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TOPIC TITLE: any adult anorexics out there?
Created On 3/11/05 1:38 PM
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ernie55B
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3/11/05 1:38 PM
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I am an adult male anorexic. I have lost 55 lbs. in one year. It is depression related. I am being treated for depression, but I am told anorexia is hard to fix in adults. Anyone out there that has some useful info.?


Edited: 3/24/05 at 2:37 PM by ernie55B
 
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ash
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4/27/05 9:26 AM
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hey ernie...anorexia from depression may be quite diff to anorexia nervosa. Weight loss from depression doesn't usually result from the distorted thinking processes and constant fear of people with anorexia nervosa.
 
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haimk63
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6/16/05 2:23 PM
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Have you heard of the book
"The Thin You Within you" by Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. ?

Wishing you refuah shlema,
Haim
 
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ernie55B
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Thank you Haim!

I will look for the book.

Ernie
 
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frumtherapist
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11/17/05 1:11 PM
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Ernie, I'd be curious to know how you came to the conclusion that you suffer from an eating disorder. From the info. you gave, it seems quite intertwined with your depression...
have you been formally assessed for an ED?
 
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ernie55B
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How I came to the conclusion? I lost 55 lbs. in a year and am terrified of gaining it back.
My Pdoc., psychologist, and Internist all are in agreement that I am an anorexic.
My Pdoc. says it is very difficult to treat in adult males, though that does not mean I am not working hard at it.
Yes, depression is a large part of it, but that is usually the case in anorexia.
Very typical of anorexics to be in bad relationships. I certainly qualify for that.
 
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frumtherapist
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11/23/05 1:29 PM
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Well, I'm still uncertain - but assume you are in good hands - and wish you a refuah shleima...
Do you participate in any group-based therapy?
 
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ernie55B
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11/24/05 1:31 PM
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Thank You for your good wishes. I don't know why you would be uncertain about the diagnosis when an ED specialist has diagnosed me as such.

Between psychologist twice a week, and ED specialist once a week, who has time (or money)
for group therapy?
 
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frumtherapist
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I happen to be a big believer in the power of groups. It is difficult at times to find an appropriate group, but there is a unique aspect to group therapy that cannot be replicated in individual psychotherapy. It is not indicated for everyone and for every problem, but it sounds like something that might suit you. You have posted many times on this site, and clearly benefit from the power of reaching out and connecting with others. That is why I mentioned it.
 
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Torsalicious613
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i would like to let ernie and everyone else/anyone else know that i am very insecure with my body, i've thought i was too fat since about the age of 9, when i was ballooning up to growin my 4 year long growth spurt that would follow. i thought my knees were too big (you know, the bulges on either side of your knees? i thought they were too big and "fat". what i didn't realize was that i needed this fat to grow. and boy, did i grow. i went up 5 shoe sizes (including 1/2's) in one year. over the next four years i grew from 4'10'' to about 5'7''. (at age 13 i grew 1 inch more too.) during my whole adolescence and prepuberty years, i was so ashamed of my body, that i would wear my clothes to hide my "belly" that i didn't have that was in my imagination, and would stare for hours in the mirror wishing that i were skinnier or i had bigger youknowwhats or whatever. i would obsess. like every girl does you would say, but for me, yes, UNHEALTHELLY. i would be ashamed when i wore a bathingsuit by the pool or beach or leotards to dance in at camp. i was HORRIFIED of my body. simply HORRIFIED. but there was nothing to be horrified about. it was all in my IMAGINATION. So yes, there is hope. i am quite heavy right now, but tall, and statuesque and i feel beautiful and happy with my body-- more than i ever did before. now i can truly concentrate on getting skinny. for the RIGHT reasons. to be HEALTHY. to live LONGER, more PRODUCTIVE days and a LONGER, HAPPIER, HEALTHIER life. it's not about them, the world: it's about you. think of what you must do and how you feel and the rest will fall into place and do what it's supposed to dso. ultimately, it's up to HASHEM and if you really believe and trust in him as i am struggling and trying and actually kind of succeeding (i know it's wierd to me too) you belive He will take care of you, and make things fall into place. then, as i've concluded, you don't NEED to worry about weight. it's just not important. and life is too important to focus too intently on the little things. the little things are for Hashem, the big things are for us. ewe do the big things? Hashem will help us with the little things. it's just the way of the world, life, and yes, i believe, even the way of G-d Himself. Well, i've got to go, but i hope i've illustrated some inspiration for those who need it. i feel your pain. but i can also see beyond it. hopefully someday you can too. and i don't see MUCH beyond it, so i can sympathize and empathise with you, but i can see glimmers as i'm sure you can and all of us can too. it's not about nerssecarilly what we look like, but who we are thart matters. yeah, yeah, i know you've heard it before. but guess what? AFTER MANY YEARS OF DEBATING WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS, it's true. i am 22 now, and quite happily fat, but as the years go o n, i do intent to look more and more how i feel: which is, well, good! life's not too short: life's too long to be worried about the little stuff. eat broccoli! eat ice cream! as long as you're simply doing it to satiate yourself, which is what it's for. and don't over or under do it. ultimately, it's supposed to keep you healthy. eat it! it's what it's designed for. bye! have a great week!

atara

and p.s. we all struggle with weight, just some more than others

bye!


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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sorry, did i sound a little too bipolar there? alright, alright, i'm taking my meds. bye!

atara


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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ernie55B
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1/4/06 7:18 AM
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Hi Atara!

I am really glad that you have come to terms with your eating issues and are comfortable with your body. My case is a bit different though. I have never had a body image problem.
I think I look just fine- I even know I am a bit too thin.
But there are the underlying emotional issues that get in the way of eating, which is what anorexia is all about. Using food to feel like you have some control in life.
My therapist is very confident that in a few months I will improve, because she is sure that I will become happier with my current life situation.
I guess time will tell...

Thanks,
Ernie
 
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Torsalicious613
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ernie, good! i'm happy 4 u!

atara


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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lookinforhelp
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2/28/06 10:28 AM
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Hey guys!

I'm kinda worried that I might be developing an ED.

See, it all began when I realized that my class-mates were all either anorexic or bulimic and I was really depressed and decided to stop eating. So I did, and I lost 20 lbs in a pretty quick time-frame. Now I'm back to eating, but am terrified of gaining back the weight I lost, and going to the gym just isn't working out for me. So my friends are trying to convince me to throw up my food. Yeah, I know, great friends, right? And I'm scared that if I do it once, I'll like it and turn it into a habit.

I know myself; I can't taste even a teeny tiny piece of chocolate cake cuz then I'll be hooked and won't be able to control myself. I'm scared with this too... And so far I haven't allowed myself to do it yet, but I feel like I'm begining to cave in!

What should I do??

Thanks, LFH
 
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Torsalicious613
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3/1/06 12:46 AM
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i can totally sympathize, lfh. but take it from me, someone who used to binge eat and then threw up because of it-- once-- only once-- throwing up is not the way, and you won't like it definitely the first time at least. i hated it and i never want to do it again. it just took one time. i felt soo out of control afterwards and that if i didn't stop myself, i'd be throwing up forever. a horrible, horrible feeling. just eat right. lfh. good night!

atara


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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ernie55B
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3/1/06 9:14 AM
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Hi L!

Did you talk your therapist about this? As an expert in Anorexia, I can tell you it not only takes over your life, but can kill you as well.

It drives me crazy weighing myself 10 times per day afraid of gaining while at the same time worried that my doctor will hospitalize me if I lose more.

Please address it now!!!

Ernie
 
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lookinforhelp
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3/19/06 6:05 AM
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Torah, you were right.

I just needed to try it once, to prove to myself that I don't need it... And once was more than enough.

Don't worry Ernie, I'm on the mend...

Thanks guys!!

-LFH
 
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Holding on
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5/15/06 7:41 PM
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Hi,
I'm not an expert on eating disorders, but I've heard of people who have belemia. This person has been throwing up her food so often that the acid from her stomach has literally eaten away at her teeth. She has no molars left.
If that isn't enough, permanent bad breath? Yuck.
Talk to someone, please.Dont make yourself sick.
 
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emptysmile
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6/12/06 3:51 PM
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yeah holding on..i heard also that it destroys the back of your front teeth , so u end up loosing all teeth..
i used to not eat for like3 days in a row and on the forth eat a little too much aand barf it. then it would hurt to eat cuz i would feel like barfing. so after a while i would convince my self to at least every day eat breakfast..
now im eating supper instead. well either it is breakfast or spper.


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"life is like a box of chocolates always too many nuts and never enough caramels."
 
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ernie55B
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7/16/06 10:30 AM
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I'm still surprised that I have not heard any adult anorexics in all this time.
I'm sure they are out there.

My MD gave it to me straight the other day: Either gain a significant amount of weight
in 4 weeks, or I will be put into an in-patient program.

I cannot afford to spend a few weeks in a facility as I am trying to run a business (which is hard enough even when I am here).

Most people don't understand why this is so difficult for me. But there are many factors involved, mostly severe depression which makes it extremely difficult to even think about eating.
There is also alot of stress going on in my personal life which I am having a hard time with.

Yes, I am being treated for all these issues, but so far with not much success.

Guess I'm on my own here.

Ernie


 
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gad
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Ernie, you're not alone. People on this site care about you and write to you alot; and also G-d cares about you and helps you and watches over you with Divine Providence (Hashgocho Protis).

I hope that things improve and that you have only good news to tell.

I know that you want to talk to someone who has the same issues, and I hope you do find someone who you can talk to who will help.

I hope that your efforts to gain weight are successful, and that you can have good things in your life to be happy about.

 
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killedlastyear
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well if an adult means being over 18 i deff fit into that catagory, though being that i'm under 25 i dont know how much of an adult i am exactly. i do understand what you're going through to an extent though. it sounds like where i'm at might not be as extreme right now though i have lost around 50 pounds this past year as well. i'm not in a business and no one has "threatened" to put me in any kind of hospital or program. i do know how hard it is when people tell you to "just eat" and you're like "well i just CANT". its really hard. its impossible. and the brain just says no. no, this body is just not in the mood for food. to eat. to strugle. its too hard.

but, yo, you're never on your own. theres everyone here rooting for you. and even if no one is in your exact situation (because you never will find someone who is), i'm sure there are alot of people who can relate to what you say to their own situations and can maybe give you some support through that.

good luck! i hope you find strength to battle it all.
 
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ernie55B
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7/17/06 6:44 AM
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Hello Gad,

Thanks for you support and good wishes as always.

This is a battle that I am pretty sure I can overcome, although it will be hard.

Ernie
 
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ernie55B
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Hello KLY,

Thanks to you too, for your support and well wishes.

It sounds to me that you ARE in a pretty extreme situation yourself, having lost 50 lbs. in a year.
That's a heck of alot, you know.

May I ask if you use food issues to feel like you have some control in your life? That's basically what
anorexia is all about.

I hope your mother will finally get you the therapist that
you know you need. (Maybe she should read some of your posts here).
I see someone very good; I think she will help get me through this.

Thanks again, and as I said last week, I think it is great that even in your darkest moments you still have
an encouraging word for someone else.

Ernie
 
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