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TOPIC TITLE: Victories III
Created On 8/26/13 12:39 AM
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MoMo
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8/26/13 12:39 AM
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Despite being in a depressive state I learned with 2 chavrusos.
I spent time with my brother.
I attended a Yeshiva gathering.
I want to get better.

Hashem see our pain and help us appreciate our efforts. Help us spread kindness and help us be of service to others. Help us make a positive impact.
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/26/13 12:56 AM
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Amein!! Those are huge victories, Momo!
 
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MoMo
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8/26/13 12:58 AM
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Thank you Hopeful mom!
How are you lately?
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/26/13 1:14 AM
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B"H better, now that I am home. Thanks for asking. Trying to get lots of things done, and let go of perfectionist tendencies. Getting ready for the upcoming school year. And the yamim tovim which are really early this year.
 
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MoMo
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Ok so glad to hear.
I'm rooting for you!!!
 
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HopefulMommy
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8/26/13 8:42 AM
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Thanks!
 
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MoMo
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I am still in a depressive state.
I slept all day today and didn't even put on Tefilin.
I feel stuck and out of options -I see no way out.

But I forced myself out at night to learn and I Davened Marriv with Minyon and met an old classmate and made it a point to schmooz with him.

I didn't even eat anything yet today.
 
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toy123
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8/28/13 12:13 AM
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I wanted to write a nasty comment to someone and I held myself back...


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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mouse
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8/28/13 3:19 PM
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I wanted to write a nasty comment too. I did it and don't feel too guilty....I guess I should, but when deserved, one gets on the receiving end.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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OK....there is that little something in my heart...not guilt, but perhaps something close to it that says I should take down a not so nice post. I think I will and call it a victory. I just wish the hateful stuff wasn't around since it gets me so mad.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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I'mTrying
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8/29/13 11:24 AM
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Good for you, Munkster.
Swallowing pride is not an easy thing to do...(speaking from experience...)
 
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I'mTrying
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On the same vein, I pulled out a bunch of quotes and was going to call out a member here on their many contradictory posts but pulled back at the last minute from pressing the 'reply' button which would have put it out with no way to take it back. I still wish i could do it, though.
 
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I'mTrying
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Scratch that. I posted it.
Is that a victory for me or the yetzer hara?
 
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gad
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8/29/13 2:02 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: I'mTrying
On the same vein, I pulled out a bunch of quotes and was going to call out a member here on their many contradictory posts but pulled back at the last minute from pressing the 'reply' button which would have put it out with no way to take it back. I still wish i could do it, though.


You may want to send that member a private message.

Sometimes it's important to vent, albeit in a constructive way.
Private messaging can be constructive, since it allows someone to vent, while avoiding a public scathing which can sometimes enflame things.
 
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I'mTrying
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Thanks, Gad.
I did post it, but after a few minutes of struggling decided to erase/edit it.
I hope it was not seen by too many people.
 
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mouse
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8/29/13 4:48 PM
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Awwww shucks, you mean I missed it!?!???? . Guess I'll have to get there before Gad next time .


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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8/29/13 6:24 PM
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Good for you!
You did the right thing!!
 
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I'mTrying
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Yup. Munkster, you missed the event of the century
Frankly, if I would have known i was going to edit it, I'd have been even more nasty...
Oh well.



 
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mouse
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8/30/13 10:16 AM
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OK folks. I did something difficult for me -- asked mechila from all of you in a different post. It is especially hard since I tend almost ALWAYS think I'm right and the world is wrong.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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I davened with minyon a few times!
I got a bit better socially.
I put myself out there socially.
I am trying to cultivate more self love and compassion


Edited: 9/1/13 at 3:03 AM by MoMo
 
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mouse
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That's awesome, MoMo....keep up the good stuff. .

I went to the doctor today and took care of myself. A biggie in this case.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Despite depression I practiced discipline:
Woke up in time
Didn't really sleep during the day
Did some important errands
 
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keep climbing
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Yay! You are doing great, Momo.
 
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mouse
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Yesterday for the first time I was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed. I still see it as a victory though since I didn't do anything harmful (other than rest, which I may have needed.) I landed up feeling better once my kids came home and told me some funny stuff about school. I woke up today full of energy and started cooking at 4:30 am like my old self. I'm glad I just sat on the sad feelings and dealt with it. I think it may have been a physical reaction to an infection which is now clearing up. (Hoping that's what it is and not a manic depressive like thingy going on.) Anyhoooo, just wanted to share that there are times you may stay in bed and feel horrible but things can work out iin the end anyhow.

MoMo -- glad u got up in time and stuff. I now understand the staying in bed thingy better. Usually I'm first one up, yesterday, I could barely move.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Wow good going Munkster!!!
 
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MoMo
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Got up on time.
Gave a ride to teenagers in need.
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/9/13 10:27 PM
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That's great Momo!
 
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mouse
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That was so nice of you to give a ride to some teenagers. .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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9/10/13 11:18 PM
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Today I:

Showed up on time for the things I had to tend to.
I exercised -which is very hard for me.
I took risks socially.

I introduced myself to other frum people at college.
I exercised discipline by putting aside time to study.
I ate some healthy foods.
Most importantly I was engaged with life -I was out and about!!!

What are some of your victories?
 
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toy123
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9/10/13 11:57 PM
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I have no victories. Unfortunately I can't seem to do anything good oh well typical...


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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mouse
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9/11/13 6:44 AM
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MoMo...awesome...you sound quite busy. Toy...you must have done something right. You reached out for help by coming on and posting here. How about that? It doesn't have to be big and monumental just something almost inconsequential to others but big for you.

I went to back to school night with my husband. I was social and even though there were some awkward moments, I weathered them through.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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The Back to School night can be tough. Good for you, munkster!

Momo, that's great that you introduced yourself to others. I always feel awkward introducing myself.

Toy, I agree with munkster. You posted here, and that's a victory.

I've been mostly busy just keeping up with everything. But I did finally catch up with the laundry backlog after Yom Tov. And I cleaned up and organized the toys that got all mixed up.
 
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toy123
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I finally got an interview for housing and it did make me happy and bring up my mood a bit.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/11/13 12:31 PM
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B"H! That's great! Good luck with that!
 
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MoMo
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9/11/13 1:32 PM
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Toy,
I think it's awesome that you are able to feel good about something (anything) even if it's small.

I know that it's helpful to me when I can cajole myself to see small positives. It's hard to do -sometimes impossible.
 
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MoMo
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9/12/13 12:11 AM
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I tended to my responsibilities.
I worked on developing a more understanding attitude towards myself.
I took social risks (went out for dinner with an acquaintance).
I reached out to people.
I allowed myself to feel honored that an old classmate called me up that he wants to be my Chavrusa.
I did an errand for someone in need.
I had an honest and open conversation with a sibling in order to repair the relationship -b"h I succeeded in that regard.

Am I being haughty?
I am sort of using this as my diary to work on recognizing the positives. I not trying to show off. In fact I would have no problem listing many more negative....
 
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gad
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It's important to be aware of one's positive accomplishments. That's not haughtiness. It's making an honest evaluation. And it helps our self esteem, and gives us encouragement and motivation to do more good things.

Haughtiness is when a person attributes his accomplishments to his own power.
When a person realizes that he was able to accomplish because Hashem gave him the ability to, that's being realistic.
And when we feel that, if someone else had been given our talents and ability, that person would have accomplished much more, that is humility.

May you go from strength to strength to accomplish many more good things.
Gemar chasima toivo
 
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mouse
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9/12/13 7:37 AM
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Over the past few days, I cleaned the kitchen and started on a few other rooms. (My house is rather messy .)


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Wow munkster it's great that you can see a partial improvement as improvement!

Thank you Gad!!! (you do sound like a Rabbi though ;-)
 
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mouse
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thanks MoMo...seriously, if you knew what my house looked like you'd understand why I'm happy with partial improvement. Tomorrow I have an organzier coming to help me organize things better.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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btw, anyone else have trouble posting in other sections???? I wrote a post 2x in another section and don't see it posted now. ......it's like they aren't sticking in personlity disorder section .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Accomplishments:

Got to College early and studied!
I ate lunch with a classmate.
I faced and dealt with my difficulties surrounding studying.
I played music.
 
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HopefulMommy
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That's great!

I made a list of what I'm cooking for tomorrow. Now I actually need to do it .
 
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MoMo
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9/13/13 12:53 AM
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Nu so what are you cooking?
Make some extra for me.
 
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mouse
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I started cooking early since I have an organizer coming today.
I replied to a bar mitzvah invitation. This was difficult to do and dicey due to a recent divorce (not mine -- theirs.)
I woke up at the "right time"....not too early or too late. 10 min. early isn't so bad in my book.
I did kaparos for myself and with my kids.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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OK, this is a biggie. Every time during Yom Kippur I started dwelling and obsessing over all the bad I've done, I derailed the thought train with steps I'm going to take this year to help others and do chesed and other good. I even called someone before Yom Kippur to offer my help so that I'd have something to remember that I already worked toward. I still had a rough YK, but nowhere near as bad as other years.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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That's big!
I also had a better Yom Kippur than previous years.
Maybe that's good enough?
 
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mouse
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You got a point when you say "good enough." We probably shouldn't aim for perfect considering it's a fast day and considering we shouldn't be perfectionists. (It doesn't help anything and can only hurt.) So, I hope next year YK is also, "good enough ."

Accomplishment for the day: I cleaned the room for my father in law. Not easy considering it was DIRTY . I didn't realize it had gotten so gross or I would have done it sooner. Also, I talked to my sister and didn't feel the need to compare myself to her.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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I'mTrying
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In my mind, "good enough" means as close as a human can get to letting go and letting God.
I believe that after doing what is in one's capacity to accomplish, "letting go and letting God" is exactly what Hashem wants.
+10000 to Momo and Munkster!
Munkster- I admire that you could speak to your sister and not compare yourself to her. That's really difficult.
 
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MoMo
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I exercised discipline by studying.
I added meaning to my life by building myself a Sukka.
I ate some healthy foods.
 
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