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TOPIC TITLE: anxiety due to eating out.
Created On 3/13/09 10:51 AM
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killedlastyear
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3/13/09 10:51 AM
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I haven't binged in two months. I've been measuring out my food and counting all the calories that I eat. I've been planing out my meals. Being really good (yet slightly obsessive i'll admit). We're going out to eat for shabbat lunch. my family's been to eat at other people's houses before but I brought my own food. We aren't as close with this family though so I feel very uncomfortable asking them if I can do that. I don't want to eat their food. I have no idea how much oil or sugar or anything else they use in their cooking.
I'm planing on bringing my own bread and praying they serve a salad without dressing. other then that i'm just planing on sitting it out and eating the rest of my meal when i get home.
I've been to family's meals on shabbat and not eaten at all before. But those were the days when i was restricting/fasting and had totally disordered eating habits. Now I'm actually trying to eat "normally" and i feel so wrong doing this.
i'm fine eating meals by myself at home. but my parents of course want to go out. my mom won't let me eat at home by myself. she has a "if you're going to do stay home we'll stay home" thing. but she keeps saying how restricting it is and how it's not normal and how i have to start eating out. and giving me a real big deal about it.
but i haven't binged in two months and i'm doing really well. for once i've been having more good days then bad ones. my self esteem has really improved. and i personally don't care about eating out or not. people can come to us.
grrrrrrrr. what do i do? put my foot down and say i'm just not going out anymore unless i can bring my own food comfortably? and deal with her bothering me and worrying over me? or just go and sit the meals out and have that whole boringness/awkwardness/anxiety?
 
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Aba
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3/13/09 1:52 PM
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Sorry no advice here but I do want to say I proud you have been doing so well and I'll have you in my prayers over Shaboos. I hope it works out.
Aba


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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killedlastyear
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3/14/09 7:21 PM
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thank you, aba. i don't know if you had me in your prayers for real or not but it ended up working out just fine.
i brought my own bread. had some salad and fish during the first course and didn't eat anything during the main course (no comments were made) and then had fruit for dessert.
i was lucky this time there was food i could eat.
 
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Leah Anderson
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3/14/09 8:13 PM
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Excellent, that is a real success story!
 
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Aba
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3/15/09 8:37 AM
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Yay I'm so happy it worked.
I most defiantly did have you in my tefillos over Shaboos at the end of each Shmonah Esry (I don't remember about Musaf but 3 out of 4 isn't bad ). Even thought it was Shaboos I felt your situation warranted "personal Bakoshos". I do have to admit it was strange using your nickname, killedlastyear, but I'm sure G-d knew who I meant.

May you continue going from strength to strength.
Aba


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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torah momma
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3/15/09 7:21 PM
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I'm also proud of you. Stay strong.
 
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Holding on
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3/15/09 10:08 PM
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Way to go!
 
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killedlastyear
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3/18/09 11:14 AM
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thanks everyone
and thank you aba!
 
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