Joined: Jan 2010
1/20/10 10:23 AM
HI! I FOUND THIS THING ON TRICHISLAND.COM. I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY FUNNY. I'VE ALWAYS LOVED DR.SUESS' GREEN EGGS AND HAM AND THIS IS IT, JUST WITH A TRICH TWIST.
Once upon a dreary day
With nothing to do and nothing to say
Nothing to watch and nothing to eat
I sit and stare at my propped-up feet.
I do not want to watch T.V.
I do not want to climb a tree
I do not want green eggs and ham
How blatheringly, blitheringly bored I am!
Then suddenly came a knock, knock, knock
Which forced me towards the door to walk
And open it up to the startling sight
Of a Cat in a Hat striped red and white.
He bounded in, flopped down in my chair
As if he quite belonged there
And asked with a wondering, credulous air,
"If you're so bored, why not pull out your hair?"
I know not from whence he came, or why
But I thought that that I ought to make some reply.
"Why," I said "would I want to do that?"
"Because you can," said the clever Cat.
"It passes the time when you're all alone
Gives your hands a task when you're on the phone
Calms you when you're feeling stressed
You just need to be de-tressed
You can pull while riding in your car
Pull in places near and far
Pull in Springfield or Siam
Or while you eat green eggs and ham."
"And most of all, what this game is about -
You've just GOT to get the bad ones out."
"Look, you've got one over here,
That's sticking up all crooked and queer."
The feline said, "It really must go."
And he yanked it right out before I could say no.
He held it up to the light for me to see
Proud of himself as he could be
Didn't hurt as much as I thought it would
As a matter of fact, it kind of felt...good.
"Here's another," he pointed, "All frizzy and fried,
And this eyebrow hair sticks way out to the side
And this eyelash is not quite in line with the rest
To pull them out now would really be best."
I yanked, pulled, plucked, and those hairs were soon gone
But we quickly found more, and so we kept on
I didn't know that two hours had passed
Till I looked in the mirror and froze there, aghast.
My eyebrows were now all patchy and bare
My lashes - maybe twelve were still there
And on top of my head, a three-inch spot
Where once there was hair, but now there was not.
In horror and anguish I let out a shriek,
"I look like a circus sideshow freak!
To grow back will take it six months and a day!"
The Cat just replied, "At the least, I should say."
He pulled out from his hat, some paint for my eyes,
For my brows, "This pencil will help you disguise."
"But my hair is a fright," I said, "What about that?!?"
He pondered and puzzled, " - Of course!" said the Cat.
He reached up and taking the hat from his head
Placed it squarely on top of my own instead.
Allaying concern for his now-hatless dome,
"No need for thanks, I have twelve more at home."
"Well, I really must go, but wasn't this fun?
Now make sure you pull out every last little one!"
With a wink and a wave he turned towards the door
"Cat!" I called out, "Why'd you do this? What for?"
Befuddled, he turned, "Why, it's simple my dear.
Just think of your boredom before I was here.
Where once was ennui, now there's self-loathing
Hiding your bald spots with makeup and clothing
Trying to swim and not get your hair wet
Thinking up lies for the questions you'll get
You should not look at this habit all wrong
You now have a fine hobby to last your life long."
In a blink he was gone as quick as he came
Leaving me trapped in this fixating game
Pulling and fighting and pulling some more
My hair and my pride left all over the floor.
So if someday you say to yourself, "What a bore."
And that Cat in the Hat should show up at your door
Take my advice and heed what I've said
Shut the door in his face - take up ping-pong instead.
Joined: Jan 2010
1/20/10 12:24 PM
Shabbos and Trichotillomania- You’re under Arrest!
Pulling my hair feels awful, out of control. Like I’m riding on a bike downhill and I’m missing the brakes. You want stop, but you can’t.
Nothing makes me feel worse than pulling on Shabbos. There’s so much self-hatred and loathing; feeling like the worst mechalel Shabbos. I’m always thinking how many times I’m chayev meesa. Probably a thousand times. Pulling is forbidden. And I can’t stop. I just can’t.
I can easily say that for me, Shabbos is my worst trigger day. Shabbos is beautiful, but stressful too. Our meals don’t exactly look like the ones in Artscroll books; there will always be something that will upset me and give me feelings which I would much rather avoid -and it’s inevitable that an impulse(or two or three or 100) will soon be on its way. Since Friday night is the day I read the most (think the whole deal- Mishpacha, Binah, Hamodia), I have the most unconscious pulling. Sometimes while I’m engrossed in an article subconsciously I realize that my hand is in my hair and I want to stop but I can’t because I’m in this ridiculous trance where I have absolutely no control.
And its even worse that I’m locked into the bathroom reading (because Tatty is King of the couch and there’s no place for me.) So the bathroom makes a great living room, where no-one will interrupt my pulling.
I was handcuffed this Shabbos. It felt weird wearing my brother’s pair of handcuffs and my family thought I was nuts. I sure was a sight to behold. Nice Jewish girl arrested on account of….? It was a nice diversion from wearing scratchy wool gloves.
I can’t say it was particularly comfortable, but I wore it all through reading (unlike the gloves which I tend to slip off when the urge gets too strong.) The only time I pulled was when I took the handcuffs off to wash my hand and I found three hairs on the counter.
It was disappointing that I did pull, but a long way from last week’s 25. Hopefully I’ll be more on the alert next Shabbos when I’m taking off the cuffs.
Joined: Oct 2009
1/21/10 2:55 AM
Francine, Thank you so much for sharing that poem from Dr. Suess with us. I think its great that you appreciate humor even within a very challenging situation. I enjoyed reading it.
Re Trich, I don't remember where I read this, but I know somebody posted something somewhere on this website, about a technique that they used to develop an alternative behavior to hair pulling: pulling the 'hair' on a toy keychain.
I just wanted to say that I always have a squeezy toy available to play with and it really helps me refrain from twisting my hair (I don't pull out my hair, just play with it- twisting it lightly, except when I'm feeling upset or in pain at which time I am not as gentle with it, and often end up almost tying knots in it). Squeezing a stress ball or twisting drawstrings helps keep my hand busy while I am writing or working at the computer (that is when I used to twist my hair absentmindedly). It also gives me something on which to let out my intense feelings when I am feeling anxious/angry/frustrated or in pain. When feeling intense, I often make holes in my stress balls or pull the rubbery strings or hairs out of the top of them, basicaly destroying them. I never really considered my hair twisting an OCD behavior, though its possible that it is; my Dr said that what I have is on the spectrum of habit disorders. I'm thankful that I never actually damaged my hair because of it. And it is basicaly under control.
I can relate to feeling frustratedand helpless and self loathing on shabbosim when I knew that I was probably pulling out a few stray hairs (that happens even when just playing with/twisting hair). I can't completely understand your feelings, though, because my hair twisting was never really bad. But I wish I could tell you something that would help you feel better about yourself, since what you are doing is not in your control right now, even if there are alternative behaviors that can be learned. I hope you can find a teacher/rav/therapist who can help you deal with your feelings about being 'mechalel shabbos'. There are also some people on this site who may have some insight about trich and shabbos.
And please remember that there are medications and other treatments that can help alot, and talking to a therapist is the first step. Is there any way for you to talk to someone who can help you talk to your parents or who can talk to your parents for you, about getting treatment for your trich?
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