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TOPIC TITLE: Here I go again:
Created On 8/13/13 12:28 PM
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MoMo
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8/13/13 12:28 PM
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I am off from college.
I don't feel motivation to do anything.
I was in bed all day yesterday and all day today.

I hate being so dysfunctional!!

I can't think of anything to do...
Life seems less painful in bed.
But I'm just avoiding

How do I pull out of this??
How do I find a reason to get out of bed??
How do I make life less painful? Less lonely?
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 1:09 PM
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I feel guilty and embarrassed for staying in bed all day...
What would you do?
 
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Lasthope
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8/13/13 5:06 PM
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I would put on some music and just walk. And feel the guilt but then release it cuz its just causing more damage. Thats what i would do.
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 6:18 PM
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if hashem gives me the emotional strength I will iy"h go walking tonight or tomorrow morning

Thanks
 
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keep climbing
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8/13/13 7:44 PM
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I would make a schedule for myself of pleasurable activities, and force myself to stick to it. It doesn't have to be for the whole day. But at least for part of the day, I am being productive. Also, a daily routine is a lifesaver for me. Shower, excercise, daven, newspaper cw puzzle..... whatever works. If the routine is in place there's a much greater chance that I will stick to it.
And if you can, no getting into bed during the day. That is very hard, but very effective.
Good Luck! I know you can do it, Momo!
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 8:05 PM
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I don't feel fully up to it but I'm committing not to be in bed toady till 10pm
And tomorrow I'm going to have a schedule.

Shower
Daven
Breakfast
Read the news
Exercise
Learn
Meet up with a friend
Therapy session
And Group therapy session

I need siata dishmaya to be able to feel up to it...
I am going to try to allow my depressive thoughts but not let it stop me...

I don't know if I can do it but I want to try

Daven for me please
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/13/13 8:23 PM
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Really great suggestion, lasthope and keepclimbing. Momo, may Hashem give you the strength to persevere. I'll definitely have you in my prayers!
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 8:45 PM
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Thanks guys!

I just spent half an hour playing some soulful songs on my guitar...
I love the Barditchover niggun!
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/13/13 8:47 PM
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that's nice! what's the bardichever niggun?
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 9:23 PM
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It's a beautiful song that the Barditchever composed like two hundred years ago...

May he be a malitz yosher for all of us!!

I made up to learn with my chavrusa tomorrow..
So I won't have another stuck in bed day -with Hashem's help!!

I'm fighting an uphill battle to stay engaged in life and not hide out in bed...
Every step I take is worth millions and millions in Sh'mayim!!
Despite everything I'm trying and trying and trying and trying!!
I look up to people that don't give up and who get back up after a huge down...

I want to appreciate every small step I take!!!!

Together we can do what we cannot do alone!
 
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I'mTrying
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8/13/13 9:36 PM
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I know you can do it MoMo!
And if you don't manage to stick to the whole schedule, I know you can get past that and not beat yourself up... just to accept it as a human foible.
Hatzlacha! My thoughts are with you.
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/13/13 10:02 PM
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It's amazing that you're making plans and really fighting this desire to stay in bed. Good luck with it!
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/13/13 10:04 PM
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I second that. Momo, you're one strong person!

Is that the tune that's often sung to ka echsof noam shabbos?
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 10:14 PM
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I never heard it for Kah Echsof
That tune is also beautiful but I think that's from R' Aron Karliner..
Ask your husband I'm sure he knows the Barditchever nigun..
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 10:17 PM
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Thanks guys! especially wishIcouldbenormal!

I think I'm being too aggressive for my situation. You are right wish, I can aim to do all that but understand that even just some of those things is already an accomplishment
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/13/13 10:17 PM
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I sure will. He gets home from work really late and I don't always get to talk to him before I go to bed, and I was curious
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 10:27 PM
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Wish,
I just emailed you a youtube clip of that song
Can you watch you tube?
 
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I'mTrying
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8/13/13 10:28 PM
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MoMo-
I don't know if the word I would use to describe yourself is "aggressive". That sounds like an underhanded attempt at self-criticism
Have you been playing guitar long?
I love meeting musical ppl
 
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I'mTrying
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8/13/13 10:30 PM
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Puleez can i see it too?


Edited: 8/13/13 at 10:31 PM by I'mTrying
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 10:39 PM
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Sure!!
PM me your email address and I'll send you the clip...
 
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MoMo
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8/13/13 10:49 PM
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wishtobehappy
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8/14/13 9:15 AM
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I got it Momo, thanks!



Edited: 8/14/13 at 8:28 PM by wishtobehappy
 
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MoMo
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8/14/13 1:38 PM
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I couldn't get out of bed
I guess I'm in the grips of depression.
I want to beat myself up for failing so miserably.
I made up to learn with my chavrusa but didn't show up.

I have a therapy appointment soon -I have to travel to another town for it.

Hashem help me deal with my pain.
I want to function.
I messed up today -please forgive me and help me forgive myself.
Please help me heal and find joy in life.
Please listen to me!!! Don't ignore me forever!!!
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/14/13 2:13 PM
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Just wanted to let you know you're heard. May Hashem answer your prayers very soon!
 
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