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TOPIC TITLE: Back to how things were
Created On 5/8/15 4:40 PM
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channafofanna
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5/8/15 4:40 PM
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Hey guys!
I was thinking about how nice it used to be to be when this was a bustling forum with people posting al the time and getting lots of suport. Why cant it be like that again? Im proposing that we liven this place up again , back to how things used to be so that people can get suported here again!
Whose with me?
Any ideas of a conversation we can have? Rants anyone?


Edited: 5/8/15 at 4:42 PM by channafofanna
 
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Who am I
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5/10/15 3:01 PM
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I can't agree more. There must be someway to advertise in a private way and get more people to join


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smile and the world smiles with you
 
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mouse
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5/11/15 4:36 AM
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Dunno if we can get things back to the way they were. There were more people. More thoughts. More support. Sometimes you look back to the way things were and you appreicate those times and people that made it special. I'm willing to put in the effort though.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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keep climbing
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5/11/15 5:14 AM
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I still check the site every day, but don't feel like sharing if there's no one around. We have to commit, lets say, to post twice a week so people will feel there's someone at the other end.
 
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Who am I
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I don't understand you guys. What does it mean that there were more people back then...In fact there should be more people on this site now. Today more than ever there are becoming more and more people with depression. The difference is that today people are not as ashamed of their illness as people in the past. 30 years ago if someone was on medication for a mental illness they were considered crazy. People didn't get it! they wouldn't associate themselves with someone on meds for depression or any other mental illness.

Mental illness is no different than physical illness. Are we really that different when we're depressed and I'm not talking about feelings, I'm talking about who you are as a person. Yes we don't smile as much and we're not always in the mood to do different stuff, but depression can't change your personality, character, talents and traits. It may alter it, but You'll always remain the same person with or without meds.

As I'm sure you all know, there are many famous people who have depression. Unfortunately, they're too proud to do something about it. People are afraid to get help. They feel like if they see a therapist or they have to be on meds there's something wrong with them. But as I wrote earlier: the stigma towards people with depression is ever so slowly going away. Yes, it may take another 30 years, till we're treated like everyone else, but all of us today know we are no different than a person with a pulled hamstring, a knee injury or any other type of physical illness.

I remember when this site started more than a decade ago. I was under a different name then, but I was more depressed than ever back then. But every day, I would look forward to coming on this site and sharing my pain with others who knew what I was feeling. They didn't just sympathize with me like everyone else, they emphasized with me. In the beginning this site took off and people would go on every day.

I implore all of you, whether you visit twice a week, once a month or just when you feel like it, to take advantage of a site that was made for us and all others that are struggling physically or mentally. Frum Support was made for people like you and me. How long does it take to open your computer and get on this site and contribute some (positive) thoughts.

So to some up: Anyone out there that's depressed, don't feel ashamed, don't feel different. Try to drop by this site once a day, even for 5 minutes.



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smile and the world smiles with you
 
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mouse
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5/11/15 6:25 PM
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Who Am I -- deeply touched by the truths you mentioned. I think I can commit to checking the site 4-5 times a week and trying to share situations and support within the group. I'm hoping can do similar (even if it isn't as often as 4-5 times a wk.) What I like most is the anonymity of it. What i miss most is the others' feedback


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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5/12/15 7:01 PM
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So, here are my thoughts ( Im out of practice so excuse the rambling /outline form)
There are ways to advertise ex newspapers and stuff but that would require money, wich I would assume the site dosent have. There is also word of mouth and such, but I was thinking more participation of those of us who already are memebers who dont post for a variety of reasons. Remeber ,we dont want it to be too busy of a site (or at least I dont, selfishly so, I guess) but just more busy. But since " buisness creates buisness" every post brings us closer to a more lively forum ( or as lively as a bunch of depressed people can be =) lol)
I will definatley try to check FS maybe at least once a week so that I contriubte to making it feel like there are people listening so there is a reason to log on.
I just want to point out that we are all vulnerable so there is nothing to be ashamed of if you dont feel like logging on. You have no obligations other than the obligations to yourself and whats best for you, and lets face it, even turning on a laptop feels like to much at times. And this can be triggering and anxiety inducing etc. so remember - you come first!
Regarding the fact that there "should be" more people on the site now, maybe soon there will be, but its important not to dwell on the "shoulds". Yes, logically, there is more mental illness today and a lot of people who need suport and more people who have internet acsess etc and youre right, mental illness is more accepted today that it was 30 years ago ( not that I was even alive back then, but so Ive heard) but there is still a ways to go. What I meant when I wrote " how things used to be " was back to a few years ago when this place was busy, and I think instead of focusing on shoulds we should focus on coulds. Like what we could do. Like trying to post and log on.
anyway thats my thoughts. Not sure they make sense but I posted, so thats what counts, right? =)

 
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MoMo
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5/13/15 10:13 AM
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Hello everyone!!
 
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mouse
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5/13/15 4:18 PM
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HI MOMO ....So glad to see you didn't ditch us permanently .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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5/13/15 4:19 PM
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AND...YAY channa...you still here with us ....So good to see you guys .....and welcome the new .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/13/15 6:25 PM
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Hi everyone!

I also check the site periodically, but haven't been posting for a number of reasons. I can definitely try to check and post more often.

Hi Channa and Momo. Glad to see you back.
 
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MoMo
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5/13/15 7:26 PM
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Hey nice to see you too!!!
How's life these days?
What are you up tu lately?
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/13/15 8:50 PM
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Life's full of ups and downs. It's been pretty chaotic recently. Sibling drama, husband being overseas for close to two weeks, then coming home in time to start a new, and more demanding job etc. I feel like cracking up right now, but am getting better and better at riding the waves.

How's it going on your end? Are you in school or working these days?
 
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MoMo
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5/13/15 9:37 PM
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Two weeks is a long time!
That's great that your riding the waves better I think that's what healing is all about... there'll always be ups and downs it's all about surfing through them better...

I'm looking for a Job keeping busy in the meantime. I have some leads that I'm following...

A few months ago I joined a daily outpatient group program it was a terrible experience for me. My coordinator was inexperienced and things between me and him didn't go well and it ended bad...

Since then I regressed a bit but I'm trying to pick up the pieces and move forward. I'm trying to take onc step at a time that's all anyone can do no?
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/13/15 10:12 PM
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Yeah, I guess healing is all about learning to weather the storm instead of drowning.

Sorry about the outpatient program fiasco. You sound like you're doing a mighty good job at pulling yourself together, despite the many setbacks you've encountered in the past. That's amazing. Not many people are capable of that.

Good luck with the job hunt!
 
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MoMo
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5/13/15 10:45 PM
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Thank you!!
 
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mouse
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5/14/15 4:51 PM
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MoMo....stinks about the outpatient program. It works well for some and others not so much. Often it depends on the coordinator you are assigned. It i often hit or miss in my experience. Sounds like you are slowly bouncing back though. A slow bounce back can be better than a quick. It is often more lasting. I hope so at least.

Wish...good to see you again . I don't know how you can be without hubby for 2 wks. I'd go nuts!!! So important to have someone there to pick up the slack occasionally...or all the time. You need some time to yourself. It is hard when hubby not around in my experience. Hoping things get easier for you too .

Good to see people coming back .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/14/15 9:30 PM
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Thanks mouse

I did actually go nuts. Literally. (binged on nuts ). Seriously, it triggered mania. I had my single sister come stay with me, but it only made matters worse. I'd also been dealing with obnoxious schools, trying to get my daughter accepted, and having no sounding board was hard. Sure glad he's home, but he hasn't been around much due to working two jobs. Can't wait for things to settle down.
 
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channafofanna
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5/17/15 12:19 PM
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Yep. Still here =) A now not so silent presence =)
 
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TBear
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5/17/15 7:16 PM
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Hi guys.... I peek in from time to time. miss participating like I did before my house burned.... Will try to come more often -
Doctor has put me on some meds - said i've had too much stress for far too long and need to "re-boot' the chemicals in my brain - funny, huh? Probably had something to do with the heart arrhythmia and panic attack in his office when I was triggered.... don't really remember what exactly happened, only that I "woke up" with him yelling at me to breathe.....

 
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wishtobehappy
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5/17/15 10:01 PM
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Hey Tbear, nice to hear from you again!

Sorry about all the craziness you've been going through. Smart doctor. Have the meds been helping you deal with it all? How's your daughter doing?
 
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MoMo
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5/17/15 11:56 PM
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Yeah Tbear you've really been through the ringer!

Don't feel pressure to post here you have enough pressure
 
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toy123
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5/18/15 2:57 PM
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I too come on here frequently and read. I haven't been posting because things have been pretty hectic for me these days... Sorry.... I'll try to post more and be more involved...


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Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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mouse
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5/21/15 4:29 AM
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Tbear you have been thru a lot of stress. And I mean A LOT!!! The good news is if you get thru what you're getting thru now, you'll be the strongest person to live ......I shouldn't say if.....it's when. You're really good at fighting the odds.

Toy...so glad gto see you again. So glad the old "gang" is showing up .

Who'd think one person could change an entire dynamic.....Thanks .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/21/15 9:55 AM
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Hi toy. Are things hectic in a good way?

mouse, 5 smiley faces in one post counts for something. Someone woke up in a happy mood
 
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toy123
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5/21/15 3:56 PM
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Wish unfortunately not but things are starting to look up. The residence manager where I live left and I was extremely close to her so I am taking it extremely hard. I was in total crisis mode the whole last week but since Sunday things are beginning to turn around BH.

I am and am not looking forward to yom tov. Things at home between me and my parents aren't the greatest but my brother flew in with his oldest son so having him around will hopefully help. He is really supportive of me and accept me for who I am which is really important to me...


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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mouse
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5/21/15 6:51 PM
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Wish....funny thing is almost everything for me is cheery until about 7 am.......that's when things go downhill....wondering if it is why I always wake up so early......I'd be surprised if it wasn't. It isn't meds either. It's just what I'm like early in the day . Weird huh????


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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Toy, that must be really painful. Will you be able to keep in touch with her? Glad this week is better. Stay strong.

Sounds like you've got a great brother. Nothing like a supportive sibling to help you get through family friction.

mouse, that is indeed interesting... who knows, maybe working the graveyard shift will heal you
 
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MoMo
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5/21/15 10:58 PM
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Mouse it's starting to hit me that perhaps the pre-7am hours are the happiest of the day so maybe I'm depressed cause I always sleep through those hours.

You might've found the cure to depression: everyone should stay up till 7am and go to sleep then...
 
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MoMo
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Toy, I'm glad there's at least some positive!
I hope you have a really good Yom Tov!

Wish, hope Yom Tov goes well for you too And for everyone!!!
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/22/15 8:33 AM
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Thanks. Gut Yom Tov to everyone!!!

Hope we all find true healing this Matan Torah!
 
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mouse
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5/22/15 2:06 PM
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Have a good Yom Tov folks. Hoping we all get through easily.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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5/26/15 3:17 AM
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Yom Tov is usually hard cause I'm around family but this time I LOVED it I was at a hotel program without my family and I met so many people and made new connections I'm so thankful
it's the first Yom Tov I enjoyed since last Shvuos went I also went to a hotel

How did you guys make out?
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/26/15 9:42 PM
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That's amazing.

Was thinking of going to a hotel this time too, but ditched the idea in the end, due to the expense. I'm considering it for Rosh Hashana - when my husband goes away again. Was it a program for singles? I've looked into Gateways in the past, and someone also mentioned the Jewish Heritage retreat.


Edited: 6/15/15 at 4:30 PM by wishtobehappy
 
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MoMo
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5/27/15 12:29 AM
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I was at Gateways and loved it but you're correct that it's exorbitantly expensive (my grandfather paid for me....)
 
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wishtobehappy
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Would love to try gateways. Maybe my grandpa will strike it rich by Rosh Hashana
 
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MoMo
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Hehe
 
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