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TOPIC TITLE: Made a BIG mistake
Created On 6/24/14 1:11 PM
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mouse
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6/24/14 1:11 PM
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I underestimated my daughter's ability to cyber snoop. She knows I come here for support but has not yet entered the site to see what I write. I need this place as an outlet, but it is really not wise she reads my 'real' thoughts. I'm going to mention this to her therapist to try to dissuade her from ever looking, but I don't know what will be. Meanwhile I'm conflicted on whether I should continue posting. I know it's my fault since I never covered my tracks, but I am not able to easily. I'm so mad at myself since now I have a lot to disclose to her therapist and I just don't know how to proceed to keep my daughter out. I'm thinking of using parental settings to keep her out temporarily....but wow I opened a can of worms! Please don't tell me I'm stupid. I don't need to hear that .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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6/25/14 11:36 AM
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No one's perfect we all make mistakes. It's OK to make mistakes try not to let it get you down.
 
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TBear
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6/25/14 3:26 PM
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Oy Mouse

That was an oversight - not a really such a great mistake....

My kids can out think me and out "cyber" me any day - so they just have to not snoop! I have taken all internet away for 6 months for crossing any of the lines I set down - now they do not snoop.

Not sure how old your daughter is - but as mine get older - they figure out more about why I am the way I am. Actually the more they know from me rather than letting it go to their imagination - the better. You see - one of my children as he got older began to think he picked up on my switching and forgetfulness and thought I had schizophrenia (I don't) so telling him the truth of my DID was better - without any details.... it has to be age appropriate what you say, but the truth being out in the open kept them from imagining and trying to snoop to find out more than they should. You have nothing to be ashamed about.

It has been hard for me to be more honest and open - but it has helped us all to face the challenges we have - maybe a family session could help? But I know you are having trouble with the therapy monetary nightmares.....

It is hard and scary to think your daughter might be snooping - but don't add to that difficulty by "beating yourself up emotionally". From what I have heard from your posts - you are a great Mom!


Edited: 6/29/14 at 7:08 AM by TBear
 
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Mouse1
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6/25/14 5:05 PM
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Tbear, I'm having a session with my daughter and me and her therapist. I'm just nervous about telling my daughter's therapist much. I trust her but I don't want her to know so much about me. (Also, I did a name change so I'm not as easy to spot on here.) Thank you for your advice as we have same diagnoses I can relate to what you say more sometimes. I just don't want my daughter knowing HOW such problems can arrise .
 
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MoMo
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6/26/14 2:56 AM
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T bear, you couldn't have said it better!
 
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TBear
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6/26/14 3:23 PM
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Mouse,

I found that telling my kid's therapists my diagnosis and the stress in my life presently, was enough - they did not need to know more and they didn't ask. But you do have to be careful because there is much misinformation out there even within the therapeutic circles.....

My children (not the youngest) only had to know that my childhood was not pleasant but that I still showed respect to their grandparents up until their deaths.... Also I could allow them their pleasant memories by saying that no matter what happened to me - someone who made mistakes as a parent can be a wonderful Grandparent. I never went into the horror of my childhood - and I don't need to - I do need to tell them why I married an abuser and why I stayed with him so long.... also to explain the switching that has occurred in the past (thank G-d it is better!)

We had a family session that was primarily for the kids to voice their worries and ask any question they might have - all with my therapist so that I stayed on safe ground. I have had sessions with my child and her therapist before but that was usually child specific and how I could help that particular child.

Sorry you are on such shaky ground for now - at the end of the day though - it is Hashem who will help and has designed us to cope... Please G-d things will get better for you!



Edited: 6/29/14 at 7:07 AM by TBear
 
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wishtobehappy
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6/27/14 7:41 PM
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Tbear and mouse, I am beginning to have similar issues with my kids. I guess I hadn't realize they were growing up right before my eyes. I often see the wheels of their brains turning when they try to piece the puzzle that is me together. My son in particular is always trying to figure out what it is about me that is different from other people, and I know it confuses him. I also have a really hard time dealing with my family (mainly my mom) and as much as I try to keep my kids out of it, I'm sometimes guilty of venting when they're within earshot.

Tbear, I like the way you dealt with it all. Reading your posts, I often feel you're superhuman.


Edited: 6/29/14 at 8:26 AM by wishtobehappy
 
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mouse
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6/28/14 10:40 PM
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Sorry, wish, I'd prefer to be called mouse for a reason. My kids will know who I am if I use munkster (hopefully they won't get to this post.)


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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TBear
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6/29/14 7:14 AM
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Hope all is well Mouse. I have edited your name to reflect your preference.....in the above post it is possible to go back further with editing if necessary, to keep everyone safe. If you think it is warranted.

Be well,
Tbear
 
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wishtobehappy
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6/29/14 8:25 AM
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sure mouse. I edited my post too.
 
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MoMo
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6/29/14 12:48 PM
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"Tbear, I like the way you dealt with it all. Reading your posts, I often feel you're superhuman."

I second that!
 
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mouse
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6/29/14 8:23 PM
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Thanks folks for supporting the name change. To edit your post was really special to me. Thank you. Wish me luck tomorrow. I'm speaking with my daughter's therapist regarding diagnosis and this site. .....I'm nervous.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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6/29/14 8:56 PM
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Good luck. We're with you!
 
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MoMo
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6/29/14 10:48 PM
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We are all behind you!!
Keep us posted..
 
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TBear
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6/29/14 11:59 PM
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Davening for you and your daughter....
 
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gad
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6/30/14 3:11 AM
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Besurois toivois
 
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mouse
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6/30/14 6:33 PM
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So I spoke to my daughter's therapist today in very broad terms. She agreed my daughter should be prohibited from snoooping and gave me some ideas of how to help prevent it. Furthermore, she drove home the antisnooping message to my daughter. Hopefully that does the job. I was hoping I'd feel relief though, and I don't. I am just a bundle of nerves.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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TBear
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6/30/14 10:44 PM
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Wow you did it though. I know when I reveal anything about me even in broad terms,it always leaves me shaking.... So glad you were able to communicate with the therapist and she was able to help.

Take care Mouse
 
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channafofanna
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7/6/14 3:43 PM
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You did great Mouse!!!
 
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