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TOPIC TITLE: Thousand and One Reasons
Created On 12/9/05 2:25 PM
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channan
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12/9/05 2:25 PM
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Yesterday I was fired from my job, probably justifiably (I wasn't doing anything wrong) but I just didn't click with my boss. This is my second job in 6 months. My previous one, I quit. My father has given up on me. My mother hasn't given up, although I wish she would. At this point I just want to give up. I don't know if I can physically kill myself but I am at the point where I am willing to live homeless, disconnected from everyone I have ever disappointed. It's just easier that way.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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12/10/05 8:10 PM
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Channan,
Welcome to the board. Suicide is NOT the answer. It takes many people a long time to find out what they are suited for. Do you like the field you are in generally? What is your understanding of the problem. Could you give us a little history and context?
A Lynn
 
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channan
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12/10/05 11:01 PM
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Well, I was in sales. I am not very good at it. I am tired of dealing with people. I'd rather just think for a living and get paid for it. Before I fell into this state of depression, I was supposed to be a rabbi. I was a religious person, I have a degree in Jewish studies but it frankly hasn't gotten me anywhere because I chose not to do the rabbincal track. I know the problems I am facing right now, but at this point, I don't think it matters. Every chance I am given, I unconciously blow. I am at the point of saying screw it all.
 
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NeedSupport
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12/11/05 6:06 AM
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Channan, I don't know if my suggestions are any good.
But maybe you should try to find the kind of job you like and know you will be good at.. we all are good at SOME thing.. try to find s/thing that clicks with you and then look for a job in that area..
Some suggestions..
Babysitting
Special Ed.
Baking or cooking for others.
Taking care of an older woman..

Maybe tell us a little about what kind of things you like to do..
 
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channan
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12/11/05 3:58 PM
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I don't really have a whole lot of "skills". It's become quite futile talking about what I am good at. I do know what I am not good at. I do know what I don't want to do. Dealing with people is one of those at the professional level. I have tried sales (because I am generally an outgoing personality) but didn't do well at it. I have lost my desire to help people so at this point...I just want a dead end job where I can disappear and I can pay rent and have insurance. I am having trouble finding one of those though.

 
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NeedSupport
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12/11/05 8:39 PM
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Channan, I see we have alot in common.. I too cannont work on any job that requires dealing with others.. I would never work in a grocery store bec. It would be hard for me to say no to s/thing, I can't be strict.. I would never be a teacher bec. I'm too shy to stand in front of a classroom, even if it's nursery.. I'm always sure that e/one is always only busy looking at how fat and ugly I look.. and therefore I hold myself back from doing alot of things and I suffer for it.. I'm very self consious and afraid to voice my opinion..

I can be outgoing too but I'm pretty shy, once I open up to s/one.. I'm open all the way.

How about working from home... do you like to work with computers? maybe you can type for s/one or do graphics.. that doesn't require too much dealing with others.. and it's fun.. (at least I think it's fun).

I hope I'm not making you feel worse...
but feel free to ignore my suggestions.

 
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channan
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12/11/05 9:09 PM
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I can work with people just not in a fashion that is related to a customer service. I do not like the pressure of living up the goals set by someone else. Also, I'd rather not be forced to compete with others. I am not very competitive when I am being forced to do so. The thing is, I like to work but I have to do something different everyday. I do not deal well with routine.
 
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channan
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12/13/05 1:42 PM
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I look at people who have a purpose in their life and I wonder how they wake up and go through everyday with such relative ease. Theoretically my life should be ease. I come from a good family, relative wealth, successful parents, the works, but at the same time I don't have the same intelligence that they do. I can't really figure out what to do at this point now. I look at job sites daily with no clue what to look for. So as a result, I try to find a reason to live....still looking.
 
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pebbles
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12/13/05 7:32 PM
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you know going through hardships is definately troubling but you think you are the only one that wakes up everyday with a troubled life. yet those who you think have everything easy dont necessarily have the great life they just choose to hide it from the rest of the world. i am an example of that. to everyone i have the perfect easy life but i have so much going on inside of me emotionally sometimes. the one thing i must tell you is that you cannot give up on yourself b/c it wont help you or those who love you. you have to look at yourself and find the good that you can offer to others b/c knowing that i can make others happy helps me feel worthy and it just gets me through everyday and I know that so many people around me care for me and it's not worth giving up anything for the love and support that i get each day. if it is too hard to help youself then you might want to talk to someone and i personally think that it doesnt have to be a specialist but even just a friend you can open up to and deal with you issues. please dont worry about your smarts and competitiveness b/c at the end of the day your life is the most important and not that. i hope you feel better!
 
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channan
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12/13/05 7:57 PM
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In all honesty, I appreciate your thoughts, but making people happy and dealing with people doesn't pay the bills and doesn't pay for the disgustingly high rates that I have to pay for medication. At this rate, I don't see any point. Some people were built to make it in this world and others were not. I have no practical skills and probably at a state where I am too old acquire any.

 
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