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TOPIC TITLE: Rosh Hashana is coming and I'm really depressed
Created On 9/3/13 1:50 PM
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mouse
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9/3/13 1:50 PM
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I find myself looking back at myself through the years every Rosh Hashana. I must admit this year I am more gloomy than ever. I've almost always had a problem with depression (whether self-inflicted or not) and now I look back and more than half my life has past. I've gotten help for more than half my life almost. Yet I'm still depressed. I am scared of dying alone and scared the way at least one of my parents died. I'm scared of dying and paying for all the bad I have done on this earth. I'm so sad. I look at my life and see nothing has come of it. The only degree I ever earned I think I almost deserve is my M.O.M. But even there I'm a dismal failure. I have one child who still sleeps in my bed at night at age 11 and all she wants is family suppers -- something I just can't get together. She even asked last year to "earn" family supper. I tried so hard but could only do so much. I feel like a failure. I just want to curl up and die so I don't cause more damage.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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9/3/13 2:07 PM
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Oy!

I wonder what your children would say to that. They want and need you so much.
You must be doing something right of your kids want family dinners. The last thing I want is a family dinner with my mom!!!
 
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Mimi1022
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9/3/13 2:36 PM
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Hopefully this will be a successful year for you.

Wishing you all the best!
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/3/13 4:36 PM
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I agree with Momo. If your 11 year olds like being around you that is an accomplishment in itself.
 
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I'mTrying
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9/3/13 4:40 PM
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I, too agree. When I want to be around my mother it's a very good sign.
I don't know if this is totally out of the ballpark, but is your daughter interested in cooking? If the togetherness is what she wants, maybe her putting together a supper will do the job? and make her feel good about herself to boot


Edited: 9/3/13 at 4:41 PM by I'mTrying
 
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