Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: Confuseddd..
Created On 9/4/15 1:41 PM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


Depressedprincess
Junior Supporter

Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2015

9/4/15 1:41 PM
User is offline

Hey so new to frum support. So hii..

I guess now really not looking forward to yom tov season. Shab is enough of a struggle.. Just been feeling wierd, like one moment I have loads of energy and acting OK and in general trying to show my parents that I'm doing well. When I get on my own, forget it I'm a mess, I want to die I hate myself and all the negativity come through just quite strongly. Just confused by it all. Feel like I should tell my support worker (in between changing therapists, new clinic is making me do a million assessment which I hate so much and finding so unhelpful..) But then I'm like why waste her time when I'm anyway gonna be dead soon plus I hate it when ppl worry about me and don't want her to alert my parents.. So yep in general feeling confused. Also lart of it is that I don't wnat help and I want to push her away.. I'm just like that. Not sure of the point of this post.. Hope I get through shab without oding or something...
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



keep climbing
Senior Supporter

Posts: 704
Joined: Apr 2013

9/4/15 6:21 PM
User is offline

Hi!Welcome! Sorry you're feeling so lousy. You've come to the right place.
I can relate to the ups and downs a a lot. I just started DBT therapy. It's supposed to help with these swings.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Depressedprincess
Junior Supporter

Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2015

9/6/15 3:37 PM
User is offline

Hi thanx for replying
Ye depression sucks like that. Especially now when I'm in between therapists, plus been away a lot then my support workers been away so with all that, the support I've had has been really inconsistent the past couple months. Makes me wanna hide it all and act normal even when I'm feeling the opposite of that. Funny, my parents commented that I'm doing so well, apparently my acting skills have gone up a notch. Survived Shabbos but super nervous for yom tov.. Struggling with food now more than generally and yom tov petrifies me.
Haven't been offered dbt, but can ask about it.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



keep climbing
Senior Supporter

Posts: 704
Joined: Apr 2013

9/9/15 10:49 AM
User is offline

How are you doing, DP?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Depressedprincess
Junior Supporter

Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2015

9/16/15 12:30 PM
User is offline

Unfortunately still alive. Rh was horrible, no idea how I did it. Couldnt go to shul was too claustrophobic and kept getting panic attacks. Rly not looking forward to the next month with all the chagim.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



HopefulMommy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1612
Joined: Nov 2005

9/22/15 6:30 AM
User is offline

Sorry you're having such a hard time. Have you tried taking Xanax before going to shul? It helps me a lot.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Interested
Supporter

Posts: 52
Joined: Jan 2007

10/1/15 4:14 PM
User is offline

I can relate to feeling the dread of going to shul, or rather going out at all. The minutes leading up to RH were full of inner dread and I just wished that I didn't have any expectations to do anything. It feels terrible.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Geneshe Gruen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2015

10/27/15 11:02 AM
User is offline

hiya to all.......im new here....and im really connecting to all the stuff youre all ranting about unfortunately............
How do you guys live it all through?!?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Interested
Supporter

Posts: 52
Joined: Jan 2007

10/27/15 6:59 PM
User is offline

Great question.

Most times I don't think about how I am making it through because I am, perhaps, preoccupied with worrying how I am going to make it through. Other times I am actually engaged in something that is a big part of my life (outside suffering) such as those everyday things we do or the mundanes of a working schedule.

Ultimately, my panic/anxiety, and sometimes depression, feels thoroughly overwhelming, and it is in those moments that anything else seems worthless and futile. The amazing and crazy thing is that such a moment could last for hours or just mere minutes.

Hoping yours will last seconds,

Interested
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Geneshe Gruen
Junior Supporter

Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2015

10/28/15 9:16 AM
User is offline

well well!! yeah, i find myself purposely creating back to back schedules so that i have no time to think about how insane my life rlly is, which is technically pathetic, because noone was ever healed by denying their problems!!
BUT theres a limit to pain, and in order to function-if u may call it function-i busy myself in that way.....
PHEW so downrightfully crazy! i hate living this way!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



keep climbing
Senior Supporter

Posts: 704
Joined: Apr 2013

10/28/15 2:38 PM
User is offline

Don't mean to sound preachy, but consider yourself fortunate that you are ABLE to keep SO busy. Many of us would love to, but CAN"T.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Interested
Supporter

Posts: 52
Joined: Jan 2007

10/28/15 8:24 PM
User is offline

I can agree about hating/despising/loathing living this way. While today has been a decent day, I have had moments where I feel a powerful urge to connect ; connect with something more than myself.....perhaps it is just a feeling of not feeling connected in the first place.

We all want to feel purposeful, to feel that what we are doing, thinking and being makes a difference. While it may not be "my depression", depression is known to leave one feeling withdrawn or disconnected...perhaps those moments when I am looking to connect are merely moments when I am feeling THAT specific manifestation of depression. However, as much of a realization as this is or may seem, it doesn't seem like it would make a difference and make those same future moments any better or easier...

What do you think?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



keep climbing
Senior Supporter

Posts: 704
Joined: Apr 2013

10/29/15 5:30 AM
User is offline

I can relate to the feeling of being disconnected. Sharing the truth about myself with others helps. It's shame that's keeping me separate, and opening my weaknesses links me to people. We are all in this together. Everybody struggles.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Depression < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.