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TOPIC TITLE: Shidduchim...Shidduchim
Created On 5/21/09 10:37 PM
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fgg
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Posts: 6
Joined: May 2009

5/21/09 10:37 PM
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Scares me to no end. Am at the stage in life where I'm constantly thinking about shidduchim...and how unlikely it'll be for me to get a good shidduch. Besides the fact that my ED is not a secret (Everyone knows about it...school, camp., family friends...) and that few regular "non-damaged" guys would be willing to hear from me, I'm also concerned about my capabilities.

Yes, I can recover and am thank g-d in the proccess as of now....yet, its agreed by all proffesionals in the field that the ED never really goes away and that in times of stress and hardships, it is likely to resurface- and sometimes with the initial intensity, regardless of how many years have passed.

So, if by a small margin of chance i would get married...am I capable of being a wife and mother?? Life is bound to have its ups..and DOWNS! If I'm prone to falling back into the ED...how can I ever trust myself and commit to marriage?

Do any of you know of people that have had EDs and now have succesful marriages with NORMAL husbands? Is it possible? I'm feeling extremely hopeless!
 
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gad
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Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

5/22/09 4:19 AM
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Quote

Originally posted by: fgg
Do any of you know of people that have had EDs and now have succesful marriages with NORMAL husbands?


Yes, I'm aware of cases.

However, sometimes people with certain imperfections may "trade-off" and take someone with a different imperfection. But they are still bashert for each other. G-d wants them to be together, because they form one soul, and because they are suited to help each other to accomplish their mission in life.

Shidduchim is about two people liking each other, and helping each other overcome imperfections and challenges, in order to build a Jewish home.
Because no one is perfect. Every person is lacking in one way or another. And yet many people live very happy lives together.

People often worry if they have what it takes to accomplish things. But it's often similar to jumping into a pool for a swim. The water seems too cold; but once you jump in, it's fine.

With an attitude that all will be well, and trusting in G-d that He will make your efforts successful, and that He will guide you to find your bashert, you give yourself a tremendous advantage in achieving good things.

Hope to hear good news.
 
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Aba
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Posts: 546
Joined: Jul 2008

5/22/09 9:35 AM
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>marriages with NORMAL husbands
I'd like to think I normal but I'm sure my kids will take issue on it .

>With an attitude that all will be well, and trusting in G-d that He will make your efforts successful, and that He will guide you to find your bashert, you give yourself a tremendous advantage in achieving good things.

Not that having betuchon needs my huscumah but it is great advice for getting married and all the curve balls Hashem will throw your way in life. The more you practice it the farther you will hit the ball.

Kol Tuv,
Aba


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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