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TOPIC TITLE: School Quandry
Created On 3/13/14 7:28 PM
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mouse
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3/13/14 7:28 PM
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How do you know, and I mean really KNOW, when you should move on to another school??? What if the situation is so bad that it means either a compromised Jewish education or none at all??? I'm so stuck right now with this. Current school is not for my daughter. But, I don't want her going to public school or being taught by non-frum teachers Jewish subjects. (She's a savy kid and picked up after one day the Hebrew teacher wasn't frum. She respected it but also knew that it was clearly not what we endorse in values.) I'm not sure this other school will accept her, but if they do, I'm debating what to do. Perhaps I opened a can of worms, but it is open and now I need to know what to do. The current school she is in is making her physically ill from stress -- seriously physically ill -- not just tummy aches...major symptoms. Her doctor told me something has to give soon because she won't hold together much longer like this. I am so sad. I feel in a way like I lost control of a bad situation and now it's spinnning quicker than I can reel it back in. The only good thing is that she's open with me about her values and stuff we discuss openly halacha an hashkafa. She is a great kid. Just not meant for schooling. Meant for hugging an kissing and playing.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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3/13/14 7:58 PM
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(((Hugs))) Sounds like a very difficult situation. I'd say take her out. And give her lots of hugs and kisses.
 
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MoMo
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3/13/14 9:32 PM
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I don't know what the solution is. If I was you I would sit down with a very smart person with experience in these things who I look up to and discuss the whole thing.
 
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keep climbing
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3/14/14 5:24 AM
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We have a rule in our home-Breishis Bara-health is first.
Hatzlacha in this hard situation.
 
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toy123
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3/14/14 7:35 AM
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Munkster I don't know the reason why you want to switch your daughter schools but I'll give my two sense. If it's because of bullying from other students, teachers, or principal I would rather be in public school than go through that. I DID go through that and am damaged now because of it. I just have to commend you that you're actually doing something about it. Your daughter will greatly appreciate it, I promise. My mother never stood up for me or even thought about switching me schools when I was bullied. She's a good mother but still I'm suffering now....
Good Luck!!!! Let us know of your decision please?


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Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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mouse
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3/14/14 8:44 AM
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Thank you all so much for your input and not just judging me (since I seem to be doing a lot of that lately ) I still do not know what to do or who to go to for help untangling this mess. I just don't know what the solution is. I'll hopefully come up with a plan. We already decided if she goes to the new school, we will supplement her Jewish education with halacha and hashkafa we agree is important to learn. Even though right now they are in a less orthodox background than I really want, we seemed to have succeeded in passing to our children the "important stuff" in yiddishkeit. I guess we just have to hope for the best and continue.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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3/14/14 1:35 PM
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Munkster,

I commend you for being strong through all this.

In my eyes this is an extremely complicated situation not something I'd want to give an opinion about without hearing all the details.

What I do know for sure is that you are 100% correct that you can't keep your daughter in a situation where she's getting sick from school that's terrible.

The thing you're probably worried about is that if you want her to be a Torah true Jew and be a proud bas Yisroel who will pass your heritage down to her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren how will she do this without a proper Jewish education?

It's not a simple matter. I know some smart people who you can talk to about this and figure out the best solution. If you PM me I'll try to work something out.
I know some organizations that might also be able to help out.
 
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TBear
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3/17/14 2:25 PM
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Hi Munkster - wow - you are doing a great job advocating for what is best for your daughter - but figuring out what that is - with G-d's help is not so simple.

Part of what has kept me so busy and away from here - is something similar. My daughter was so stressed in the only frum school in the neighborhood - that I knew - and her counselors/ doctors knew - that she would be lost to yiddishkeit if I left her in..... So with much anxiety - and many different counselors, Rebbeim, teachers, etc.... we withdrew her completely - I will get her tutors as needed, she will home school for now and get a GED if need be. We tried to place her as a boarder - but that isn't something that would work out either economically or emotionally.

Contacts up at http://www.areivim.com/ helped me lots! I would highly recommend talking to them about your situation, they are very good at working with each individual.

Just my two cents worth - hope I was not offensive - will be davening for you

All The Best - (yes I am still lurking around from time to time)
 
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mouse
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3/17/14 4:45 PM
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Thanks tbear for telling me about areivim. I will look into it.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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3/20/14 6:33 AM
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So I told the principal of the current school that my daughterwill not be returning next yearr. He agreed it was a wise decision. When he asked what I plan to do with her, I told her about the other school that is hashkafically-challenged (my term ) He agreed that it's a good idea to try before home schooling. I feel a little better since I have someone who knows the ENTIRE situation and is orthodox backing me, but I'm still queasy about it. Dunno.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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3/24/14 1:55 PM
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MoMo...I have not forgotten you. Life is just crazy right now because of different issues.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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3/24/14 3:42 PM
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Munkster,

Don't worry I don't feel forgotten :-)
How are you?

I was doing well for a week but had a set back today..
 
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mouse
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3/24/14 9:08 PM
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I'm sorry you had a setbcack,, but if the rest of the week was good, then maybe a setback not as bad.

I'm doing ok. Parent teacher conferences are tomorrow, and I have to lay down the law with the teachers...I'm scared. My kiid is doing worse now than before. The whole class got in a fight centered aroudn my daughter and she doesn't know waht to do but doesn't want to go back to school. . Sometimes I wonder...


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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4/24/14 7:32 PM
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Back to schooling issues....turns out the school we were considering is closing its doors this year as a result of lack of funding from a specific funding source . I'm looking into homeschooling and seriously considering it. I'm just worried that it won't be to my daughter's benefit. I'm not a very structured sort unfortuantely. The principal of the current school said he will take her back but that it isn't the ideal situation for anyone. He's right. I'm considering giving homeschool a try and ask if we can return if we fail at it. We came up with a few names for tutors for specific subjects and places to get curriculum. I guess I'm scared of trying something new and so drastically different. Any thoughts?????


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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5/12/14 6:08 AM
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The only thoughts I have are "three cheers for Munkster!"
 
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