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TOPIC TITLE: shidduchim
Created On 12/15/08 4:34 AM
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besuros toivos
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Posts: 28
Joined: Nov 2008

12/15/08 4:34 AM
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ive had therapy treatment in the past.

im really wanting to get onto the shidduchim scene now and wondering if any one can offer any help. im completly ok just had to sort out some issues.

if you can help please email back it would be such a help. im 25 and anyone knows someone round this age a nice frum boy it would be a great help.

many thanks


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a firm believer
 
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mouse
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Posts: 1931
Joined: Oct 2007

12/16/08 3:45 AM
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Just because you were in therapy doesn't make you "damaged goods." Speak to a Rabbi about how much to disclose about your situation and when to disclose. I was told I didn't have to reveal quite a bit (I had to reveal some) until things became very very serious. I'm married eight yrs (happily for the most part) and still haven't told my husband everything and I don't think he needs to know everything. He finds out as it is applicable, which is rare at this point. I'm not sure if I'm a typical case (I probably am not and am definitely not advising you withhold info. from a spouse or future spousehowever, you need to find out what to say and when. It can make a big difference. Going into a shidduch where the person knows you were in therapy is too open I think. It should probably wait until things are serious and some level of trust and respect has been established. I'm hoping someone else weighs their opinion/feelings towards this issue on here as I think it's important to be addressed.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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besuros toivos
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12/16/08 4:41 AM
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thanks for a good peice of advice i wish i had crossed that border of getting into dating.

but many thanks for your reply and i hope people add their comments too.


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su7kids
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12/16/08 9:45 AM
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are you asking on here if someone knows of someone for you, or if you should go ahead and go through your "regular channels" and have someone help you? Is there a shadchan you can speak to, or a Rav in your community who can help you find someone? Do you know how to go about starting to look, where to look, to make lists etc?

Just for the record, I believe EVERYONE has "a few issues" so it shouldn't be a problem.


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Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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besuros toivos
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12/17/08 3:56 AM
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thank you yet i feel if you have been thru some mental health u realise you have problems. most people think they are perfect which gets me so down cause i think im the only mad one. i hope i have help along the lines of finding a kind hearted boy.

thanks again


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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
Psychologist

Posts: 914
Joined: Feb 2005

12/24/08 10:34 PM
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The irony I repeatedly find is that the people who come for therapy are actually HEALTHIER than the ones who don't. At least the people who come are taking responsibility for their issues and taking active steps that address them.
a lynn
 
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besuros toivos
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12/27/08 5:56 PM
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thanks alot for your response i feel now much more at ease although its difficult with me for shidduchim. do u have a practice too.

many thanks for your encouragement words of wisdom


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