Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: Rosh Hashana
Created On 9/18/09 2:50 PM
Topic View:

Pages: [ << 1 2 3 4 >> Previous Next ]
View thread in raw text format


Aba
Senior Supporter

Posts: 546
Joined: Jul 2008

1/21/10 10:21 PM
User is offline View users profile

Sorry I'm not quite involved here as I used to be.
I'm glad you were finnaly able to decide to do it.
Good Luck,
Kol Tuv,
Aba


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

1/24/10 9:19 PM
User is offline

Okay, so here's the update. I've decided that I'm willng to go inpatient, but my therapist is not sure that is the right step for me to take at this point for me personally. And now she's on vacation for the next week, so I guess everything is kind of on hold until she comes back.
It is nerve-wracking and frustrating - just not knowing what will be. In the meantime, I've been looking into various places, trying to figure out which ones are good and which are not, which take my insurance, what the criteria are for acceptance into the programs, etc.
I just wish I knew what's going to be happening, so that I can make arrangements if necessary.

Btw, does anyone know anything about Somerset Hospital's eating disorders program? (In NJ)


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



mouse
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1931
Joined: Oct 2007

1/25/10 4:46 AM
User is offline View users profile

best of luck


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



mouse
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1931
Joined: Oct 2007

1/25/10 4:49 AM
User is offline View users profile

DandO...I looked into it....I wasn't as impressed by its rep as I was with Princeton's. And I don't think it will be as understanding about he kosher thing. But that was seven yrs ago. Maybe they got wiser.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

1/25/10 12:19 PM
User is offline

Grrrrrr - my computer is being unbelievably slow today.

Thanks munkster. I guess I'll ask Relief about them - I assume they would know.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

1/25/10 6:31 PM
User is offline

I spoke with my nutritionist today... She was really, really tough. But I guess that did the trick - because I got rid of my scale!!! I called a friend of mine to come pick it up from my house, so now it's gone. I can get it back from her any time I want - so I'm still in control in some sense - but it's gone from my house.
And honestly, I feel liberated. I ate one of my high risk foods before without feeling too bad, because I'm not worried about what number I'll see on my scale tomorrow morning.
I hope, hope, hope this is the beginning of better things to come...


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



channafofanna
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1351
Joined: Jul 2009

1/25/10 7:07 PM
User is offline View users profile

btw- relief is the best place to call in the world. once they get back to you (fyi- from experience- always leave a message on the EMERGENCY line (well thats what my mother does) cuz really, when it comes to menatl health its always an emergancy, and u cant stand along waiting all year. but by emergency they get back 2 u within the week
neway - i got my therapist from relief, and shes good so far (wich 4 me is a complement) and always remember to leave coments

ne way - good job!!!! hopefuly the lack of scale will help (it helps me)
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

1/26/10 5:48 PM
User is offline

It's interesting that it takes so long for Relief to get back to you. I've been dealing with them for quite a while, and they always get back to me within a day.

Anyway, feeling a bit down on myself, because I already got back my scale. I just couldn't deal with being without it...

I went to the doctor's office today. They weighed me, and it showed a higher number than I was yesterday. I need my scale. I'm confusing myself - yesterday I was all gung-ho about getting better - and now? I do want to, but I just can't let go. It's like I have moments of inspiration, but they don't last too long...

Where/when will this all end? I know it's up to me taking those painful baby steps - but I just can't seem to do them/stick to them.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



hugs
Senior Supporter

Posts: 411
Joined: Nov 2009

1/28/10 7:36 PM
User is offline

Food is a huge struggle for me right now! I've put myself back on my starvation diet big time but binged already which means that I've purged already. I've restarted it because I feel so out of control of all my emotions and e/t that's happening to me that I just need this small amount of control that not eating gives me!
I KNOW I shouldn't start again but I have and even was on a high cuz of it... does that make me bad?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/28/10 7:58 PM
User is offline

I'm sorry that things are so hard.
I wouldn't say that it makes you bad. It just shows how much pain you're in and this is the way your dealing with your pain right now. But you're definetly NOT BAD because of it.
Hope things get better quickly.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.

Edited: 1/28/10 at 8:02 PM by toy123
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

1/31/10 11:17 AM
User is offline

Going a little crazy from my constant cycling. I've been spending the last few weeks first restricting for a week or two, then eating a lot (I don't think it would be called binging, it's just really uncomfortable for me since I'm used to eating very little) and purging.
And the STUPID scale refuses to humor me! I guess I should just be learning that all this is not worth it.... And I do know that logically, but I'm just so stuck in this whirlpool of I don't know what, that I have to continue on.

Hugs, I totally empathize with you. And if you're bad because of it, then so am I - so that makes two of us. No, seriously, I know there is no humor in this - but no one is bad because of disordered eating habits (or worse). It is sad, not bad. (And now I sound like Dr. Seuss.)


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

1/31/10 11:18 AM
User is offline



-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.

Edited: 1/31/10 at 11:25 AM by downandout
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/1/10 12:54 PM
User is offline

Feeling really low. My nutritionist just cancelled our session for today, and I really needed it badly.
I'm sitting here crying like a pathetic little baby - for something so inconsequential.
Is anybody out there? Does anybody care?
I can't take this. I feel like I'm just going to be trapped in this forever - and nobody, nobody, nobody understands. Nobody is there for me when I need them, nobody cares.
I feel so alone.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

2/1/10 3:44 PM
User is offline

Here are some (((((((((HUGS)))))))))
I totally know the feeling of no one understands, no one cares and feeling so alone. (If you've seen my post in the depression forum I feel the same way) All I can say is that I really care and really understand your pain. I wish I could do something to help ease your pain. Hope things get better quick. And here's another set of ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

2/1/10 3:46 PM
User is offline

Here are some (((((((((HUGS)))))))))
I totally know the feeling of no one understands, no one cares and feeling so alone. (If you've seen my post in the depression forum I feel the same way) All I can say is that I really care and really understand your pain. I wish I could do something to help ease your pain. Hope things get better quick. And here's another set of ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/1/10 11:25 PM
User is offline

Thanks, toy...


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/4/10 10:28 PM
User is offline

I'm going IP next week. I'm terrified.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

2/4/10 10:49 PM
User is offline

Good luck. Iy"h it'll work out for the best.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Aba
Senior Supporter

Posts: 546
Joined: Jul 2008

2/7/10 4:33 PM
User is offline View users profile

Good luck
I'm sure with your motivation you will accomplish a lot.
Kol Tov


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



mouse
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1931
Joined: Oct 2007

2/8/10 3:09 PM
User is offline View users profile

I hope it isn't too late to wish you my best. You don't need luck. You need determination. And you have lots of it....and strong will. Keep going.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/8/10 5:13 PM
User is offline

Thank you so much, all of you.
And munkster - I really appreciate that. It means a lot to me to have people backing me up and reminding me of my self worth.

So far I haven't gone - I'm not sure when a bed is going to be available, so for now I guess I just have to wait and be a bundle of nerves at the same time...


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

2/10/10 12:45 PM
User is offline

hey, havent been here for a while......well thats not 100% true, bc ive been reading just not posting.

yuch, having to wait must be horrible.
U cant do anything bc ure waiting.I really hope they get you a bed soon. Which place r u going to in the end? (only if u want to say of course)
You are SO brave for going. I really admire your courage.
I need to go in patient too, but i cant get myself to do it.
So in the meantime, i suffer, kids suffer, hsbnd suffers. And all i can think about is death- and how warm and comforting that may be.

So i wish u all the best- be proud of yourself for fighting!! Hashem is for sure proud of u, for overcoming what He has laid out for u.

take care,
debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/10/10 5:51 PM
User is offline

Debbi, thanks so much for your motivating words.

Yeah, waiting really sucks.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time now. I read your other post, and it seems like you have it really tough now... I hope you manage to do what you need to do to get yourself out of your suffering. It's really hard though - I know. It takes so much energy to try to move forward, willpower and courage that are hard to feel you have.
Good luck!

Oh - I'm going to Princeton.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.

Edited: 2/10/10 at 6:29 PM by downandout
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



killedlastyear
Senior Supporter

Posts: 628
Joined: Apr 2006

2/10/10 10:40 PM
User is offline

That's great to here! Like I said before, I've read great reviews about Princeton's program. Do you have any idea how long the wait will be?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/10/10 11:03 PM
User is offline

Supposedly there should be a bed open sometime next week. I hope, hope, hope it's not longer than that.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



killedlastyear
Senior Supporter

Posts: 628
Joined: Apr 2006

2/11/10 10:34 PM
User is offline

yay that's great. i hope so too! How long are you expecting/hoping to go for do you know?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/11/10 11:09 PM
User is offline

The typical stay is somewhere between two to four weeks. I have no idea how long I'll be there for... I guess it depends how well I do.

Help!!!!!!!!! I'm so scared.

I'm scared of eating. Scared of having to eat and then not being able to purge. I'm eating almost nothing now - I'm absolutely terrified of having to face food numerous times a day, and having to put it into my mouth without the option of purging. It's crazy. Why am I going?


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/14/10 9:43 PM
User is offline

I hate this! Hate this, hate this, hate this!

Why? Why do I have to starve myself? Why do I have to purge if I do eat? Why do I care so much? Why do I hate food?

But I can't do it differently. I don't know how; I'm too scared.

Spent an awful lot of tonight just crying and crying. This feels like it'll go on forever and ever. How will I ever get out of it? I want my life back. I want to be me. I want to be a person who can truly give, not just be on the receiving end of everyone's help/pity. I want to be able to see myself for who I am (in more than one sense).

I so badly need someone to be with me - someone who totally understands....


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

2/14/10 9:54 PM
User is offline

((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

Sorry that your going through such a difficult time. It must be really hard. Just know that I feel and understand you and hope that things will get better very soon.

Here are some more (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) (wish I could give you a real one but I guess a virtual one will have to do for now)


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.

Edited: 2/14/10 at 9:55 PM by toy123
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/15/10 5:17 PM
User is offline

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

They don't have a bed available for me until NEXT Tuesday. I've been going nuts already for the past week; I'm a bundle of nerves - I am so scared about this, so I just want it to happen already. I can't handle the anxiety. This is so frustrating.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

2/17/10 9:17 PM
User is offline

Downandout how's the wait going?

I hope it's not too anxiety producing.......


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



killedlastyear
Senior Supporter

Posts: 628
Joined: Apr 2006

2/17/10 9:31 PM
User is offline

I know the waiting IS horrible!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/17/10 9:58 PM
User is offline

I am so tense and anxious from the waiting... It is really getting to me.

Besides that, I'm under 24/7 supervision by my husband. My doctor and therapist feel that I am unsafe, so it's either that or go to the psychiatric unit until Tuesday. (Not that I am suicidal or anything, just because of my really bad restricting and purging.) So I'm going somewhat nuts - it's all really stressful and I guess I'm really feeling stuck in a rut that I just can't get myself out of.

That's basically where I'm at now. I hope inpatient will help me, because at this point I feel totally beyond help.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

2/22/10 5:27 PM
User is offline

Downandout,
Good luck to you for tommorrow and for the whole time your gonna be inpatient.
Iy"h you'll do great and it'll help you.
You CAN do it!!!!!!


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/22/10 6:05 PM
User is offline

Thanks so much toy. I am really nervous... so I appreciate your support.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



killedlastyear
Senior Supporter

Posts: 628
Joined: Apr 2006

2/23/10 12:02 AM
User is offline

wishin you the best of luck!!!!!!!!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Aba
Senior Supporter

Posts: 546
Joined: Jul 2008

2/24/10 5:22 PM
User is offline View users profile

I guess I'm a bit late but good luck and Kol Tuv.


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

2/27/10 7:11 PM
User is offline

So, I've been here a few days. It's a really good place, but I'm still having a hard time getting used to everything and feeling comfortable with my trying to recover. The staff is really good, and I'm getting a lot of support from other patients here.
The kosher deal isn't that great - I have to basically bring in a lot of my own dinner stuff, and then they calculate the portions of starches, proteins, fats, etc. that it's worth. I'm kind of jealous of the others that they can get this really good-looking, fresh stuff. It would probably make eating a lot easier. Oh, well. I guess I'm dealing.
I feel like I've been here a really long time, but in reality it's only been four days. I hope I get more used to it soon, and feel better about having to get better. I know I have to - and that's why I'm here - but it's really hard to put that knowledge into actual desire. But I'm really going to do it, and I feel like I'm in a place that's really going to help me do it.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



channafofanna
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1351
Joined: Jul 2009

2/28/10 7:35 PM
User is offline View users profile

good for you! im so happy!!!!!!!!!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Leah Anderson
Supporter

Posts: 27
Joined: Nov 2008

3/1/10 12:48 PM
User is offline

Good for you down and out! I hope you will learn how to deal with your eating disorder, may G-d give you the strength you need and hopefully you will be home soon with new tools on how to cope and live! I wish you lots of luck! Keep working, keep trying!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

3/14/10 3:23 PM
User is offline

downandout how are things going inpatient?

Hope things are okay.

Let us know if you can.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

3/15/10 3:21 PM
User is offline

Things are going really well, for the most part. My motivation is pretty good - more up than down - so I'm glad of that. I've been going out on day passes - home, out with my husband, out to restaurants, etc. - and those have been working out well, so I'm starting to feel more and more ready to move on. I think I'll be discharged in a week from now probably. I'm really nervous - because it's safe in here, I'm okay and doing well, but I don't have too many memories of doing well at home, so...
Either way, though, I am doing good here, and really liking my time here, even though it is a constant struggle.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Aba
Senior Supporter

Posts: 546
Joined: Jul 2008

3/18/10 12:12 PM
User is offline View users profile



-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



killedlastyear
Senior Supporter

Posts: 628
Joined: Apr 2006

3/21/10 9:50 PM
User is offline

that's great to hear
it's so weird to think about going back to the same old environment afterward isn't it?
does this mean you'll be home for pesach? how do you think that will be?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

3/22/10 7:59 AM
User is offline

I'm leaving today. It is really weird and nervewracking to be going back home.
I'm actually going to my in-laws for Pesach. I'm not sure if that makes things harder or easier - either way, I am more than scared. But I've spent a lot of time planning for the holiday and talking about all sorts of discharge plans, so I'm not going unequipped.
I am coming back here for partial hospitalization after Pesach, though, so that makes things easier. Its just having the knowledge that I'll still have the support I'll need afterwards that makes me more hopeful.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



channafofanna
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1351
Joined: Jul 2009

3/22/10 10:55 AM
User is offline View users profile

do your in laws know where youve been? will that make it easier or harder on you?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

3/22/10 1:28 PM
User is offline

My in-laws do not know where I've been. It makes it both easier and harder. It's easier because they won't be watching me at all the meals, seeing what I'm eating and not eating... On the other hand, it'll be harder, because my mother in law won't be able to help me out with meal planning. So I guess it has its advantages and disadvantages.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



channafofanna
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1351
Joined: Jul 2009

3/23/10 11:24 AM
User is offline View users profile

can you maybe tell her your on a diet and need help planning? or offer to make a menu for her (that works for you) or if you kasher your kitchen, then you can make some of your "safe" foods (or offer to help, and then cook things for yourself ),bring "safe" recipies so she'll try it , most importantly talk to your nutrisionist or T about it!
but i kinda know how you feel (pesach is like the worst time for all of us- sitting at the table till 3 in the mornign eating!!!! its nuts- all we do as jews is eat sleep and daven (but i usualy have no issue with the sleeping part...)
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



downandout
Senior Supporter

Posts: 511
Joined: Sep 2008

4/17/10 10:31 PM
User is offline

I've just noticed that we're more than half-way back to Rosh Hashana again, and I'm still writing in this thread, but hey, this seems to be "my" thread, so I'll just continue it!

Pesach was pretty much okay. It was hard, coming straight out of inpatient into Pesach, but I did manage fairly well - maybe even very well. Now I've been in PHP (partial hospitalization program) for a week, and it's working out pretty well. I'm really hoping that this whole hospital thing - inpatient as well as outpatient - will bring my ED to an end.
It's on days like today, though, that I get quite discouraged. I really did not do well today as far as recovery is concerned. It makes me think things like "maybe I'm just heading into full-blown relapse", "maybe I need to stay in a hospital my whole life in order to not have an ED", etc. And I know it's irrational - we all have our better days and worse days - but still, it worries me.

And the weight piece and body image is still killing me. I can't stop obsessing about it - even while I'm eating right and not using behaviours, I'm still constantly thinking about the weight, wondering how much I weigh (I don't have a scale anymore), and thinking about stopping to eat again in order to lose more weight.

So all these things just kind of frustrate me, make me feel like I'll never fully get over this.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



killedlastyear
Senior Supporter

Posts: 628
Joined: Apr 2006

4/18/10 10:10 AM
User is offline

yeah that must have been insane transferring right into pesach! it's so true that some days are better than others. hey, even some parts of some days can be great and then later that day things turn worse. at least for me that is. you should look through my journal- it's like i'm schizophrenic sometimes with my emotions and how well i'm doing.

i'm also dealing with the weight as you know. they keep telling me it's the last piece to go.....
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

Pages: [ << 1 2 3 4 >> Previous Next ]
View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Eating Disorder < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.