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TOPIC TITLE: Shavuos
Created On 5/20/15 2:05 PM
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TBear
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5/20/15 2:05 PM
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How are you going to celebrate Shabbos and Shavuos?

I have been told that to stay up all night would be counterproductive to my mental health and so I will be sponsoring the all night learning at a local Yeshiva and sleeping. Also will try to complete all of Tehillim over Shavuos since it represents all of Torah, and always makes me feel so connected to Hashem.

Mostly, my therapist has suggested that I take the time to just "lighten up" some and do some things to take away any "should statements " or pressure. Perhaps take a walk or play a game with one of my children. Also, to have some quiet "me" time in my room talking to Hashem in my own words. Since I have to work all the way up to Friday - I have pre-ordered some food from a local caterer and assigned some easy to make recipes to my children just to take away some of the stress. We will be making an ice cream Har Sinai :-)

What are you doing to cope with and celebrate the three day holiday?
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/21/15 10:03 AM
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Tbear, you're amazing! Don't know what else to say.

I'm taking the easy route this time and will be staying with relatives. The only catch is that they're cheerful people who inhabit a completely different universe than my own, and that means I won't be free to mope for three whole days. Oh well. Maybe some of their joy will rub off on me. I sure wouldn't mind that.
 
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MoMo
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5/21/15 10:05 PM
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T Bear that sounds great!

Wish, I remember one Purim this whole forum was abuzz with how Purim was getting everyone down. I think the reason was because on Purim everyone is exhibiting so much joy and when it doesn't match what you're feeling it hurts, we feel different, it illustrates our pain to us, also there's a social pressure top conform to the mood around us so we feel compelled to hide and repress our real feelings....

My point is that it's valid for it to be difficult bring around cheerful people...
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/22/15 8:32 AM
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Thanks for validating Mo.

I don't know which is worse, being around happy people and faking it until you make it (which happens to me more an more often as I make progress) or being around people similar to me. One sister who's very similar to me - moodiness and moping-wise, stayed with me for a while, and to be honest, I think we were both dragging each other down..
 
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mouse
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5/22/15 2:13 PM
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I'm not looking forward to Shavuos. I quite frankly hate being with people...happy or otherwise. I am not having guests and don't plan to go out -- even for shul or a shiur. I know this sounds like a recipe for failure - and it probably is - but I didn't have the time or energy to prep for a different holiday. I don't want to see people or be seen. I just want to be forgotten. My daughter's cheerfulness is killing me, even though I KNOW she is having a hard time too with her stuff. She hasn't left me alone in days and I want to crawl out a window....unfortunately we live in a ranch style house so going down isn't very far . Oh well....such is life.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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MoMo
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5/26/15 3:19 AM
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So sorry Mouse, how did it turn out?
 
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keep climbing
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5/26/15 9:33 AM
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Wow, Momo, that sounds great!
Mouse, how was it?
I did pretty well, b'h, considering it was 3 days. I have to take really good care of myself to be stable-keep a regular sleep and eating schedule (quite an issue on Shavuos, ) walks, low prrssure, good books, limited shul........on and on. Sometimes, I get resentful. But mostly, I'm just grateful that it works.
 
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channafofanna
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5/26/15 7:44 PM
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Three day yuntifs can be really really hard. Glad tou hear you too survived ( I did too, as evident by the fact that Im posting)
Everyone else?
I just want to say Keep Climibing that I realy agree with the whole regular sleep and eating schedule thing. I always used to think it was stupid. Like when people would say sleep and eat and you wil feel better. Kind of like the whole " just go outside and take a walk and you will be cured" . I have to say that as skeptical as Ive been for years about it, I tried working on my eating and sleeping habits and it really does help with mood.
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/26/15 9:30 PM
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Survived too b"H. Stayed with husband's relatives who have it all together, and ended up feeling inadequate and misunderstood, although intellectually I know that they haven't had to deal with even an iota of what I had to. They're really nice, friendly and good people, but have not a clue about anything related to emotions and mental health, so I find no use explaining anything to them. I just try deal with the emotional fallout when I get home, and hopefully get stronger from it.

Being that I wasn't home, I found it almost impossible to stick to a normal eating and sleeping schedule, and suffered the inevitable consequences today. Felt horrible. So keepclimbing, you really have a point on that one, as well as the resentment about having to adhere to such a schedule, while everyone else is just fine and dandy without it. I did take walks, and tried to relax, and only went to shul on the second day for two hours or so. So I guess it could have been worse.


Edited: 6/15/15 at 4:26 PM by wishtobehappy
 
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MoMo
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5/27/15 12:18 AM
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Oy Wish I'm so sorry. If you explained to the Rebba how hard it's for you would he let your hubby stay home? Part of chiuv simchas Yom Tov is to make your wife happy!!!
 
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MoMo
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5/27/15 12:21 AM
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Keep climbing, I look up to you for investing the work even though the results aren't equal to the work. I sometimes throw in the towel if it anyway won't be a positive experience.
please keep on posting!!!!
 
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MoMo
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5/27/15 12:26 AM
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I was at a hotel for Yom Tov and it worked out good it was the most fun I had in months b"h
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/27/15 7:08 AM
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Edited: 6/15/15 at 4:27 PM by wishtobehappy
 
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mouse
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5/27/15 5:45 PM
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survived....barely


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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TBear
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5/29/15 7:06 PM
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Hope that all can enjoy Shabbos this week after the whirlwind of last week's yomin tovim!

Good Shabbos!
 
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mouse
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5/30/15 10:29 PM
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Got through Shabbos well . First decent one in a while.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/31/15 1:26 AM
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That's great.

Also had a pretty nice Shabbos b"H. Feeling more hopeful.
 
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MoMo
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5/31/15 11:49 AM
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I also had a nice Shabbos b"h
 
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TBear
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5/31/15 4:42 PM
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So glad MoMo, Mouse, Wish!

Shabbos is peaceful, letting go of everything (or at least trying to)- I had to take it easy again, and isolated over Shabbos in my home - my kids made everything, we are all reeling from the behavior of my 18 year old. she left in the night Thursday night/ Friday morning without saying goodbye... hasn't come back

The stress has been effecting my heart so I have to try to let it go, but how when it is your child?

Youngest was in tears again.... how do you explain to a 10 year old that her sister cannot be relied upon - love her but don't believe her? This is a tough one.....
 
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wishtobehappy
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5/31/15 5:05 PM
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Thanks Tbear.

You're a huge inspiration. I don't think too many people can do what you've done. May Hashem give you the strength to deal with it all and come out of it healthy in body and mind.
 
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channafofanna
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5/31/15 8:40 PM
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(HUGS) TBear!! Thats so hard!!! And Iagree with Wishtobehappy. You really are an inspiration, even if you dont feel like one.
Hang in there, were rooting for you ( and your family)
 
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