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TOPIC TITLE: Tehillim list
Created On 10/29/07 5:32 PM
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mouse
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10/29/07 5:32 PM
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My rabbi found out what is going on with me in a really really vague manner. I think he put me on the tehillim list in shul (he asked for my mom's name). Should I ask him to yank it? I'm really uncomfortable since my name isn't so common (even though it isn't said alloud in shul) and I don't think my probs warrant being on tehillim list. He also calls me each week to see if I'm ok. I appreciate the fact he cares, but feel really uncomfortable with him caring for some reason. Is there a tactful way to say, "back off"? Any ideas? Am I wrong on these issues?


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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su7kids
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10/29/07 6:52 PM
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Tehillim can't hurt.

Allow someone to care about you.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!

Edited: 10/29/07 at 6:53 PM by su7kids
 
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HopefulMommy
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10/29/07 8:44 PM
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Wow, I am actually very impressed that your rabbi is so caring. Why are uncomfortable with it? Is it because you feel you're not worth it?
 
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gad
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10/29/07 10:14 PM
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Originally posted by: munkster
My rabbi found out what is going on with me in a really really vague manner. I think he put me on the tehillim list in shul (he asked for my mom's name). Should I ask him to yank it? I'm really uncomfortable since my name isn't so common (even though it isn't said alloud in shul) and I don't think my probs warrant being on tehillim list. He also calls me each week to see if I'm ok. I appreciate the fact he cares, but feel really uncomfortable with him caring for some reason. Is there a tactful way to say, "back off"? Any ideas? Am I wrong on these issues?



I understand your uncomfortableness.

I would tell him, "I appreciate your intention, but please take my name off the tehillim list because I feel that it focuses unwelcome attention. But Rabbi, I would appreciate it very much if you said the tehilim."

"And Rabbi please don't call me right now, as I feel that I need alot of rest and peace of mind now. But again thank you so much for thinking of me, I really appreciate that you did think of me."



Edited: 10/29/07 at 10:19 PM by gad
 
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mouse
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10/30/07 5:04 AM
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Have any of you noticed that there is not a single name on the tehillim list on the Mental Health section? I think it is because although our situation is life-threatening at times, it is because we make it that way. No reason to daven for someone like that. I don't want tehillim said at all -- not even in private. It just makes me feel "icky." So maybe I will try to say what gad was saying but delete the part about in private you can daven.

I know my rabbi cares since he checks on me at least once a week, but it just is strange to me. I also know I'm lucky because a lot of people would die to have someone who cares like that. The only consolation was he pulled through recently when I needed a heter not to do something that normally is necessary (like kibbud em.) But in the end, guilt feelings overrode his decision and I went ahead and did what needed to be done anyway and I came out feeling stupid for not having gone with his heter. Oh well.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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10/30/07 11:05 AM
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Quote

Originally posted by: munkster
Have any of you noticed that there is not a single name on the tehillim list on the Mental Health section? I think it is because although our situation is life-threatening at times, it is because we make it that way. No reason to daven for someone like that.


What do you mean, "someone like that"??? You are just as special and precious to Hashem as anyone else in the world. You are not just "someone like that." You matter!!!

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I know my rabbi cares since he checks on me at least once a week, but it just is strange to me. I also know I'm lucky because a lot of people would die to have someone who cares like that.


Yes, I was almost jealous when I read your post. And you probably thought you had nothing to be jealous of .


I've asked people to daven for me. If I'll ever get pregnant again, G-d willing, I'll make sure to get some special people to daven for me.
 
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bubbs96
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10/30/07 11:09 AM
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If someone is sick, in pain, or suffering, what is wrong with asking Hashem to alleviate that pain, to heal that sickness, to lessen that suffering? Mental illness is just that--it is an illness. It is not a choice. Yes, our diseases manifest themselves in behaviors, not in tumors or blood levels or something so obviously beyond anyone's control but G-d's. Yet I truly believe that we would not be acting on these behaviors--be they self-harm, eating disorders, alcoholism, or other addictions or depressive symtpoms--if we felt there was any other way to survive.

Believe me, I understand the shame and guilt associated. I understand being in such a dark place that you don't know if you even WANT to stop the behaviors or to get better. I understand not feeling worthy of anyone else's prayers or cares. But these feelings, too, are symptoms. They are not fact. Self-blame won't get you anywhere but further into the depression and destruction. Trust me. I'm an expert at beating myself up for struggling.

As for the tehillim list on this site---i don't think that's a good measuring stick. Take a good look....there really aren't any names in any categories. It's just not something that seems to be being utilized (and I think they time them out after a month, anyway....). I've thought about putting my name on the list many times, honestly, but didn't want to seem "selfish" when no one else was using it. I don't go asking people to daven for me, but when people who know about my struggles have asked for my hebrew name (especially when i'm hospitalized), i gladly give it to them. I say tehillim for myself, especially when i'm having a hard time. I need all the help i can get--from doctors, therapists, medications, and G-d too. Some days I ask to give me a refuah shleimah....other days, I'll be honest, I am too stuck in my disorder and can only ask that He give me the strength to WANT to get better.

As for your rabbi....you have a right to your privacy, so it's ultimately your decision. Based on my own personal experience, tho, of "scaring off" several rabbis with my complicated life, perhaps you can just tell him that it's hard for you to talk about what's going on right now, but you appreciate his concern and will "keep him in mind" for when/if you're ready.....that way you're not promising anything, but you're not burning the bridge in case you need something from him in the future. Just a thought.


-------------------------
"Recovery is a process, not an event."
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
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su7kids
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10/30/07 1:00 PM
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One of the hardest things about mental illness is that its not usually visible to the outside world. If you had a broken leg and were on crutches, the attitudes would be different.

However, you deserve mental HEALTH and deserve to be DAVENED for for the return of that HEALTH or at least for coping skills to be "given" to you.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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mouse
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11/4/07 11:26 AM
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I feel so relieved. My rabbi didn't call me yet this wk. and it is now Sunday (last wk. he called erev shabbos). Maybe he knows I'll call him if I need him since I did call him about a family issue last week. I hope so because for whatever reason I get icky about people caring. As for tehillim list, I decided not to bring issue up with rabbi. maybe i will ask hubby if he can take a peek at list and see if my name is on it. not sure. i feel funny saying don't daven for me but i feel funny keeping it the way it is right now.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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11/4/07 11:27 AM
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BTW, if ppl really think we should say tehillim, we should be using the tehillim list.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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seb613
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11/5/07 2:31 PM
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I personally would like if someone would say Tehillim for me. It's hard for me to come close to Hashem and ask for help for all my problems. I would also to say Tehillim for others in our Mental Health section.
 
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gad
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11/13/07 6:38 PM
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If saying tehilim for yourself is difficult, what about putting a few pennies in the charity box? It's a big mitzva; and by helping others, you increase the merit that G-d may help you.
 
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mouse
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11/14/07 4:47 AM
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gad, i know this is gonna sound cynical, but don't make giving tzedaka hard too...i just get the willies knowing Someone up there is looking down on me and deciding my fate. i dunno for some reason the religion/depession thing just gets me all icky.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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11/14/07 2:51 PM
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munkster, that's because you feel that that Someone up there doesn't like you and is about to get you. What if you think that Someone up there loves you and protects you?

It's not easy. I'm working on it myself. But you have to begin with loving yourself.
 
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gad
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11/15/07 12:46 AM
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Originally posted by: munkster
gad, i know this is gonna sound cynical, but don't make giving tzedaka hard too...i just get the willies knowing Someone up there is looking down on me and deciding my fate. i dunno for some reason the religion/depession thing just gets me all icky.


Sorry, you're right. No guilt. Just maybe to give Tzedoko because it's a Mitzvoh. And it's a nice thing to do. Will that be easier to digest?
 
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mouse
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11/15/07 4:29 AM
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for some really odd reason, yeah, it really is easier to digest giving tzedakah for the sake of giving, rather than in the hopes of getting better.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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