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bubbs96
Supporter

Posts: 151
Joined: Aug 2007
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9/15/08 8:08 PM
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I know I've been away for a while, but I'll totally join in on the anxiety about this.....I hate that this comes up every year (you may be thinking "duh", but I WISH it was a situtaion of "ask once, get one answer, end of it".....not, every year I have to present a case to my rabbi (at which point he sometimes asks me to call another rabbi) of why I can't fast on yom kippur. This year, I'm BARELY just out of IP, I can barely do what I need to as it is, and there is no doubt in my mind that fasting (IF i'm physically capable, which I'm not sure of), would equal maajor relapse. but i just don't feel like thats "enough".....so I beg all my doctors and nutritionist and therapists every year to tell me what might happen medically if I fast, to avoid the issue altogether......WHY are we so ashamed to admit that fasting has dangerous power over us and our ED's?? I email my rabbi all the time, as we are in different states, so I don't see why emailing isn't an option..... well, we have each other....i guess that's something.....my (non-jewish) team looks at me like i'm crazy when i'm still freaking out over asking the yom kippur question this year, but they just don't get how hard it is.....
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"Recovery is a process, not an event." Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
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bubbs96
Supporter

Posts: 151
Joined: Aug 2007
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9/22/08 8:51 PM
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KLY I can sort of relate to you....I stress out insanely over where to go for YK (especially if I am not fasting)...I don't want anyone to know, am super-ashamed....want to sit in shul all day and daven but can't physically....i guess i am "lucky" in that i do find prayer, etc to be meaningful to me, but at the same time i have that much more internal guilt....i don't know...
has anyone had any experience with R' Willig? My rabbi has referred me to him, but doesn't have an email address for him which means (gulp) I have to call. I'm seriously anxious....
also, how is everyone feeling about rosh hashana.....I'm stressed about the holidays and meals, going away, having to get dressed (one of MY major triggers)....this time of year is sooo hard for me.....i guess i'm just reaching out for support....
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"Recovery is a process, not an event." Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
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Fragile
Supporter

Posts: 38
Joined: Oct 2007
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9/24/08 11:45 AM
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Yeah, I'm totally with u guys on this. I'm FREAKING OUT. I hate holidays and shabbos. It's all about food food food and I can't take it. I'm unstable as it is, I'm surely going to relapse on the holidays  Killedlastyear, It would be really cool if we had that retreat lol!
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