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TOPIC TITLE: lack of daas torah cause for mental/personality disorders?
Created On 12/15/08 5:56 PM
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justso
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12/15/08 5:56 PM
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I read the following on someone site. It is presenting the teachings of R. Wolbe, ztl. and it was very revealing, yet disconcerting for me as I am getting treatment. I feel like my problems indicate I'm not a good Jews. Now intellectually, i know this is not about self worth. eg, one can also say that any illness is a consequence of some kind of spiritual deficency. However, it does add to my stigma. I would like it if someone can bring some rabbinic insight that resolves my issue>

Rav Wolbe notes the following:


To grow as a Torah Jew, a person must have daas.


Most individuals do not have a natural sense of daas and need to be taught. Our generation is particularly short on daas. This is demonstrated by the following:


1. There is a rampant problem of lack of self-confidence today, which he contends is a modern phenomenon.


2. People are frozen into indecision by their "feelings."


3. We accept certain realities that we should endeavor to change, while at the same time we attempt to change things that we should accept.


4. We overreact to frustration.


5. We lack marital stability.


What is daas and how does one achieve it? This is the subject of the sefer, which is a "must read".
 
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HopefulMommy
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12/15/08 7:54 PM
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Not sure what you're asking. It sounds like the opposite -- if you have any of problems listed, you're perfectly normal in this generation.
 
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gad
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12/16/08 6:55 AM
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There are some problems which need therapy. This does not reflect lack of character of the patient. G-d made the person this way, and the Torah gives permission to a doctor to heal.

There are some issues which are helped with spirtual means. Here too it may not reflect a lack of character. "Man was created like a wild donkey," and our job is to try to refine ourselves. It's an ongoing process.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the two apart. And sometimes they intersect, where both methods (therapy and spiritual) can help.

It says that man knows himself (yoda inish binafshoi). By getting to know ourselves better, psychologically and spirtually, we can know better how to accomplish good things.

And by trying to study and know more about G-d, and learning His Torah, we can come closer to Him, and we can know more about the world we live in and our mission.

Until the ultimate knowledge which will be achieved with the coming of Moshiach, when as the Rambam writes: The world will be filled with knowledge of G-d, just as the waters cover the sea.

 
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Aba
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12/16/08 1:28 PM
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> yet disconcerting for me as I am getting treatment.
Rav Wolbe seems to be saying these are some of the problems our generation is having so the fact you are in treatment for them or related issues shows you care enough to change and do something about it.
Sounds positive to me.

Kol Tuv,
Aba


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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besuros toivos
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12/18/08 3:30 PM
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i just came accross this articles. how much does one have to disclose if you have been thru some mental health?

i would appreciate help


-------------------------
a firm believer
 
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besuros toivos
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12/18/08 3:32 PM
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i have had some thearpy too and wanting now to look into shidduchim. can some one advise me with help?


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a firm believer
 
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besuros toivos
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12/18/08 3:33 PM
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or if one knows someone who has possibly been thru something. im a frum 25 girl very kind caring and understanding. yet i feel so lost


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a firm believer
 
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justso
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12/18/08 11:44 PM
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besuros toivos, there are thread that deal with this. Try the main Mental Health forum and the sub-forum "General (Mental Health)"

However a menacheles told me that she asked the rosh kollel of our community this question. The way I understood the answer is that for just stam counseling one doesn't need to disclose. Other posts on this forum have stated that it needn't be disclosed initially. I think you need to discuss the particulars with a rav. (if its ongoing psychiatric condition vs. help dealing with some kind of life difficulty.)

However, personally, I don't think it is good to withhold. My dh knew I had taken anti-depressants before we got married. But honestly, I wasn't sure if some my condition was a one time situation. I suspected I may have to deal with my issues/condition again -- but I was ashamed and didn't discuss this with my dh/fiance at the time. He was very ignorant about mental health issues had a lot of the typical stereotypes and misconceptions. I did not deal with my stigma and dismissed the issue with my dh.... until much later into the marriage and after much difficulties in the relationship (some because of my issues and some because of his.) It is not good to go into a relationship with a secret shame. You may decide to not disclose BUY it should not be because of shame. It has taken me YEARS of struggling in the marriage about this. I hope I can save you from my mistake.

The moral of the story. Work on your own issues of stigma and shame. This is an intergral part of the healing and management of our mental health. There is a differance between being private, discrete about your personal matters and considering them a shameful secret. Get clear about what your issues are all about. Speak with someone trusted and educated about these things in the frum community.
 
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besuros toivos
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12/19/08 6:41 AM
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thanks for some really good advice. i relivley feel so lost cause i live in a small kehilla and not really close to the rov here. i wish i had someone to talk to even from out of my town.

i appreciate all your kind words


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a firm believer
 
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