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TOPIC TITLE: Victories II
Created On 7/30/13 10:01 PM
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MoMo
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7/30/13 10:01 PM
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The victories thread was getting too long so I started a new one.

I'll go first:

1) I showed up to college today and invested a lot of effort.

2) I did an imperfect job (I am working on trying to accept imperfection).

3) I opened up to my father about my financial difficulties. He said that he'll work with me towards a solution.

4) I ate some healthy foods.

I'm trying!

You guys are next...
 
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keep climbing
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7/31/13 6:03 AM
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Yay, Momo! That's great!

I got upset at something, but didn't let it overtake me. I pushed myself to keep moving, no matter what I feel.
That's very challenging for me. I'd rather give up and drown in my feelings. I have to encourage myself that I can continue, no matter what I'm feeling.
 
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I'mTrying
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7/31/13 7:46 AM
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Good for both of you!!
 
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Mimi1022
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Because of the nature of my work, people are constantly telling me mishugas. (Think of a lawyer who has to deal with criminals who lie to them the whole day)

I had someone I was evaluating today who instead of telling me these stories like everyone else just told me none of my questions mattered and refused to answer anything else. I could not continue with her evaluation. Instead of ruminating over my frustration in not having my work complete, I went out and had teriyaki salmon for lunch. Took my mind off of her and besides- no one else on my team wanted to deal with her!
 
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MoMo
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I exercised discipline by waking up on time and showing up to classes.
I practiced imperfection by doing some class work very imperfectly.
 
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keep climbing
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That's teriffic, Momo!
 
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HopefulMommy
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That's great!

I can't think of anything. I tried to go to sleep an hour earlier last night, but couldn't fall asleep . I guess I tried.
 
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MoMo
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Hopeful mom, There has to be some things you did today that you would admire if you saw it in someone else. If you push yourself on a daily basis to come up with 2 positive things then over time you'll automatically think more positively about yourself which will decrease your depression...
 
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HopefulMommy
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Thanks Momo! I just went shopping and remembered to buy something my daughter asked for.
 
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keep climbing
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Hopeful, I'm glad that you got out of the house.... I was scared that you are cemented to your computer, working on the book.
Just kidding!
 
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HopefulMommy
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mouse
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I stayed up past 6 PM . (Got migraine now as a result, but at least I tried.) I tried (unsuccesfully) to do something fun with my kids....but I tried at least. I took care of myself and went to a doctor...something I hate doing.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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keep climbing
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Good for you, munkster. And refuah shelaimah. It's tough to feel like that.
 
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MoMo
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Munkster, why didn't the fun with your kids work?
P.s. you sound like you know how to have a good time were you always like that? I want to be more like that :-)
 
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HopefulMommy
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Refua sheleima, munkster!
 
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MoMo
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Oy Munkster I just saw on another thread that you aren't doing too well..
Refua Shlaima!!!!!
 
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mouse
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the fun didn't work out cuz all the local camps had the same idea for a rainy day and the place was packed. ....Also, I wasn't feeling well enough to do anything else. on the upside though, i may not have anxiety, it may be gastritis since i had a high white blood cell count .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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I overcame my difficulties and davened with minyon.
I put in effort to be productive (go to class, do some homework) despite depressive thoughts lurking in the background...
 
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toy123
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Mo Mo you're really trying your hardest seems like....


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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mouse
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woohoooo MoMo...I began preparing for a birthday party for my kids even though I was VERY tired and depressed and just not interested.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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keep climbing
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Great job, Munkster!!!
 
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frumsw
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I worked hard to make a nice birthday party for my son and then everybody just talked about all different kinds of stuff-not giving him much special attention. Today, I was thinking about it and started getting annoyed at my husband for not getting up and saying something in honor of the occasion but I decided to give him the benefit of doubt and give up my dreams of perfection.


-------------------------
frumsw
 
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Mimi1022
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This isn't really a "victory" but I came across a client today who owes $300,000 in back taxes and is having his house taken away. I felt terrible for him and realized how forunate I am. I guess it's hard I get depressed from that perspective!
 
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Mimi1022
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This isn't really a "victory" but I came across a client today who owes $300,000 in back taxes and is having his house taken away. I felt terrible for him and realized how forunate I am. I guess it's hard I get depressed from that perspective!
 
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mouse
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yikes mimi. that's a hair raiser!!!!
frumsw..good to see you back..haven't seen u here for a bit (or is it just me???) Your situation was rough. but taking the high road probably was best rather than the blame game.
thanks keep climbing for the encouragement.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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today i drove to NY (a big thing for me) to bring my kids somewhere fun. I feel like I made them happy so mission accomplished.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Munkster, it's do heartwarming that you do so much for your children! Always trying to give them a good time!
If my mother did a fraction of what you do I probably wouldn't be posting on a depression forum!
 
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mouse
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I try but often I fail...therefore, yeah, I post when I succeed with making my kids happy. No parent is perfect....I wish it but since there is no handbook, it's all trial and error. I'm doing the best I can, but today was a downer for my kids. They were charlie horse and sore from yesterday's activity. I feel though at least I'm not the only lazy bones in the family today .


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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I did Shabbos and even said Divrei Torah by Shalosh Seudas.
I met up with an old acquaintance and b"h it went very very ok.
 
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I'mTrying
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YAY!
Overcoming social "phobias" is a biggie!
 
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mouse
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I decided to give my brother benefit of the doubt. He went snoopiing on a computer of mine and found out about this site. He DOESN"T know I know for sure he did this. I'm going to give him benefit of thedoubt that he doesn't snoop into my life by getting on here too much. Way I see it is he'll be so disturbed that if he did it he will have to deal with it.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Thanks trying!
I need to appreciate every small step and social phobia is my main block..

Munkster, your family doesn't know about your struggles?
 
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mouse
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Not really...not officially at least. I'm not sure what they think or know. They know of one hospitalization but besides that, clueless.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Truth is that my family also doesn't know the extent. It's sad that we aren't/can't be open about such a difficult aspect of our lives.
Is there any way we can be open and honest?
 
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MoMo
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On another note:
I took a small step in the right direction by getting myself out of bed -for me right now that took some discipline
 
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MoMo
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Munkster, does your husband know?
 
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mouse
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Yes he knows....no way he couldn't...I've been in the hospital several times. My kids don't know though...They're too young to really understand. I'm not sure it's good to tell my family what's going on....they won't get it and it won't be helpful to me. So why bother???

Glad u avoided the black hole of the bed ...I mean once in there it just swallows you up!!!


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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These days its an accomplishment for me to just get out of bed (since I've spent the past few days in bed :-(

Today, I pushed myself to daven with minyon.
I tutored a teenager.

I am in the midst of a clinical depression without hashem's help I'll be stuck in bed.
I daven that Hashem give me the strength of heart and will to get out of bed tomorrow.
May Hashem help us all move forward and actualize our potential!!!

I pray that I don't blame myself for my current depressive state. Hashem please help us accept what you throw our way. Please save us from self blame and guilt which further hinders our ability to be the best that we can be.
Please teach us how to go through depression with dignity and meaning. Help us feel your presence in our darkness.

 
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HopefulMommy
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That's inspiring Momo! And those victories are great! It's amazing that you're able to give to another by tutoring.
 
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MoMo
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Thank you Hopeful mom!!!!
 
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keep climbing
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Hi, Momo.
Just one foot in front of the other. One hour at atime.
This struggle is NOT easy.
And lots of people are living like this-one hour at atime. All the recovering addicts......
It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one. I guess misery loves company.
And I truly pray you start feeling really better today.
Refuah shelaima!
 
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mouse
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Ya know what, MoMo....with depression and all you still took time out to help a teenager. That is humungous. I find depression makes it hard for me to give help outside daled amos. Giving help to someone else to me seems nearly impossible. I really admire you. And davening with a minyan is great. I find myself on Shabbos shying away from shul becuase social situations are so hard when I'm depressed. Just a thought.....you're doing better than what you give yourself credit for. I hope you take that as a compliment as I mean it as such, not as invalidating. I think you're amazing.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Edited: 8/20/13 at 6:14 PM by mouse
 
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MoMo
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Munkster, you have a valid point!
I am thankful that you take the time to respond -I can tell that you care and that means so much to me!
 
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MoMo
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Last night I got to sleep at a somewhat normal hour.
I pushed myself to get dressed and do an errand yesterday.
I tried reaching out to a friend.

A part of me feels terrible that I'm not doing more -but in this depressive state I don't know how feasible it is to do more...
 
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keep climbing
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This monster will always find something to make us feel terrible about.
That's his job, I guess.
 
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Mimi1022
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Sorry I didnt understand. What monster?
 
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Lasthope
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It is his job. He tries to take any negativity and multiply it by a billion leaving us completely overwhelmed. WE MUST FIGHT!!!
 
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keep climbing
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Yes. This is the mother of all wars!
 
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MoMo
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8/24/13 10:36 PM
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I did all three seudas.
I had some descent social interactions.
I stopped by my landlord to get to know them.
 
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channafofanna
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I let myself feel upset and posted even though I feel like ignoring everyone in the world
 
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