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TOPIC TITLE: Not sure I want to keep going
Created On 6/10/14 8:24 PM
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mouse
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6/10/14 8:24 PM
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I am thinking about things and starting with a new therapist is so difficult. I'm not convinced it is within my best interests and I'm so tired. I don't want to live anymore regardleesss. I feel like I'm plunging into a deep depression withou any support system. Not feeling to good now.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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TBear
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6/10/14 10:02 PM
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Munkster.... Very little to say...just know you are heard, so hard to keep trying. Wish I could be more helpful....
 
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MoMo
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6/10/14 11:52 PM
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Oy munkster!! I feel for you!!!
You just lost one of your main pillars of supports that must be sooooo hard!!!
 
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mouse
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6/11/14 8:14 AM
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Things are so dark right now to me. I can't even figure out if anything I'm doing is wise .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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6/11/14 2:21 PM
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Oy Munkster! Im sorry youre feeling so bad!!
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
We can try to give you support here but is there somewhere in the 'real world' where you can reach out too?


Edited: 6/11/14 at 2:23 PM by channafofanna
 
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mouse
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6/11/14 9:27 PM
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I'd love to say my hubby could suppor me on this one, but he doesn't get it. He tries but doesn't get it. so no one in the "real world" right now.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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getMeOutOfHere
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6/12/14 4:29 PM
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I can understand how you feel. What are the things that make you hold on and not give up?
 
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mouse
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6/12/14 5:43 PM
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My kids...not much I guess...which is why I'm teetering on the edge.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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TBear
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6/12/14 8:38 PM
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Munkster.... so sorry you are in this place....I am having a hard time with these feelings right now myself - and the answer - my kids keep me hanging on - same answer I gave my therapist.....

Bottom line is this happens to me when the overwhelming nature of pain and shame I am experiencing from different dissociated parts overwhelms... first the pain - the trigger that I cannot handle, then the inner shut down from some parts - and the cruel shaming of those pieces within.... sending me into further overwhelm and isolation.... there are few ways to pull out for me.....

Realizing that the children of people who give up, fight doing the same thing themselves at a later time..... not saying this to shame - but to help you realize - your presence is needed if for no other reason than to show them that pain, emotion, extreme situations and feelings will pass and you can beat this - and so can they when life deals them a rough time....

My Rabbi told me it is a test - or series of tests - that are here to pass - a tikkun for our neshama that we may not ever understand in this lifetime....

Book I was given to read today suggests to find a distraction that you can engage all of you in - a funny movie that will help you to laugh or maybe music to sing to, or maybe a physical activity that requires concentration and change (nothing that has you focusing at the same thing so that you stare off and dissociate) or coloring in a coloring book - painting or maybe making something out of clay. The key I was told is to accomplish doing something distracting that engages your body and mind together. Then to reflect on what is causing the difficulty - don't look at the whole history of the situation - but only this moment - and this moment is better feeling - your physiology is changed from the distraction you chose to do and it begins helping you pull out of the situation. Eventually my goal is to find the reasons for the pervasive shame that makes me want to escape so badly.... but first I have to pull out in order to be able to reflect and possibly find the trigger and even think out a better response to it.....

Anyway - not trying to "preach" or fix you - sometimes part of the healing is to have to sit with the pain, and realize it will get better - just sending you the care I got today, from trusted peoples ,responses when I expressed similar feelings. It has helped me - so I hope it helps you... Sitting with you and hoping things feel better soon - I know it doesn't feel too good right now, hang in there it will get better and you will be glad that you stuck it out.


Edited: 6/12/14 at 9:08 PM by TBear
 
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mouse
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6/13/14 4:42 AM
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Wow, thank you so much TBear. I'll have to read and reread this over and over. Maybe it will get me through. It was VERY helpful. Passing on the info was a wonderful "gift." (BTW, you are a good writer...put it so well.)


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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