Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: Similar issues
Created On 1/18/09 1:53 PM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/18/09 1:53 PM
User is offline

I feel a little like I'm talking to the choir here, and I have to say, I already derived chizuk from a lot of what has been posted in this mental health forum.

I have been agoraphobic for probably over a year and a half - scared to leave my parent's house, afraid that anyone should see that I am not in yeshiva anymore (mind you, I am 26).

I took a couple of temp jobs over the past seven months, but the work was so monotonous that I just had to quit.

I used to just feel incredibly sad for myself, but these days I pretty much also feel disassociated from myself a lot of the time - this causes me to *greatly* question my sanity.

I tried doctors and therapists (just started a new med, we'll see how that goes), but I have more or less given up on them.

Over this long period of hermitage, I spent some time (in a few respects) 'off the derech' (out of anyone's view). Recently, I have renounced my atheistic/secular humanistic leanings, and have become reasonably convinced that any ultimate life purpose comes through establishing a connection with G-d. I am still frightened - absolutely scared out of my mind - by being in the presence of people in my parent's neighborhood. For this reason, I rarely go to shul, and when I do, I walk to a different neighborhood where people don't know me.

Anyway, I aim to add more body to this post, as I have left a lot out that might be appropriate to express, but for now - I will leave it here.


-------------------------
Kudos2rents

Edited: 1/18/09 at 1:58 PM by kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/18/09 7:49 PM
User is offline

Sorry for what you're going through. Hope it gets better.

Re work: Maybe you can try different things, or maybe there are programs which can assess what skill you would be good in. You can ask yourself what you might like. Watch repairs, bookeeping, tutoring, etc. People have different talents, and are suited for different things.

Once you find something that you like, you can tell yourself that it's very respectable to work to make a living, and there is no law anywhere that you have to finish a certain amount of time in Yeshiva. And if some people have a problem with this, it's really their problem.

The fact that you walk to a different shul shows that you are not completely scared to go out. And who says you have to go to the shul in your neighborhood. Jews are always going to different shuls, because they are more comfortable in one shul than another.

(There is the classic joke about a town which had only one Jew, and two shuls. Someone asked him why he needs two shuls. He answered, "There's one shul which I go to, and one shul where I don't go.")

It's easy to give advice, and I don't really know what you are going through. But I hope that you will soon be on the upswing, and that we hear good news from you.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/19/09 11:47 AM
User is offline

Thanks for the response, Gad; it was nice to see such a quick response on this forum (actually I have never really posted anything on any forum before). When you noted "I don't really know what you are going through" I felt the bittersweet feeling of alienation mixed with a sense of trust engendered by your perfect honesty, which all in all is cool - seriously. Being that you don't know too much about what I am going through (at least not yet), it probably goes without saying that some of what you suggested were spot on, while others were, well, you know .
Thanks again for the support Gad!


-------------------------
Kudos2rents

Edited: 1/19/09 at 6:06 PM by kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/19/09 4:56 PM
User is offline

Thanks for the thank you.

Perhaps it may alleviate some of the alienation if I say that, although I don't really know what you are going through, I think I can understand it to a certain degree. And I think I can feel, to a certain extent, some of your fear.

It would be interesting to know (if and when you want to write about it) which points hit the mark, and which didn't.

Again thank your for informing me that my post helped somewhat. Hope to hear good news.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/19/09 6:05 PM
User is offline



-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/19/09 6:11 PM
User is offline

Hi Gad,

Well, I re-read your reply, and I have to say that it was all pretty much spot on; I think that when you pointed out that you can't 'get in my head' - I think at that point that I must have subconsciously felt that everything you had said was not necessarily applicable to me because you don't 'know' me. Re: some of the things you originally mentioned: I don't really seem to be talented in any specific area - the one thing I enjoy doing is writing, and that's a tough area to make a living.

All the best!


-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/19/09 7:43 PM
User is offline

Writing what? Novels? Ideas?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/19/09 7:53 PM
User is offline

Quote

Originally posted by: kudos2rents
I don't really seem to be talented in any specific area -

Perhaps we can distinguish between "talented" and "like."
Perhaps you can think of certain kinds of work which, although you may not be talented in those fields, nevetheless you may like them enough to be able to work in those fields on a steady basis.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/20/09 9:57 AM
User is offline

I 'like' to write; be it in the form of articles or short stories; writing does not seem to be much of a money maker though.


-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/20/09 11:11 AM
User is offline

Maybe you can continue to write. If it brings in money, that's good. And if not, it is still a good way to express yourself, and to think about new ideas.

As for parnoso, you can ask yourself if you prefer office work, or manual labor. Once you have narrowed that down, you can try different jobs on a trial basis, to see if you like it.

Perhaps you can take a course in something you might be interested in. The places which offer courses probably have counselors who can give advice as to what courses may be good for you.


Edited: 1/20/09 at 11:13 AM by gad
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/20/09 11:42 AM
User is offline



-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/20/09 11:45 AM
User is offline

The things that I am interested in are all intellectual/philosophical/kind of 'flighty' in nature. This may be in part due to over a decade spent learning Talmud. I am not very good at manual labor, and the general interests that I listed in the first sentence do not really lead to any comfortable parnoso (I have very little interest in law school).


-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/20/09 12:12 PM
User is offline

Then you may be good at something which requires creative thinking for the purpose of organizing or solving things.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/20/09 1:07 PM
User is offline

I'm not sure what that would be. I'm currently (I change my mind by the minute) looking into computer programming, but there are way too many choices: PHP/SQL/C ++; I have no idea which track to take, i.e. which one has the best compensation.


-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/20/09 4:17 PM
User is offline

Maybe you can ask a friend who is in that field.

Alternatively, you can perhaps sample each to see which one you would like more. Maybe you can search on google to see what they are like, and what people say about them.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/21/09 2:31 PM
User is offline

I'm just so lazy due to being depressed.

Is it possible for one to develop dementia from spending long periods doing nothing?


-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/21/09 6:14 PM
User is offline

One way to deal with depression is to volunteer helping others. Maybe this could work for you.

I'm not an expert, but I think that depression can make one forget things. But I think that once a person gets back on track, then he remembers things again.


Edited: 1/21/09 at 6:15 PM by gad
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/21/09 6:52 PM
User is offline

I volunteered for a while at a local nursing home; as you might understand, after a while, this itself got depressing.


-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/22/09 1:43 AM
User is offline

Yes, that can get depressing.

But there are other kinds of volunteering. Maybe working with kids. Maybe helping an organization with their paperwork or computer work.
Maybe if you called Ohel or some other organization and asked them if they need help with something.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



kudos2rents
Supporter

Posts: 26
Joined: Jan 2009

1/22/09 8:32 AM
User is offline

just too shy right now


-------------------------
Kudos2rents
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/22/09 10:58 AM
User is offline

I think that everyone is somewhat shy before they volunteer. But once they get involved, it often seems like second nature.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

1/22/09 11:00 AM
User is offline

I guess it's like swimming. If you just dip your toe in, it feels cold. But once you force yourself to jump in, you adjust to the water temperature, and it's invigorating.

Not to mention the satisfaction in helping others.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Mood Disorder < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.