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TOPIC TITLE: Happy
Created On 11/7/10 8:29 PM
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hugs
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Posts: 411
Joined: Nov 2009

11/7/10 8:29 PM
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Hi everyone!
I am really confused with myself. I've recently started starving myself again (with some purging episodes). I cannot be diagnosed with being anorexic because my weight is ok but I probably have an ednos (eating disorder not otherwise specified). Here's the weird thing- I am soooo happy. I feel so much happier than I've felt in a long time. I feel strong and in control (finally!) and just happy.
Is it normal? I do have the usual emotions of feeling mixed up sometimes, like should I continue this way etc and I do get scared sometimes but overall I feel amazing. I feel nuts for feeling so good right now. I should be happy for feeling this way and just say b''H with a smile on my face but being happy about this is making me nervous. Someone please tell me you've felt the same way please?!
 
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downandout
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11/7/10 9:11 PM
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Hey...
A couple of things:
First of all, have you gone to someone for a diagnosis? That would probably be helpful.

Second, I know that happy feeling. It's always there to begin with... But it doesn't last. Restricting - to a starvation degree especially - can give you a high, and make you feel powerful and good and happy. But eventually, reality sets in - physical problems, brain starvation = mood problems = depression, irritability, stress, etc. The happiness doesn't last. At all. It wears off pretty fast, and you're left feeling an empty shell of a person, having to keep up that facade of happiness because you've told everyone that really you're okay and you're happy and fine.... When by this point in time you're not.

So yes, I can totally identify with that happy feeling. You're not crazy. You're very normal. But just be aware that it won't last. It's not worth going down that road... again.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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Aba
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11/8/10 10:58 AM
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I would second what d&o said.

Kol Tuv.


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"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden

Edited: 11/8/10 at 10:58 AM by Aba
 
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hugs
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11/9/10 9:53 AM
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Thanks D&O and Aba for answering. I know reality probably will set in sometime probably but I'm gonna hold on to that hope of things staying ok and my mood staying stable. I've been stable for about 2 months now, I can't imagine it changing anytime soon.
It's more than happy though, I feel fulfilled. I can't explain the feeling. Maybe it's just that I'm on a high or something. I hope I stay this way!!
 
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