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TOPIC TITLE: *triggering and very graphic* I've had it/want to hurt myself...
Created On 4/3/14 3:11 PM
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toy123
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Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

4/3/14 3:11 PM
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I've totally had it. There have been threads here going around about wanting not to be frum. I'm amazed star you even have the guts to start such a thread. I do so many things wrong halachically and by now I don't even care. Star you're so strong even asking and starting such a thread. Now back to me, I'm in soooooo much emotional pain I wanna just overdose not to die but to stop the pain or at least cut so I feel physical pain and feel the sense of blood going down my arm. That's comforting to me. (I'm diabetic and every time I gotta prick myself It's so relieving the pain when it is painful. Sometimes I just wish to take the needle and scratch myself up. I don't want to worry anyone but yes my ideations are increasing. In my mind I think a lot about hurting myself so my pain goes bye bye. I don't think I'd go through on them but they're there and that's all I need on top of my pain... anyone have good advice for me that I don't hurt myself and don't tell me use skills cuz I'm doing that 48/8. I'm trying skills and I DON'T want to cut or overdose. I DON'T want to be in the hospital even though there is some sense of safety there. I'm sad that I came to such a stage. I want my urges to go away.... I know people will think I'm just looking for attention but I'm NOT. I'M IN PAIN!!!!! Can't anyone believe me and see that?????


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Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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Lasthope
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Posts: 514
Joined: Feb 2013

4/3/14 3:32 PM
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i believe you. Im so sorry you're in so much pain.
 
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getMeOutOfHere
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4/3/14 8:04 PM
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I believe you. Sorry I don't know how to help, but keep doing your best to take care of yourself.
 
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channafofanna
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Posts: 1351
Joined: Jul 2009

4/6/14 10:17 AM
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Hey Toy, Im really sorry youre feeling so bad!! It looks like things are REALLY hard for you right now!!!
I dont know what to say to help you, but I will tell you that I REALLY REALLY want things to be easier for you and I can tell you from current experience that Hurting yourself will only help for a teensy drop and it becomes an adiction do bad that you cant think about anything else!! And when you finnaly cut, you can never cut deep enough but you need to more and more you just dont get the releif that you crave. Im telling you this so you should understand how bad it gets. I started scratching myself with a safety pin and now im sticking it in 3/4 inch deep and guess what? ITS NOT STOPPING THE PAIN!!! so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! IM BEGGING YOU!!! DONT GET STARTED DONW THAT PATH!!!! PLEASE TOY!!!!
 
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HopefulMommy
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Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

4/8/14 12:00 AM
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I believe you, and I feel for you. I wish I could help, or take your pain away. (((Hugs)))
 
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channafofanna
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4/17/14 10:22 AM
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Hey. hows it going?
 
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abetterworld101
Junior Supporter

Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2014

11/11/14 9:13 AM
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When someone is in pain, they will do anything to relieve a little bit of the pain. However, I've learned the hard way that self-harm doesn't take away any pain; it only causes more trouble. Use a rubber band or ice in the mean time as a supplement and please see a professional asap.
 
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