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TOPIC TITLE: Overwhelmed
Created On 7/26/13 4:17 PM
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MoMo
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7/26/13 4:17 PM
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I had a bunch of things I had to do today but I did only a fraction!
I'm just too overwhelmed.

Things are too hard for me. I am not managing!
I want to curl up in bed for a few days.

College is too overwhelming
Relationships are too overwhelming
My social anxiety is too overwhelming
Managing my finances is way too overwhelming

Oy! What's going to be with me?!?!

I feel sick


Edited: 7/26/13 at 4:17 PM by MoMo
 
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TBear
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7/26/13 4:53 PM
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MoMo

Try focusing on what you did do...

Don't know, just you seem to be relentless in how you judge yourself.... I know when I look at all of my "stuff" together - the aggregate is overwhelming, and I feel like quitting - but when I break it down into little tasks - then celebrate each I do.... it gives me more energy to do another task....

Have a restful Shabbos to re-energize you
 
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keep climbing
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7/26/13 5:55 PM
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Momo, I also have a whole list of problems and if I would focus on them, I wouldn't get out of bed either. (So does everybody else.) But i think most people know how to distract themselves automatically, while we drown.......
So, I'm learning slowly to distract myself, treat myself to good things, reach out for help......
It's a lifetime's work.
Do something good for yourself. You deserve it. You moved away from your harmful enviroment. You're going to school. You are a great guy. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
 
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MoMo
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7/26/13 6:35 PM
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It's so sad that I have to go through this crippling worry!!
I miss my old therapist I just made up to meet him this Wednesday but I hope I manage till then..

I have to be a guest for the shabbos meals (if I don't want to be alone) I am dreading it!!
I just took some tranquilizers maybe that will help

I've been in bed for the past 2-3 hrs
I wish I knew how to relax and distract myself

I am missing a sense of security that things will just be ok!
I am alone and was never given that reassurance growing up and I also have so many obstacles that stop me from living normally and from things just working out.

But you guys are right that I don't yet know how to just put things into perspective and relax
 
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MoMo
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7/28/13 4:05 AM
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I had a difficult Shabbos but while I was tempted to isolate myself I went to relatives for the seudas..
I did the best I could.

I will be meeting my therapist on Monday I think it might help me a little.

I'm in a down mode the past few days but I'm trying my best...

Have me in mind y'all
 
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HopefulMommy
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7/28/13 10:06 AM
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You're doing great, Momo! Hope you feel better soon! Good luck with the therapist appointment!
 
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MoMo
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7/28/13 2:07 PM
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I am a loser and a weirdo
I used to think that at least I'm good at school and studying but lately I can't concentrate and can't focus and I'm terribly slow.
There are these lab classes and I'm always the slowest!

I am terrible socially I have no friends.
I am getting weirder and weirder..

I didn't get out of bed today
I want to escape it all
 
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keep climbing
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7/28/13 2:53 PM
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((((HUGS))))
Oy, Momo. I feel for you. It's awful to feel so horrible.
Can you just get out for a little?
Just a tiny step to fight this monster..Don't give in to it. Please.
We're all Thinking of youand rooting for you.
You are not alone.
 
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HopefulMommy
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7/28/13 4:14 PM
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None of us here see you as a loser or a weirdo. That's your depression speaking. Don't believe it!
 
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mouse
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7/29/13 7:18 AM
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MoMo, I just read your first post in this section. You can't do everything in one day. First off, make sure youhave a light load in college. Second make lists so you can stay focused and do what is most importnat first. Third, recognize you are conquering a lot. Even one of those things is a lot for me. Just go easier on yourself. REALLY.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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7/29/13 7:19 AM
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Oh yeah, and Hashem created each of us as individuals. What you call weird is just an individual trait. One that your future wife will LOVE .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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I'mTrying
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7/29/13 2:19 PM
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MoMo, to be perfectly honest, you sound like the kind of guy I would want to marry. No joke! I admire you a lot and concur with the others here- that you are judging yourself WAY too much...
 
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MoMo
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7/29/13 5:45 PM
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WishIcouldbenormal, that is the ultimate compliment!
What do you see in me that I'm not seeing?

You guys are 100% correct I expect way too much from myself!!

I want to lower my expectations in college. I don't need A's
I want to try to be ok with imperfection -it's so hard for me!!!



 
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I'mTrying
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7/29/13 6:10 PM
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What do i see?
I see someone who is fighting the odds to be the best he can be.
Someone who is hurting, lonely, sad, anxious and yet tries to keep a sense of perspective.
Someone who is fighting for his life, and is also not satisfied with just getting past the pain. Someone who wants truly to fulfill his purpose in this world- whatever that may end up being. Even if that would mean giving up expectations of what "doing my best" meant in the past.
Someone who is not giving up!!!!
Someone who responds sensitively, wisely and compassionately to others' posts.
In my opinion, Someone Special.
That is all completely sincere and not exaggerated. And I have no doubt that there is more under the surface.
You are an asset to this world, and I admire you.
I'mTrying (my new screen name-- when admin lets me know how to change it


Edited: 7/29/13 at 6:12 PM by I'mTrying
 
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MoMo
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7/29/13 6:27 PM
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Thank you for elaborating!

I grew up with extreme extreme criticism so it's very hard for me to see positive in myself..
I was brainwashed to believe that I am worthy only of criticism...

Even when I hear positive feedback it takes a lot of work to accept it.
But I owe it to you to do my best to hear what you're saying.
I'm going to print out what you wrote and read it over a few Times maybe then it'll penetrate a little...

Thank you for your time!

I hope you find a truly special boy to marry!!!
 
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I'mTrying
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7/29/13 6:29 PM
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Thank you, Momo. And the same to you
 
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MoMo
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7/29/13 6:33 PM
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Well I'm actually not looking for a special boy ;-)
 
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I'mTrying
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7/29/13 6:34 PM
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Heheheh
And I didn't add that you're also funny
 
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wishtobehappy
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7/29/13 7:24 PM
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I agree with every word. One day you'll learn to see yourself for who you really are. Same for you wish.
 
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mouse
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7/29/13 9:37 PM
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Amen to wish.....may we all be zocheh to see ourselves for who we are positively.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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7/30/13 12:10 AM
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Amen!!!
May we be zocha to really see our strengths, know our true value, and feel that we are worthy of love and connection just the way we are!!!
 
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MoMo
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7/30/13 7:54 PM
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So I spent tons of time today studying. I really gave it my all.
A part of me says that its worthless because I did only a fraction of what I need to know.
I know this isn't the healthy way to see it.

What's odd is that not knowing everything perfectly creates real anxiety and sadness. I can feel it now. I almost feel like crying for not being good enough (not knowing everything perfectly). I've felt these exact feelings as a child when I wasn't perfect in school.

When you lack a basic sense of worth and security -perfectionism can mimic that.

I guess I am facing my deep wounds of insecurity and doubt of my self worth...

Nu. At least I know what's going on...
 
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Lasthope
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7/31/13 12:51 AM
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Yes u are very aware and that is an important step. You are inspiring. Dont be afraid to feel the negative feelings. Experience them and talk back to them. Tell them how good you really are. Tell them you dont have to be perfect to be loved. Fight them with positive feelings about yourself. Im trying to build up my sense of self worth now cuz even at age 30 its never too late. I can be my own parent as well as Hashem who loves me unconditionally. Keep strong!
 
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mouse
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8/2/13 2:45 PM
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OK...a step forward. At least you know on some levelthe insecurity and self worth thingy isn't what it is in reality. You know what your thoughts are don't match what reality is. You are special and unique (just like every one of us) and bring something to this world. Now if only I could remember that one .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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