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TOPIC TITLE: HELP...Pesach is comin up
Created On 4/13/08 11:21 PM
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Fragile
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4/13/08 11:21 PM
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Hey guys, I'm reeeeeally nervous for pesach. The thought of it terrifies me.
Anyone have any ideas how to survive?
I'm sooo scared.
 
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su7kids
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4/13/08 11:23 PM
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How do you cope during the year? and Why will Pesach be so much harder?


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Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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bubbs96
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4/14/08 8:26 AM
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fragile, i sooooo feel your panic and pain....pesach has always been my biggest danger time, biggest symptom usage, biggest relapse time, etc.......this year is even more complicated for me b/c i have developed severe GI disorder on top of my ED:-P......can you tell me what symptoms u struggle with? then maybe we can help each other with plans to stay as safe as possible over pesach?

the most important things i've learned over the years are: 1) have a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan (ie, for meals) going in...
2) know what to do to take care of yourself if you slip and use a symptom (ie, rehydration and elecrtolytes if u purge, for example--NOT so simple on pesach!!) so that u don't put urself in a dangerous situation
3) altho pesach is by far the most overwhelming time of the year for many if not most of us with EDs, the "golden rule" still applies (this is sooo hard to remember but important) SLIPPING ONCE IS SLIPPING ONCE: IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO FALL INTO USING SYMPTOMS ALL YOM TOV OR EVEN ALL DAY.

anyway, but like i said, i have unfortunately LOTS of knowledge and experience screwing up on pesach....AND making plans to NOT screw up......i feel fairly confident about this year, tho it will be a VERY big challenge and i'm very very scared about it, and my health......so, let's share!

we can do this!!

pesach is a celebration of freedom....let's be free of our ED's for even a few hours this yom tov.....


-------------------------
"Recovery is a process, not an event."
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
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Fragile
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4/14/08 5:34 PM
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There is no structure on pesach.
Days revolve around meals.
There is soo much food and people around.
All of my safe foods are chometz and can't be eaten on pesach.
I don't know how i'm gona manage. I'm seriously freaking out.
I've developed gi problems as well from all the purging i do:-(
I'm soo nervous that I wont survive it.
 
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su7kids
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4/14/08 5:55 PM
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So, lets hear the PLAN. You must have done a lot of therapy and your therapist has helped you make plans in the future. So, lets hear the plan for Pesach.

I'm sure you can do it. If you don't have one, maybe you can ask some pertinent questions =- or others can on this forum -- to help you form one.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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bubbs96
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4/15/08 12:12 PM
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fragile, u and i seem like we could be twins!! i really share sooo many of your anxieties about pesach.....let's see if we can break some of these down.

first: where are you going to be for pesach and who are you going to be with? do they know about your ED and are they supportive or critical?

next: what kinds of foods are your safe foods? can you think of similar foods that are ok for pesach? i know its not the same and even the smallest change can really throw you, but like i said, going in with some kind of plan and making it "ok" in your mind ahead of time can help a little....let's brainstorm!!

next: structure IS a killer....not just yom tov, anytime. I plan to stock up on books and magazines. (Tho I have it a little easier--I'm working in a hotel, so my mornings are pretty structured). That's one of the reasons why I asked where you would be....is there an activity around that you can get involved in? Speakers you can go to? Even if you're not interested in them, it gets you out of the house and away from obsessing about food. Can you make yourself a schedule? Plan day-trips for chol hamoed? Even stupid ones....these may seem like annoying tasks, or things that you "shouldn't have to do"....but we do what it takes to keep ourselves safe, right? When I came out of IP the first time, I literally had to write out on paper every minute of every day....dumb, but necessary....so, any thoughts?

As for the "so much food and people around" I can DEFINITELY relate....working in a hotel!!! absolute ED nightmare!! Can you tell me more specifically what you are worried about, maybe I can help you think up some coping skills....

What kind of GI probs do you have? Are you seeing a doc or on any meds or special diet? If so, have you consulted a rabbi about continuing through pesach? It might not be as bad as you think....

Write back...lets help each other....we WILL get through this.....remember, pesach is ONLY 8 days....


-------------------------
"Recovery is a process, not an event."
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
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Fragile
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4/15/08 3:55 PM
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Bubbs96, u don't know how much this means to me that someone's in this together with me. Thanks

I will be home on pesach with my entire family. All of my married siblings are coming. They knew i had an eating disorder but they were not very supportive of it. They were very ashamed of it and tried to cover it up in every possible way. They do not know about my recent relapse, thank god.

So basically what i eat now (when I'm behaving!) is not too much and i eat the same thing every day.
Breakfast- rice krispies with milk
Lunch- tuna sandwich
Dinner- eggs with bread
Snack- (sometimes) marshmallow treats- the 100 cal packaged ones.
I cant really eat any of this stuff.
Lets see, so breakfast i can eat yogurt (it's not really enough but i can't really help it)
Lunch- thats probably goin to be during a meal so i guess I'll have to eat matzah (yikes) Do u know how much is the least i can eat of it? It really scares me.
I can eat a slice of fish (double yikes). Thats it 4 lunch
Dinner- I can't eat at 12:00 a.m! That's insane! Any ideas?
Snack- I'll eat an apple.
Woot!! I'm gettin somewhere!

Structure- I dont like to read but i can hang out with my friends. I'll ask around if there are any speeches in my area...
The meals are at crazy hours. Everything gets all messed up. I usually eat at 8:00, 12:30, snack-4:00, 6:30. I can't just eat at random hours *sigh*

I hate hate hate eating in public. It's one of my biggest fears. I think of food as evil and eating it makes me evil. (for some odd reason i don't think like that about anyone else, only me- weird) I always think everyone is staring at me and scrutinizing everything i eat. It's a nightmare.

As far as my gi issues, i ruptured my esophogus 2 yrs ago but that healed already. I recently ruptured my eg (esophogal gastro) junction and I also have severe acid reflux. I've been on medication for a while and had to refrain from eating certain foods. Raw vegetables, milk products, spicy foods, certain wheats, acidic fruits... I've started eating some of these things like dairy products and it doesnt harm me. It doesn't conflict with pesach though, so thats good. I think matzah is ok.

Thanks 4 all your support!
Let's beat this stupid ed together!!

 
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su7kids
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4/15/08 6:33 PM
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Besides the Sedorim, are you obligated to eat matzah at every meal? I personally don't, and I don't have an ED. I just don't like wheat and am not thrilled about matza either.

Fragile, you're definitely making a plan here!! Good for you.



-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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Holding on
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4/15/08 11:56 PM
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Just wanted to wish you Hatzlacha.
It's so nice to see you working together, helping each other out.
 
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bubbs96
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4/16/08 3:40 PM
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fragile (and all):

I really want to respond but I only have computer access at work, and am leaving soon, and am flying to AZ early in the morning tomorrow.....I have internet, email on my PDA, but sometimes can't sign into websites like this one (even tho I can read posts)....anyway, can we continue this conversation by email? chanie911@yahoo.com



-------------------------
"Recovery is a process, not an event."
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
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Fragile
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4/16/08 6:10 PM
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You've got mail!
 
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Holding on
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4/28/08 1:24 PM
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how did you all manage?
Hope it was 'okay'
 
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bubbs96
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4/30/08 5:20 PM
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I managed to do ok, tho it was REALLY hard.....i followed my calorie contract and managed to do what I needed most days, tho mentally it was (and is still) torture.....this was definitely the most successful pesach i've ever had, so i feel good about that. now i'm just trying to keep that momentum to work on doing better than i was before i left....

how about everyone else?


-------------------------
"Recovery is a process, not an event."
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
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Holding on
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5/1/08 1:07 AM
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I can understand how hard it must be, but
a HUGE congrats!!!
I'm so happy for you Keep it up!!
 
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mouse
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5/1/08 4:04 AM
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Whooooohooooo! So glad it worked out for you. Food-wise, I did pretty well too. I didn't binge and purge much although I had such good reasons to do so. (It was the worst Pesach I've ever had and I've had some pretty bad ones -- grandparents dying, etc.) The stress was there but I didn't take it out on food. (I must admit, though, it was taken out in other forms -- see the SI postings.)


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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