Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: Group therapy Frustrations
Created On 1/16/14 1:04 AM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


MoMo
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1497
Joined: May 2009

1/16/14 1:04 AM
User is offline

This one guy at my group therapy session managed to really get under my skin. I feel like he's condescending -he doesn't mean to be but he talks as though he's one step above and then I feel small. This got me very upset. Like who does he think he is???

It's hard for me to admit this but the truth is that this might be MY problem and not his. As long as he's not nasty it's a free country he can be as he chooses.

A part of me judges myself for feeling this way. Like why can't I be more mature and not care about these silly things.
Jealousy is an emotion like any other. I guess I'm not immune to it.

In addition, there is this woman in the group that I'm having a very hard time with. I used to be in touch with her (nothing inappropriate, I promise) and then stopped and now she ignores me and now I feel rejected, insignificant, and as though there's something wrong with me.

I was feeling a lot of toxic shame over all this. I'm writing about it here in order to get it out of my system.

I don't really know what to make of all this.
One thing is for sure. I'm going to continue trying to build myself up.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

1/16/14 1:18 AM
User is offline

You are very honest with yourself, Momo, and that itself is a huge accomplishment.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Cutiestarr
Senior Supporter

Posts: 222
Joined: Aug 2012

1/16/14 5:45 PM
User is offline

Oh...I actually thought of it like "it is THEM, not me".

I have a friend who's condescending. Simply put, she is a bit egocentric. It's her flaw, not mine, but still you're allowed to feel hurt.

Also this girl you speak of sounds a bit immature. I know people who "lost touch" with me (purposely or not) and when I see them I'm just casual and say hi. No hard feelings necessary.

 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



keep climbing
Senior Supporter

Posts: 704
Joined: Apr 2013

1/16/14 7:23 PM
User is offline

Momo, how are you doing today?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



MoMo
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1497
Joined: May 2009

1/16/14 7:52 PM
User is offline

Thanks for asking.
I was crazily overwhelmed last night. I had a full day packed with hard experiences. But I'm getting back to myself and trying to move forward.
This is life. When you put yourself out there you get bruised and sometimes knocked off your feet. No?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Lasthope
Senior Supporter

Posts: 514
Joined: Feb 2013

1/17/14 2:12 AM
User is offline

"You shoot me down but i get up.. " you are very strong and inspiring , which helps me keep going knowing people have similar struggles but dont giv up and keep getting up every time they get knocked down. This past monday i was knocked down after pushing myself up. It was very painful. I pushed myself to go out to a bris in the morning and be social and stuff which depression never wants you to do. So i went and it was ok until the middle of the seuda i got up to get more tuna and took my plate with me. I come back and a woman is sitting in my seat. At this point there were no other seats. Normally if i felt good i would have said im sorry but i was just sitting there but depression tapes my mouth shut and makes me either not say anything or say stupid things. So an aquaintance who was sitting there picked up her daughter and gave me her chair and then says i wouldve just told the lady your sitting in my seat. I felt like such an idiot i was like ya your right and then i said its fine im almost finished anyways so i wrapped up and bentched said mazel tov and left early. Sounds so stupid right? But i felt like i was literally punched in the face by god. I pushed myself so hard out he door and then he knocks me down to the floor. But i got back up by continuing on this fight this journey.
good luck with your support group issues. I would also feel annoyed. I get annoyed and jealous of people easily especially when im depressed and they try to make it as if they are better than others somehow...


Edited: 1/17/14 at 2:15 AM by Lasthope
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

1/17/14 10:07 AM
User is offline

Momo, you deserve a lot of credit, go easy on yourself.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



MoMo
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1497
Joined: May 2009

1/17/14 11:47 AM
User is offline

Last hope, I related to that. I have a hard time being assertive when I'm down. Also I can get hurt by a seemingly insignificat interaction.
I'm hoping that as I become more confident in general and less depressed that I'll have more 'shocks' to cushion small rejections and when things don't go right.

As far as my original post,
This guy who gets me nervous has admitted in the past that he has a tendency to be patronizing and portray himself as a step above everyone else. He's not a bad person he just has this character flaw that he actually wants to change.
At this point in my recovery I happened to still get very affected by other people so it bothers me. I think as long as I'm honest about what's going on and don't act hurtful to him I think it's ok that this is going on and I'm going to be open with him about how I feel when he's patronizing.

About this woman in the group, she actually contacted me last night to try to straighten things out.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



MoMo
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1497
Joined: May 2009

1/17/14 11:49 AM
User is offline

Wish, It's great to hear from you!
How are u you doing lately?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

1/17/14 12:31 PM
User is offline

I'm okay, thanks for asking. Mild winter blues. I'm kind of vegging after months of madness.

You're a real trouper, Momo! Don't give up.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



MoMo
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1497
Joined: May 2009

1/18/14 10:07 PM
User is offline

What kind of madness?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

1/19/14 9:51 AM
User is offline

Madness brought on by the combination of being in a hypomanic phase while needing to deal with my crazy family, financial pressures, social pressure due to some more changes I needed to make in my life, the stress of working through complicated emotions in therapy, graduating school and getting a job.

What's up with you?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



keep climbing
Senior Supporter

Posts: 704
Joined: Apr 2013

1/19/14 11:35 AM
User is offline

Wow! Wish, you have A LOT going on!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

1/19/14 11:40 AM
User is offline

Wow, that's a lot, wishtobehappy! Congratulations on the graduation and the job!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

1/19/14 7:42 PM
User is offline

Thanks guys!

The stress was very overwhelming and it didn't come without a price. I crashed for a while, physically and emotionally, and needed to spend the last couple of weeks recovering - so I can start working.

To be honest, even though it's been a really hard year and I felt like I was drowning more often than not, it was still easier than the horrible years of depression that preceded it - the kind of depression and despair that many of you are still dealing with. At least I didn't feel so stuck and hopeless and was making serious progress.

Stay strong everyone!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



channafofanna
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1352
Joined: Jul 2009

1/20/14 6:02 AM
User is offline View users profile

Wow! Congrats WishToBeHappy!!! So happy for you...
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Depression < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.