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TOPIC TITLE: Betrayal
Created On 1/13/14 9:40 AM
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Cutiestarr
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1/13/14 9:40 AM
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My mother committed identity fraud against me at 2 banks. Since I found this out it has been difficult to cope.

It was a shock to my system. How could my mother betray me? I am so distressed that I have physical pain. My mother is a criminal. There is an ingoing investigation.

How can I reconcile her actions with her saying she just really "cares" about me?


The second part of this question is that my psychiatrist says he will not prescribe drugs. He says to deal with it through psychotherapy skills. How can I deal with a trauma through psychotherapy skills?

Please someone answer...
 
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keep climbing
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1/13/14 12:57 PM
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(((HUGS))))
That's soooo hard!
I think trauma isn't usuallly treated with meds. Do you have a therapist ? Maybe Relief can help.
 
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Cutiestarr
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1/13/14 1:03 PM
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Thank you so much

I do have a therapist but in the meantime the shock made me physically sick. My muscles became so inflamed by doctor had to prescribe an emergency supply of steroids. I broke out in hives. I have nightmares, sleeping problems, and gastrointestinal issues, all having started when I found this out.

Anti-anxiety meds for a few days would allow me to relax and get my mind off of criminal investigations and talking to banks all day. But yes you are right in the long term therapy is a better solution

I posted here because I just wanted to reach out for support during this very tough time
 
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toy123
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1/13/14 1:08 PM
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First of all about the med question ask Dr. Price. You can also ask Dr. Lynn but he hasn't been on in a while....

About the investigation I don't really have much to say. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you. Stay strong!!!!!

I'm thinking about you and sending you much needed (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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MoMo
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1/13/14 1:37 PM
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This sounds terrible. So sorry!!!
In what way did she commit identity fraud? What was she trying to accomplish? Did you talk to her about it? What does she say?
 
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Cutiestarr
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1/13/14 8:30 PM
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She faked an ID and withdrew a $15,000 loan under my name.

Yes, I spoke with her. She has no remorse or regrets. Actually she is in complete denial, says the bank is ridiculous, and says I abuse her. Her tactic is to shift the blame on me. The police think differently I guess.

Some people assume because it's someone's mother they must be empathic, understanding, and nurturing. But just as I would not treat a stranger who was a criminal with empathy, so too my mother lacks any feeling for her victims - whether it be someone on the street or her own child. I actually view this as more sick, because if a stranger commits a crime against me they don't know me, but if my own mother does it means she lacks basic human emotions - like guilt. I consider her dangerous as any other criminal, and do not give her more credit just because of her relation to me.
 
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MoMo
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1/13/14 10:48 PM
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That's terrible!!!!!
I agree with every word you said!!!!

Very often people simply don't believe me when I describe how my parents acted. It's very hard for people to accept that parents can actually be heartless and act cruely. Its a sad fact that while most parents instinctively love their children and wouldn't harm them some parents unfortionately don't have those natural feelings....

What does the police say?
 
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Cutiestarr
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1/14/14 5:10 PM
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Thank you, it means a lot.

Police said file an identity fraud alert on my credit report and a restraining order against her.
 
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keep climbing
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1/15/14 11:46 AM
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How are you doing today, Cutiestar?
 
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Cutiestarr
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1/15/14 12:38 PM
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A bit down
 
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keep climbing
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1/15/14 12:45 PM
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Did you get anxiety meds?
 
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Cutiestarr
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1/15/14 2:33 PM
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Nope. P-doc says deal with it. Tough love, eh?
 
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HopefulMommy
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1/16/14 1:23 AM
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Wow, that's awful! (((Hugs)))
 
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channafofanna
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1/19/14 9:06 AM
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((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))
Nothing else to say... stay strong!!!
 
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wishtobehappy
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1/19/14 10:00 AM
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Sounds really tough. You doing any better cutie?
 
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