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TOPIC TITLE: Tipping Point
Created On 11/27/13 6:43 PM
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MoMo
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11/27/13 6:43 PM
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A family member of mine is emotionally unstable. He was violent with me and I'm shaken up I can't get back to myself.

I am so shaken up. I can't handle violence and strife. This is on top of all the pain I'm already going through.

 
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TBear
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11/27/13 9:33 PM
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Don't know what to say- but I am so sorry

Most important - take care of yourself.... be safe

Can you distance yourself from him?
 
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keep climbing
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11/28/13 1:35 PM
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Momo, how's today going?
 
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MoMo
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11/28/13 4:19 PM
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Thanks guys!
I'm cruising along till the storm subsides.

When I look at the big picture I did progress over the last 6 months.. I guess I hit a snag. Nu.
I miss you guys so much!!

Whats going on in your lives KeepClimbing and TBear?
 
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keep climbing
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11/28/13 7:51 PM
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My life? Lots of ups and downs. It's very difficult. I never know what the day will bring. I can have a great few days and then I hope that it will last.
Then I slip back into the depressive mood, and when I'm there I CAN"T see out and I think, this is going to stay.
I want to scream, but that doesn't help either.

Thanx for your support, everyone. I really need it.
 
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TBear
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11/28/13 9:02 PM
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Thank you so much for asking....

It is good to try to step back and cruise through.... MoMo - you have great perspective! Seems you always come back with a healthy response even to the unhealthy situation, after giving it some thought - you are inspiring.

I am with you Keep climbing - ups and downs..... guess the object is to make the good stuff last longer and gradually leave the depressive stuff behind.... at least that has been my hope.

Progress seems so slow at times - missed coming here even though I come sporadically, when the site was down. Do appreciate the support -

Take Care - and Happy Chanukah! miracles are around us and with us at every moment even when it is sometimes harder to see - I have been trying to dwell on every little good thing (without of course denying the bad) seems to help.
 
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MoMo
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11/29/13 2:36 AM
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TBear thanks!
KeepClimbing, would a therapy group help you?

I am in a rut. My therapist tells me I need to be more understanding and patient with myself. I know that part of my problem becomes being angry at myself for functioning less than before or getting depressed that I can actually fall so low.. So then I get down about being down.

My landlord called me to tell me that he wasn't happy that I let a friend use my apartment when I wasn't there. I felt so small the criticism hurt. It's scary that I am so vulnerable and have so little back bone.
Oy vey. A part of me despises myself for being so weak.

The question really is: How do you learn to accept and respect a hurt, vulnerable, and broken human being (yourself)?
Am I overly critical of myself like my therapist suggests? Is all the shame and guilt and self loathing I experience is it all abusive voices from the past or is there some truth to it. Maybe I really am a messed up, unattractive, despicable person.

It's hard to really know.

Self acceptance. Self acceptance. Self acceptance.

I see people that lack severely in certain areas but are able to accept themselves. Somehow they feel they have value and are worthy of being respected and loved despite their shortcomings. Some people seem totally oblivious to their shortcomings I only wish I was like that!

I'm at my parents' home for the weekend -somehow this made me lose my footing. I'm back to wasting my life away on my laptop and isolating from the world. This waste of time freaks me out!!! But I FEEL paralyzed. I don't want to waste my life ive done way too much of that. But the guilt and pressure isn't good either.
 
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keep climbing
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11/29/13 5:18 AM
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Momo. you are probably right. Group therapy might help. Here we go again=do you know of a group in Bklyn?

I also struggle A LOT with self acceptance. It's an ongoing battle, but I do see it getting better.
The book, Self Compassion. by Kristen Neff, helped me a lot on that front.

Hatzlacha! Thanx, Momo! Tbear.
 
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MoMo
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11/29/13 5:37 AM
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Ok I'll check out that brook iyh
Also Iyh I'm going to buy a light box.

Let's both try to keep in mind that while we can't always envision the good days -if we ride the waves we'll rise again (and even if we don't ride the waves the sea will yet see calmer waters).

I told a friend: On good days we gotta remember that we will still have bad days and on bad days we gotta remember that we will still have good days.
 
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mouse
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11/29/13 2:05 PM
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I'm sorry I didn't read this post till now. I'm not sure what to say other than def. put distance between you and the unstable relative. You don't need that right now. What are you doing Sunday to distract yourself? Any community Chanukah parties you can go to (if your family doesn't have one???) Try to make some plans. Perhaps check out a good museum or something. Def. get a jelly donut (or a dozen )


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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11/29/13 3:32 PM
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Thanks!

Sunday evening an uncle is making a get together -perhaps I'll join.
If necessary I'm gonna go watch a movie to keep myself busy.
I'm gonna invite myself over to relatives if necessary! even though I don't like ASKING for invitations but if I need it to break my isolation then I'll do it!!!

I wish I could eat Jelly donuts yummm but I'm on a diet (which would be nice if I can take this diet seriously)
Come to think of it I don't want to totally deprive myself either so maybe I'll eat ONE doughnut very very slowly so that I enjoy it...

We should have a FrumSupport Chanukah party I'm gonna start a new thread for it..

Happy Chanukah!!!
You guys are my virtual family!!
I love you all to pieces!!!
 
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mouse
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11/30/13 6:19 PM
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....Sounds like you got a plan going for not isolating .....GOOD FOR YOU!!!! I'm going to an aunt's house for a chanukah party. I'm really excited. Bought the a nice gift. I want to keep it so badly for myself .


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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12/1/13 6:05 AM
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Dont you think you deserve a gift too? Maybe buy one for
yourself too..

Happy Chanuka hug to all (((((((HUG)))))))
 
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