping more people than you realize.
 
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MoMo
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7/16/13 3:39 AM
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Last hope, I appreciate your input!
Have an easy fast (if you're fasting..)

I find it so so so so hard to see my negative perceptions as non-reality based. Logically you are right but my head really thinks it's real...
 
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Lasthope
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7/16/13 6:14 AM
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i have the same problem! Our work is teach our hearts all that logic that our brain knows. And ask Hashem to help us, cuz He can make miracles and heal us!
thanks, I am fasting and it's ok so far B"H. It's Nice to be ahead, only 7 hours left!
 
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channafofanna
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7/16/13 3:58 PM
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What did I say?!?!?!? I was being serious!!!!
MoMo, just let us know when its time to reassure you and well be there, k? (same goes to anyone else reading this )
 
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MoMo
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7/16/13 4:20 PM
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Thank you Channa!
 
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mouse
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7/17/13 7:54 PM
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I just read your first post, MoMo...I was a bit in shock thinking, "who is this dude???? Def. not MoMo." It never occured to me to see you in any of the ways you posted. I like what you contribute to the forum and always look forward to your sense of humor. I see you as a real person; not some fake idiot who posts self-boosting posts to show how wonderful you are and crappy we are. You are so not and of the things you mentioned in your first post. You post provocative questions (in the positive way) and get me thinking about stuff I wouldn't ordinarily think about (but should.) I think you're an awesome asset to the forum and without you, I'd feel a degree of loneliness. You are one of a few reasons I keep coming back after a prolonged abssence. I hope one day you see yourself the way I do. There are a bunch of you out there I must admit to having the same hope for. You know who you are.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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7/19/13 12:13 AM
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were you ever in a relationship that caused you self doubt?

I go to a group therapy meeting and your is a Girl in the group that seems to like me. for a while we were in touch via text message for the past two and a half weeks I stopped messaging her I didn't think it was a productive relationship.

last night I succumbed and had a long conversation with her she was Not nice to me and criticize me for a few things. I finished the conversation with a terrible feeling. I have a very difficult day today as a result.

she is not a kind person and blames other people very easily. I find her almost toxic But I don't have anyone else so she is still attractive to me it's a crazy situation

for now I am discontinuing the relationship I hope I have the strength not to succumb again...
 
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HopefulMommy
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7/19/13 12:39 AM
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That's really hard, Momo! I feel for you. Stay strong! And don't let her negativity get to you. There is only one of her, and there are many more of us who think very highly of you.
 
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MoMo
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7/19/13 12:53 AM
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okay thank you!
 
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emunahdoj
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7/19/13 3:07 AM
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Momo- I think that worrying that others are annoyoed by us or don't like us is a huge problem tht most of us on this forumn and mot people similar to us have. I am definetely like that- I am contstantly thinking that people don't like me or that people are annoyed by me.

Just to let you know- I really like what you contribute to this forumn and enjoy reading yoru posts
 
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mouse
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MoMo....you need someone who is supportive of you NO MATTER WHAT. Even if you are somewhat wrong on something, there is something to be said about a spouse who keeps mouth shut on topic or doesn't talk about it unless brought asked specifically. That's what I think. I could be wrong. I've been in relationships that have made me feel like less of a human. I also cut them off very, very quickly. One person's MOM told her she was doing that to me and she STILL did it. Needless to say, the calls and friendship ended. While dating, I met guys who I felt were "too good" for me and that once they knew me they'd divorce me (not a totally unbalanced thought in these cases.) I ended the relationship without saying why. One guy (with whom I had gone out 15 times with before breaking up) landed up marrying a good friend who is similar to me but without the imbalances. I was really happy for him (and still am) since I know he got what he neeeded. I wish I could have been that person, but I alas am not. I'm married to someone who loves me unconditionally and makes me feel special. He wakes every morning and says how wonderful I am...even if I was toattlly mean the night before. He's great.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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8/2/13 11:29 AM
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Why didn't I see this post till now?

Wow Munkster!!
You are so lucky to have a spouse like that!!!

I might end up breaking it off with the girl I'm currently dating because she's too good for me...

Were you nervous when dating that once they knew your real story that they'll reject you?
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/2/13 11:34 AM
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Do not break off with the girl because she's too good for you! That's for her to decide, not for you! She might see you in a much more positive light than you're seeing yourself.
 
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keep climbing
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8/2/13 12:13 PM
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Please, Momo, don't break off. She might be your basherte, and you don't want to throw that away, chas veshalom......
 
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Mimi1022
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8/2/13 6:47 PM
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If your posts annoyed me I just wouldn't respond to them. Or I would get off the Internet.
 
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