i dont know what to do about yom kippur because fasting is the biggest trigger for me ever. it sets me up for major bingeing and purging and then i get angry about religion and it just puts me in a bad place. last yr to avoid yom kippur i took ten sleeping pills because the only way i could think to get through it was to sleep through it. i know its dangerous option but honestly i feel like no matter how far i am in recovery, fasting sets me up. i dont want to talk to a rav because its so hard and uncomfortable for me to explain what fasting does for me. and on top of it i feel so guilty and feel like i'm rationalizing(even though i dont keep basic halachos), because not fasting makes me feel like a failure and completely out of control. its not about yom kippur, a day of atonement bla bla bla, its only 100000000% about the food. but i dont know how to explain to a rav and its so embarrassing. im already so stressed out about it.
oh and to top it off yom kippur falls out on my bday this yr....lol i guess...

i had a bad experience with him....but thanks.

My wife and I have dealt with Rabbi Dewik and he is so sweet and caring

Kol Tuv,
Aba of 4

Fasting is the worst for me too.
I'm totally panicking and I feel stupid calling a rabbi.

I'm working so hard on my recovery and I know this will ruin everything.

Has anyone asked a rav about this before?

I know I've been away for a while, but I'll totally join in on the anxiety about this.....I hate that this comes up every year (you may be thinking "duh", but I WISH it was a situtaion of "ask once, get one answer, end of it".....not, every year I have to present a case to my rabbi (at which point he sometimes asks me to call another rabbi) of why I can't fast on yom kippur. This year, I'm BARELY just out of IP, I can barely do what I need to as it is, and there is no doubt in my mind that fasting (IF i'm physically capable, which I'm not sure of), would equal maajor relapse. but i just don't feel like thats "enough".....so I beg all my doctors and nutritionist and therapists every year to tell me what might happen medically if I fast, to avoid the issue altogether......WHY are we so ashamed to admit that fasting has dangerous power over us and our ED's??
I email my rabbi all the time, as we are in different states, so I don't see why emailing isn't an option.....
well, we have each other....i guess that's something.....my (non-jewish) team looks at me like i'm crazy when i'm still freaking out over asking the yom kippur question this year, but they just don't get how hard it is.....

kly, yepp a rabbi once told me its better to sleep all day and fast but ugh. yeah bubbs, at least we can all understand each other.

toootaly freaking out about rosh hashana... i hate how all the jewish holidays revolve around food. and i feel like we make them revolve around food even more than we really have to.
at least i already warned my mom that i am NOT going to be eating when we eat out at peoples houses. she's more ok with me not eating then with me not praying.
its too bad there's not like eating disorder get-away retreats for the holidays. can you imagine? it'd be chaos, all of us in one room freaking out at the same time. at least we'd understand each other though.

yeah i think im like one of the only people on this planet who actualy hates weekends. all because of shabbat. and food on shabbat.

awww bubbs im so sorry to hear that
i hope you're able to find a place where you're at least a lil comfortable.

I'M FREAKING OUT

Fasting=relapse

Do you have Rabbi Goldwasser's phone number?

Are any of you interested in responding to an anonymous online survey about disordered eating in the Orthodox community? As a fellow survivor of an eating disorder, I am currently examining the struggles specific to the Orthodox community regarding eating disorders. I believe the only way to heal is to educate; I am researching and writing a term paper on this topic.

I would be interested, could you provide a link?

bubbs96,

Wow that's a blasts from the past.

I hope you log on one more time to tell us how you have been doing.

Kol Tuv.

I need the number of a rav that can tell me what to do about yom kippur ASAP!!!! I still don't know if I should or shouldn't fast!!! I just started doing a tiny bit better and now...i dunno! I once spoke to rabbi deuik but I dunno if he's a posek so I dunno if I should call him now. Any names and numbers?!

you okay with it?

happy to hear, hope it goes well!