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TOPIC TITLE: Saying sorry too much
Created On 6/23/14 10:31 PM
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Cutiestarr
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Posts: 222
Joined: Aug 2012

6/23/14 10:31 PM
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I have a bad habit of apologizing for things that aren't my fault. Today I told my landlord I'm moving out at the end of the month (a week before July), and apologized extensively. My reasons are very valid - I had huge medical bills to pay for my son's accident last week and need to move in with my in-laws. I feel like I overdid it with the apologies - I'll try to find them someone else to rent the apartment, etc. etc. when I have no obligation to rent it or to apologize. If I had just said "I need to move out of the apartment due to an emergency," and kept things simple, it probably would have gone over a lot better.

I think this is a pattern of apologizing for things that need no apologies. Any suggestions?
 
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mouse
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1931
Joined: Oct 2007

6/24/14 9:43 AM
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I know someone who apologizes too much and it drives me INSANE. For the record, if you just said you're sorry once, that's ok I think. In such a situation you may be sorry. Just repetitive apologizing is problematic in my opinion. One thing you can do is stop yourself when you see an apology coming up. Another is if it slipped, you can always say something like, "actually I'm not sorry. I'm just upset things came to this point." That way you're not apologizing, you're using the emotion that came up. I'm not sure if that is helpful but that's what I do. People don't get offended when I "take back" my apology. They understand because they understand the driving emotion. If you know you're going into a situation that you're going to give an insincere apology, try to practice how to not apologize but relay the message at the same time. After a while, you'll get the hang of it. For the moment, even recognizing you're doing it is a positive step -- sadly many do not realize they over-apologize.

Last thing is, (at the risk of sounding apologetic) I'm sorry you're in such a dire situation that you need to move back in with the in-laws . I'm glad you have them as a support though when the rough gets going.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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