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TOPIC TITLE: Having a hard time
Created On 3/30/14 2:14 PM
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MoMo
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3/30/14 2:14 PM
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Lately I can't express myself. I can't recall the names of objects and places and people. It feels like I'm gong senile or losing my intelligence. I didn't used to stutter but now I do sometimes.

It's 2pm but I still didn't get out of bed.

I don't know what to do. I'm all alone and so sad. My stupid Psychiatrist went on vacation with no option of contacting him in case of emergency.

I have exams this week I want too study but have no energy.

Any advice feedback chizuk etc appreciated

 
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keep climbing
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3/30/14 5:03 PM
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That sounds soooo tough,Momo.
Do you think it is medicine related? How can your dr. leave without a way to reach him? Is there somebody filling in?
Remember, over here, we care!
 
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MoMo
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3/30/14 6:53 PM
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I do think its medicine related. there is no one filling in for the doctor.
Thanks so much for caring!!
I wish you were my real family.
 
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channafofanna
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3/31/14 6:01 AM
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Hey Momo! Im sorry your feeling like that!!! It sounds horrible!!!!
How long has it been like this? Whens ur pdoc coming back?
 
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MoMo
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3/31/14 10:38 AM
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Had a poor memory for many years I attributed it to the fact that I worry so much and feel down. But over the past 2 weeks it got noticeably worse.

I started tapering off the medication on my own. But it turns out the doctor comes back today so I I'm going to insist on talking him.

Channa how are you?
 
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HopefulMommy
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4/2/14 12:39 AM
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Were you able to speak to your doctor?

I also had memory issues from meds, but not as bad. Hope the decreased dosage helps. It's very frustrating.
 
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mouse
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4/2/14 4:46 AM
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Any improvements, MoMo???? I hope so.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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4/2/14 7:34 PM
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I lowered the dose on my own and stopped one of the medications on my own. I hate this doctor. I left him a voice mail and email over two days ago and he didn't respond. Whatever.

Should I get another doctor?

The memory problem got slightly better but it's scary how my head just doesn't work as it should. Nu I have to accept it.
I have a date tomorrow night I hope I don't screw it up. Wish me luck.
 
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mouse
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I wish you hatzlacha on the date and that it should work out to what is best for you. Truthfully, I don't think you could screw up a date. You're a great guy with lots of great things to say and know what is enjoyable.

As for the doctor, I'd talk with the doc on the off-chance he has an excuse. Right now I admit I'm hating him....but you never know. Talki with him, let him know what happened and what your concerns are. See if you like his answer and whether it sufficiently makes you better or happier or whatever. If he wasan't taking messages cuz his cat died, I'd dump him. If wasn't taking messages because of a family emergency, I'd think twice. If he says he won't make same boo boo in future, I'd hold him to it and remind him next vacation of his availablity. I hope that helps some . Glad you are starting to get back to old self.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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4/3/14 1:54 PM
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ok. thanks...
keep us posted, ok MoMo?
 
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Lasthope
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4/3/14 2:28 PM
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sorry haven't been on as much. THat sounds really tough with the memory loss and all. Did this start when you started lowering the dose? SOunds like you should find a different doctor in my opinion. hope you are feeling better...
 
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keep climbing
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4/8/14 5:14 AM
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Momo, how are you feeling? How did the date go?
 
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MoMo
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4/8/14 8:43 AM
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Thanks for asking.
I thought the date was good but she gave a no. I was upset for a day or two but she wasn't for me so I'm happy it's over sooner than later.

On another note, I'm lonely and want to socialize more any ideas?
 
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HopefulMommy
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4/8/14 12:16 PM
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That's disappointing. Oh well. Hope you meet your bashert soon. You sound like you're doing better though.
 
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mouse
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I'm sorry the date didn't work out. One way to socialize is to get into chesed projects in the community. People will see you and think of you as an option for shidduchim and you're doing a mitzvah, and you won't be lonely. What are your interests?????? If it's finance then maybe you can help do something financially for a chesed or other group. If you're into being with people in a big way maybe work with kids with special needs. If you're not into working with LOTS of people, maybe you can be a mentor for a kid. In my experiences gettng into the community and helping with different causes is not only rewarding but helpful. When I started working within the community, I met people who knew other people and connections were made. Ultimately, none of them led to a successful shidduch, but it gave me a good name in the community for getting stuff done.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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I am doing slightly better but it's hard to appreciate it since there is so much that still isn't going right.

My concentration isn't up to par. I have terribly low self esteem. I have almost no friends and I'm lonely very often...

The only difference lately is that I'm pushing myself to function better.

Munkster, I do volunteer to bring food to the hospital etc but it does not involve much interaction. I should probably do something that is more interactive but isn't too much.

In the past I tried mentoring a kid but anxiety and social fear got in the way and I had to cancel on the kid...
 
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mouse
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4/10/14 5:55 AM
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MoMo...only one thing to say...YOU"RE AMAZING!!!!!!! People with anxiety or depression have such a hard time doing the stuff you do. And you do it anyhow!!!!!!!! I REALLY admire that.

I'm having a rough time. The school we're considering for my daughter is closing. I found out in a not so good way and just cried most of yesterday since I don't any ducks to put in a row anymore!!! We're looking into homeschooling and another few schools. Public school isn't really an option unless we move. (Yeah, the situation is THAT bad.)


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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keep climbing
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4/10/14 7:08 AM
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Munkster, (((((HUGS)))) That is so tough about the school you wanted!!!
Hope you find an even better solution!

Momo, where are you going for Pesach? Maybe you can volunteer to help preparations over there?
 
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MoMo
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4/10/14 7:32 PM
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Munkster,
This sounds like a really tough situation especially in the pre-yom-tov season.

It looks like I'm going to end up at my parent's home for yom tov which I am totally not looking forward to its been a disaster every year since Ive been born but I have no where else to go.. I'm hoping I'll survive.

I met an old friend yesterday who is now successfully married and very happy in life. I am so happy for him but at the same time I am so sad that I am so stuck.
I'm going to try to forget about my situation and just do what I gotta do.

The Yom Tov season makes me so depressed does it make you guys also depressed?
 
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mouse
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Yom tov almost always makes me depressed...especially now my parents aren't alive. I see other ppl. going to their screwed up families and get jealous they have a family. I feel horrible MoMo that you have no where else. This year I really can't have guests, but next yr.,, if Moshiach hasn't come, I'll try to help you out if you want. I remember when I was single meeting someone who'd been married for a long time. I was so jealous of her since she was the same age as me. I then remembered the stuff she never had.....freedom of being single....getting to know who "I" am.....and peace and quiet (she had lots of screaming kids.) There is much more too, you just don't realize it. My hubby was single for 20 yrs and I reallly do believe he appreciates me so much more because he was single for so long. (For example, every morning no matter how messed up my hair is, he tells me how beautiful I am.) I must admit I was single for only about 8 yrs. and I also appreciate my husband more as a result, even though it wasn't as long. I know it feels like pergatory, but being single isn't as bad as you think...it's not good, but not end of world either. It hellps give time to get your head on straight about priorities in life. Being single doesn't mean you're a failure, it just means you haven't met "the one."


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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4/11/14 11:05 AM
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Just finished having a "Mommy Meltdown" on my kids. Left my son crying. I feel HORRIBLE . Does this happen to most of us this time of the yr. or am I just a wiitch????


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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4/11/14 11:42 AM
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Yes, happens to most of us . I don't know how many times I totally lost it because I told my kid not to touch something and next thing I know...
 
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mouse
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4/11/14 3:20 PM
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Thank you, HM...now I don't feel I'm as bad as a mom as I think I am.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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I'mTrying
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4/27/14 8:29 AM
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Momo and Munkster,
How are things going lately?
 
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MoMo
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4/27/14 3:42 PM
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Hey thanks so much for asking!!!
I'm hanging in there things could be better but also could be worse.

On Shabbos I stayed super engaged (I.e. went to Shul and even introduced myself to two people - which is very very hard for me! And I ate healthily and exercised etc) but maybe I exerted myself too much because after Shabbos I was up all night literally till 8:30 this morning online watching stuff and even viewed inappropriate stuff and I'm still in bed. I'm trying to be understanding of myself..

Do you think I should beat myself up for this or try to be tolerant?

Life's tough no?

How are stuff by you?
 
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MoMo
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4/27/14 5:17 PM
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I try so hard but I'm still so so far from where I need to be why?
Also, what do you guys think about that I end up watching inappropriate things. I hate myself for it but have such a hard time with this.
 
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Cutiestarr
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4/27/14 5:30 PM
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I eat treif food sometimes. Everyone has their thing.
 
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I'mTrying
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True. And i have more than one thing...
Momo, I vote for tolerance!
I don't think anything about you watching inappropriate stuff. It just means you're human and that makes your accomplishments even more special.
 
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MoMo
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Hey thanks!
 
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mouse
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I'm still here.....hope things are going more smoothly MoMo. I'm resigned to homeschooling next year and not really anticipating the loss of freedom and privacy. Also, I am really not in the mood for people on the outside to judge my intentions or behaviors. Feeling very closed in.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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Where is everyone?????
Having a rough day today. Very agitated abbout my printer and homeschooling. Feeling defeated before I even start. Trying to get through to a highschool to fnd out what they would want froma homeschooler to be accepted....called 6 times, emailed and still no response. I have a bad feeling they just don't want my daughter in two yrs . I hate when ppl judge and things are really different from what they seem. For example, I can't help but think that they don't want anything to do with me cuz my kid is either a reject or a problem or we don't want to spend money. It's so not true. My daughter was not kicked out of any schools. Furthermore, I'd spend all my money on educating her if I felt it would help - it just won't and doesn't help. Maybe I'm entirely wrong but it's been since 2 days after Pesach that I reached out to the school and still no response.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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Homeschooling is not easy I wish there's some way you could get more support. Maybe reach out to other Jewish parents in other cities that are homeschooling to discuss common experiences.

Can the principal of the old school help with curriculum?
Or is there some educational figure in the community that perhaps had been helpful in the past who you can talk to and
 
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MoMo
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5/4/14 6:04 PM
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Get some advice/support/direction...

I would hate to see you have to go through this all alone.
 
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Cutiestarr
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That's hard. My kids are young so I have no idea how this works but maybe an out of town high school would be more open minded?
 
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mouse
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So I got a bit of guts and called the school that I've been stalking since Pesach to get info. This time I requested to speak with someone else who could give me info. I was put through to someone who guided me and gave a clue at what they look at before accepting my child and acceptance rates. My husband and I are looking into another school sicne this one is iffy at best at accepting my daughter. There are these beastly looking tests she has to take too as part ofo the admissions process. I had difficulty answering them with my Judaic background (I went to Bais Yaakov and a pretty good seminary.) But it gives me ways to focus my attention that I didnt' have before. I'm incredibly worried about this test but nothing much can be done. The good news is I"m part of some homeschooling sites on the web and hopefully it will help with social time for my daughter and ideas where to get curriculum from. (Need a good writing program.)


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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I am contemplating a vacation from this site. Not getting much input either way. If I'm being jerky, I'd like to know.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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keep climbing
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Munkster, honestly, I am amazed that you can homeschool your daughter. I think it's a really selfless thing to do, and wish you luck with it.
What type of writing program do you need?
I teach writing.
 
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mouse
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I need a writing program that begins with the basic rules of capitalization and adds rules a fairly quick rate and isn't too young for my daughter, 11. I want it to cover how to write all sorts of writing. I think I may just make a program for my daughter instead. Nothing I found quite fits her needs.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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keep climbing
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We use Grammar & Usage for Better Writing, by Amsco. It's a very basic workbook.
 
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mouse
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Thanks KC...I'll look into it.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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5/12/14 6:15 AM
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Why are you "contemplating vacation"? I mean , your welcome too, no questions asked, but if its cuz you feel like youre not geting what you need from the forums, than im sorry its like that for you...
Any way we could help?
 
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mouse
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Not getting input and other stuff weighing on my mind right now. Not sure if the forum is best for me.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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Ok, if you think its better not to be on the forum then we can respect that. But everyone will FOR SURE miss you and still care and want to help in any way we could.
Im sorry you feel you arent getting what you need from the forums though, i really wish you could..
 
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