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TOPIC TITLE: Here's What's Happening
Created On 8/19/14 9:24 PM
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MoMo
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8/19/14 9:24 PM
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I recently moved in with another apartment-mate but Im having a terribly hard time. Im afraid of being seen for who I am. Im afraid of him knowing that I struggle with depression. Im afraid of what he thinks of me.

Also I got a great internship opportunity but I don't feel like I can really succeed. So Im down and depressed.
Now Im afraid of where this will all end.
 
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gad
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8/19/14 10:55 PM
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some of the greatest people in the world struggled with depression, and they accomplished great things.
(sometimes the depression was what motivated them, because in the effort to overcome it, it inspired them to reach beyond the usual limits and to do great things.)

they were admired for the good things that they did. the depression was generally either hardly focussed on, or when it was focussed on, it was generally understood and not looked down on.

re the internship, i wish you much hatzlocho with it.

hope to hear good news
 
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mouse
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8/20/14 1:43 AM
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Can you remember that a lot of these thoughts are depression thoughts??? You need to try in order to fail or succeed. Go for the internship. Maybe you'll be the rock star at it . As for the roommate, there are worse things than a depressed roommate you know. You're quiet and sensitive to others feelings. I bet those qualities make for a good roommate situation. (I sure hope though he isn't he life of the party or you're in for a hard time ) I know when I had roommates I was scared of what they'd think of me. I thought they'd think I'm nuts or whatever (and some did.) But in the end, having a roommate is likely a passing thing. You or he may move out (hopefully to marry) and never see each other again. Or maybe you'll become best buddies and keep in touch even when you have your own kids. Either way consider it a growing opportunity. That which doesn't kill you.......


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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8/20/14 2:30 AM
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But Im terrified of being seen for the person I sometimes am: Not confident, Depressed, Low self esteem, and just shamefully stupid.
Im afraid of him realizing it. When I lived alone at least at home no one thought Im crazy because it was only me now even being home isn't safe anymore.

It's very hard not to have a safe home base to hide in. I thought I could face the world and let myself be seen and for a while it was working but now it all collapsed. Im terrified. I don't feel safe.

I know I need heavy duty therapy for this.
Im not in a stage where I can yet hear another perspective. Im just terrified.

Im thinking of moving back my parent's home for a few days just to feel safe and less exposed.
 
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keep climbing
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8/21/14 6:43 PM
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Feeling any better today, Momo?
 
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I'mTrying
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8/21/14 8:18 PM
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Hope you're doing a little better today.
 
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MoMo
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8/21/14 10:57 PM
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Yes b"h.
Thanks for checking up on me!
 
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MoMo
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8/21/14 11:00 PM
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How are you guys?
 
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mouse
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8/24/14 9:10 AM
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I'm slowly making my way through life. Hope all is well with you soon. I am coming to a conclusion that I really am part of a greater thing....a group...that MAYBE, just maybe, I belong. Maybe not in the middle, but good enough. This thought though I admit is on very shaky ground. It's just coming up as a thought now. Weird huh?

The day hospital I am in wants me to have a family session with my husband. I"m not too keen on it. I don't want him finding out much. I like him in the dark in some ways. But at the same time he should be told it's not really about him, it's a problem of mine, not his. Maybe he's feel better about it. Or maybe he doesn't care much either way....who knows????? We are tapering down one of my meds and I'm nervous of the reaction I'll have. I really don't want to get extremely suicidal again. Whatever, I'll have to survive.

Hoping you're ok MoMo...and everyone else.



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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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8/24/14 9:41 AM
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Quote

Originally posted by: mouse
I am coming to a conclusion that I really am part of a greater thing....a group...that MAYBE, just maybe, I belong. Maybe not in the middle, but good enough.


Which group?
 
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mouse
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8/24/14 12:26 PM
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gad -- family and in a broader sense the human race


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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8/24/14 12:37 PM
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Sounds good
 
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I'mTrying
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8/24/14 7:06 PM
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That's a real revelation, Mouse. I have yet to reach that conclusion
 
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